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Women and men, men and women – short and tall, tall and short — 42 Comments

1. @neo: But I do know that most women prefer to be with a man who gives them the sense that they could physically be protected by the man.

   And most men prefer a young woman with boobs and hips who looks like she could bear and rear children well.

   I don’t want to hear another goddamn thing about how superficial men are when it comes to sexual attractiveness! 🙂

2. I’m 6’2″, and my wife is 5’10”. Seems to work. But height never really entered into my dating requirements: My previous partner was 5′ 6″, and at one point, I was in a long-term relationship with a woman who was 4′ 11″… And it still seemed to work.

   I don’t think I would have any concerns dating a woman taller than me, but they’re few and far between. Just to clarify, my wife would have concerns, but I’m talking hypotheticals.

3. This came up on Instapundit

   https://freebeacon.com/democrats/too-short-to-serve-hasan-piker-brutally-height-mogs-pocket-sized-manlet-abdul-el-sayed/

4. That’s from Andrew Stiles’s satire column at the Free Beacon. Fun, but possibly not solid on facts.

   I am (or was) 5’10″1/2″; my husband, close to 6’3″. My comment about tall men dating short women came from my experience that most men (unlike some of the self-confident men who post on this blog) feel uncomfortable about women visibly taller than they are as romantic partners. Since I was taller than most of the guys until about age 18, and am STILL taller than the average American male, this substantially reduced the pool of potential romantic partners for me.

   As to feeling protected, most men my height, or even men several inches shorter, are stronger than I am. I am not weak; it’s just that they are male. The “feeling protected” is just that, an impression and feeling, not terribly logical. We almost all feel it, though.

5. There was a rather tall guy at my college, and he was once at a party where a woman had brought some friends from her college. He noticed one was tall, thought that was no reason to hit on a girl, and then thought like hell it wasn’t. So he went over to introduce himself.
   They married shortly after graduation.

6. For an interesting perspective on this question check out the webcomic “My Giant Nerd Boyfriend”. This is a slice of life comic written and drawn by a young woman in Malaysia. She and her boyfriend (now her husband) are both ethnic Chinese. They are both artists working in the manga/anime/fantasy field. She is, IIRC, 5′ 3″ and he is 6′ 5″.

7. I am 6-2, my first wife was also 6-2. We were once standing a corner in Seattle waiting to cross the street when Seattle Super Sonic Downtown Freddie Brown walked up and stood beside us. He was in Sonics sweats so I recognized him immediately. He was looking at my wife, I was looking at him. She was taller. (His listed height was 6-3).

   My current wife is 5-7. She is the runt. Everyone else in her family including her late mom was 6-0 or taller.

8. Chases Eagles:

   I guess we don’t have to ask whether you like tall women.

9. My wife is taller than I am. She’s also smarter than I am.

10. The new ABS (automated ball-strke) system in MLB requires accurately measuring the height of each player. It turns out most are 1-2″ shorter than their previously listed heights.

    Some well-known actors are fairly short: Dustin Hoffman, Al Pacino, Tom Cruise. Humphrey Bogart was famously shorter than Ingrid Bergman, requiring some accommodation in filming “Casablanca” (like platform shoes).

    My wife is 4’11”. When she was a teenager her mother told her that she had an advantage: She could date almost anyone, while a tall woman was limited to taller men. She briefly dated a guy who is 6’6″. That didn’t work out, but he ended up introducing me to her.

11. I was 5 feet 10½ inches tall for a very long time.
    Now, I’m not sure I’m even 5 feet 9 inches. Sigh.
    (My wife has shrunk right along with me, so we’re
    still compatible regarding our relative heights.)

12. I had heard the man as protector idea from another woman. I don’t know how prevalent it is, but it is definitely a factor for some.

    There’s an old Ridley Scott movie entitled Someone to Watch Over Me (1987). It’s not a fabulous movie, but I liked it a lot mainly because it is very stylized and well done. It’s a combo cop thriller and romantic drama. In it, they use three different versions of the song (really nice ones) as well as some other great period music.

    huxley: Yeah, no kidding.

