Yesterday I was in New York visiting my 97-year-old mother at the assisted living facility where she’s lived for the past four years.
My mother has been looking thinner lately. Her broken hip and surgery last fall took a bit out of her, and she seems more frail and faded. But fortunately, she’s happy enough and still knows all of us and even manages to crack a few jokes.
I brought her a pizza. It wasn’t the greatest pizza—I’m limited to ordering from the little place down the street—but it was pepperoni, her favorite. And although she ate slowly, she ate steadily: a large piece and a half, and two glasses of water. She always was a woman who loved her pizza.
The place my mother lives now is one of those facilities where management believes it’s good for the residents to be around what might be called “companion animals.” In practice, that meant that we were sitting in front of a bunny hutch wherein resides a rabbit who is a ringer for Peter, munching adorably on a carrot and some lettuce. At our feet was a little dog who has the run of the place, but unfortunately he (like his predecessor canine) doesn’t really have the proper temperament for the job description. In other words, he likes to bark.
The walls of the establishment are decorated in what I’ve come to think of as old age home art. That is, there are prints of paintings that have some sort of hazy, romantic connection to the past. Victorian ladies and gentlemen. Children and their parents, circa late-1800s. Flowery flowers and homey cottages and swinging garden gates.
It all seems designed to evoke memories of the time right before the current residents were born, their parents’ generation really. I’m not sure why that’s the focus, but perhaps to make them feel protected and secure? Or maybe just because it’s the sort of nostalgic art that’s kitschy, popular, readily available, and cheap these days?
My mother was never really into art anyway. She was into people and books. And now, in the basket of her walker, she’s taken to carrying around with her as many books as it will hold. She sometimes reads them when she stops to rest on couches in the hallways as she makes her way about the place. Their presence seems to comfort and reassure her.
When I phone her, she usually reports that she’s been reading. And maybe indeed she has; I wouldn’t really know. I think that her personality is being distilled down to some of its essential elements, and for her that’s family, pizza, and books. Not a bad combo, really; one could do worse at 97.