First, a disclaimer: I am far from an expert on Jesus, Christianity, or the New Testament. But I’ve long been puzzled by the tendency of Christians to forgive when the person who wronged them has not asked for forgiveness or, more importantly (to me, anyway) has shown no indication of awareness of wrongdoing or change of heart. So the following is offered in the spirit of starting a conversation on the matter—or rather, continuing it.
It came up in yesterday’s thread about turning the other cheek. If you missed the discussion, see “starlord”‘s comment here. An excerpt:
Whether or not you agree with Father Morris, he’s not acting outside what his Savior would expect…
Here’s a few of Jesus’s own words that are probably familiar to the least devout of Christians…
Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name…
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us…
And in 14: “14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Seems pretty clear to me why a priest would excuse someone spitting on him…
Father Morris isn’t Jesus, but it seems he tried, imperfectly, to behave in a way that Jesus would have approved…
My response is that it depends what the meaning of “forgive” is. I realize that there’s a lengthy and ancient tradition of discussion on the matter of what Jesus meant by his words on forgiveness, but the following is my own contribution, for what it’s worth.
Bringing up the meaning of the word “forgive” isn’t some sort of sophistry. At the time he was speaking, at least as far as I know, Jesus was a Jew speaking to Jews (I will skip the controversy over whether he spoke Aramaic or Hebrew and say “I don’t know,” and will add that the New Testament was written in a form of Greek and that some scholars think the original was in Aramaic).
I’m not sure when the following distinctions began, but in ancient traditional Judaism there have been at least three different words for forgiveness, only two of which are interpersonal and the last of which (kapparah) is the realm of God only. Of the two human ones, the first is “mekhilah,” required only if the offender has taken steps to correct the wrong: “The principle that mekhilah ought to be granted only if deserved is the core to the Jewish view of forgiveness.” Another Jewish word for (and type of) forgiveness is selikhah, which is basically empathy with the transgressor. In Judiasm, it is considered wrong to withhold forgiveness (mekhilah) if the person has asked for it, shown remorse, and demonstrated the desire to act differently in the future. Short of that, forgiveness is not required, although it is certainly permitted (selikhah). The idea is that mekhilah without the person showing remorse and change just encourages further bad behavior.
I am definitely unfamiliar with all the words of Jesus (or others) on the subject, but “starlord”‘s particular examples can be read in the light of the above paragraph. From the Lord’s Prayer, “As we forgive those that trespass against us” can be seen as the forgiveness we offer someone through mekhilah, and Jesus’ words “if you do not forgive men their trespasses” could be interpreted as referring to “if you don’t offer mekhilah to those who have repented.” None of these passages indicate a requirement for blanket forgiveness to the non-repentant.
In addition, this is in the New Testament:
5. Luke 17:3-4 NIV
So watch yourselves. “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says , ”˜I repent,’ forgive him.”
“If he repents forgive him” is exactly the sort of thing I’m talking about. This statement in Luke 17:3-4 is pretty much the same as the Jewish teaching on forgiveness.
It seems even more explicit in Matthew 18:15-17:
15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
Lastly, on the Cross Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Notice that he is quoted as asking God (the Father) to forgive them (kapparah, in other words). He does not say that he himself forgives them; I leave it up to you to decide why. I certainly don’t know, but I think it’s an interesting omission in the New Testament.
I realize I’m probably treading on a lot of toes here. Let me reiterate very strongly that I’m not saying I know better than Christians about what Jesus said or thought about forgiveness, or even that I know at all. But even within Christianity it’s my impression that there’s quite a bit of disagreement on this. I’m merely offering my own speculations and a somewhat different perspective.
[NOTE: See this for a more complete explanation of the Jewish attitude towards forgiveness and repentance.]