    I had a number of thoughts but, suffice to say that at least in the realm of older dating, it’s a woman’s world out there.
    – – – – – –

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AITbFEgzZPU

    Instrumental starts at 0:58
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT3wqFV_ii0

    There’s a Roberta Flack version in the film, but I don’t see it on youtube.
    The trailer
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErFGGccIfkc

13. One of the many attractions of Tom Selleck is that if I ever met him in person he would actually be taller than I am.

14. In the current world of dating apps most women are competing for men 6′ or taller. Some apps are adding a height filter to make it easier for women to skip those men less than 6′.

    Since only ~15% of American men are 6’+, most men find themselves effectively invisible on dating apps.

    Throw in filtering for looks and money, most women are competing for a small number of men.

    O brave new world!

15. I’m six feet tall and my husband is a few inches shorter. He was my college professor and fell for me while I was sitting down – in his class! Turns out if you fall ooshy-gooshy hopelessly in love, by the time you come to your senses, you literally don’t care how tall the other person is.
    Kate, I asked our six-foot son why he was dating only short girls. He said going out with the tall ones was “too much like dating Mom.” Sigh…..

16. I’ve always liked tall men, but not exclusively. I figured it was because my father was tall. I’m medium.

17. I’m 6’2″ and used to look sort of like frat-jock.
    In college, in not exactly academic situations, and sometimes since then, women have said they were glad I was around.
    I guess that might have been a start but I took them literally, considering the situation. What do you think, maybe ten percent were waiting for me to return the serve?
    Missed every one.

18. One of the many attractions of Tom Selleck is … — Kate

    Say no more! What’s not to like? Did you ever watch the early Jesse Stone TV movies? Selleck and that young Canadian actress played by Polly Shannon. Oh my!

    Throw in filtering for looks and money, most women are competing for a small number of men. — huxley

    Yup. A lady friend told me. “But there are more older single women than men in my area.” Yes, so what? These women are hyper selective, and they seem to be making it work for themselves. For whatever reason.

19. From the other side: I am a 5′ 4″ widower. My late wife was 5′ 3″. We had two sons (5′ 8″ and 5′ 7″). Unaccountably, I’ve been married twice. By current standards, I should never have dated, married, or reproduced.

    At 73, the impact of my lack of height on my dating market value is mostly theoretical. A tip of my hat to any woman shallow enough to ‘filter out’ sub-six foot men. Saves me the trouble. Thank God that the love of my life was more broadminded.

    So, how much do you weigh, toots? [Addressed to women generally, not to our hostess.]

20. In college I knew a guy who was 6-6. Later, I met a girl who was 5-10. Both were pretty quiet. I thought, ‘Hmmm I bet they would get along,’ so I introduced them. They were married after graduation. One of two married couples I have introduced to each other. Maybe I missed my calling.

21. Tuvea on April 11, 2026 at 9:09 pm said:
    “My wife is taller than I am. She’s also smarter than I am.”
    On the other hand, it would appear that you are no dummy yourself! 🙂

    M J R on April 11, 2026 at 9:20 pm: regarding a decline in height with age. I don’t know your specific situation, but it suggests to me that everyone should have a complete battery of medical evaluations around age 30 (including bone mineral density and even a fairly complete MRI) to establish a baseline, so this set can be repeated at age 40 and 50, and perhaps more frequently thereafter. But you need the initial baseline for meaningful comparisons.

    BMD is known to decrease with age after 30; I was found to be below the desired value at age 50, but with medication I had modest improvements that also moved me into the normal range as I aged further.

    Ruth on April 11, 2026 at 9:58 pm:
    “… ooshy-gooshy hopelessly in love…”
    Sounds like a promising start to some lyrics for a love song!!

    Some of this discussion led me to think of the bodybuilder and commenter David Reaboi.
    [ David Reaboi, Late Republic Nonsense @davereaboi
    National security, media & political warfare. Graphic design. Jazz, hifi, bodybuilding. “Right-wing Twitter pugilist”—Politico ]
    I don’t recall his height but it is 5’6″ or less. But perhaps if we used the area of a person’s projected shadow against the wall, he might well match some of the taller men around. 🙂

22. I’m 6’2″. I’ve dated women ranging from 5’1″ to 5’10”, and they were all very attractive in their own ways. But the women who were quite a bit shorter than me required a certain amount of effort for us to “fit” together as a couple (including me leaning over a lot).

23. Interesting point I thought, on a Napoleonic era podcast it came up Napoleon was really about average to a little more height for a male in that era, about 5-7. Josephine on the other had was much taller than average. So wonder if that sight difference was the beginning of short man syndrome?

24. I personally find myself most attracted to women shorter than me…which sucks because I’m no Adonis at 5’7″.

    Psychoanalyzing myself for a moment, I think it’s because I’ve always appreciated the traditional gender roles and I feel very protective of women. I think it’s not so much that I’m sexually attracted to shorter women (although I’m not turned off by it), it’s more that I feel an instinctive need to protect and defend them…like I would a little sister.

    The few serious relationships I’ve had have been with women that are about the same height as me.

    Which makes me wonder if it’s some subconscious desire to be mated with an equal, not someone I feel needs protection? I don’t know. Interesting subject though.

    I have a co-worker who’s about 5’5″ but is very solidly built and has confidence for miles. I’ve always been a bit self-conscious about being short for a guy, but it doesn’t seem to bother him a bit. BTW, his wife is about the same height he is too. Doesn’t bode well for their kids growing up to be basketball players.

25. My wife and I married at 22, at which time She was a scant 5’2″ and I was 6’2″. In the intervening 61 years the has lost a little over 2″ and I have lost a little more than 1″, so our height difference has been slightly accentuated.

    My parents had about a 4″ height difference, so I suppose that influenced my own taste in the relative height of a married couple. The bottom line is, I think I have always been more influenced by eyes and personality than how tall a woman is.

26. The ladies’ attraction to men’s height follows a bell curve, if I’m not mistaken. Too short equals less attraction but the same goes for too tall. There’s actual research out there supporting this, though I’m too lazy this Sunday morning to look it up. No different than our waist, hair, and jaw lines and our place in the competence hierarchy, I suppose. (I score high on some metrics, but decidedly low on others.)

27. I grew 2 inches in my 40s and got bigger in terms of muscle/bone mass. Now I’m 6’1″. I did a lot of research and consulted with experts to try to find out the reason for this inexplicable growth spurt in early middle age. Never found a definitive explanation. One expert speculated that it occurred as a result of doing yoga, which may stretched out my back. I’m doubtful, because my whole body got bigger. It’s a mystery. Although I did discover that this is not unknown.

    I like my present height and size. No ill effects. Mrs Otter loves it.

28. At 5’ 9” I’ve had absolutely no problems dating or finding girlfriends throughout my life, even in the earlier days of online dating where I was beating back 40 year old divorcees before I met my current wife there 15 years ago. But I’m athletically built with a body builder torso so maybe that makes up for the missing 3”. I never dated anyone taller but I was never more than 2-4 inches taller than the women I dated, but I think that coincides with my preference for ‘full figured’ women, which I think is rare in very tall women, who are typically built like lanky swimmers or svelte volleyball players.

    My daughter is a 5’ 8” volleyball build (taller than me in heels) and married a 6’4” and they make a striking couple. She didn’t require 6’, just taller, so lucked out. Met randomly at a baggage claim.

29. I’m “world-wide” average height(according to the article referenced by Neo). My wife is an inch taller–and she refuses to ever wear heals.
    I played college football, boxed, and spent 33 years in the NYC fire department where many of the men are giants. Still, I never felt short. (However, once my football coach referred to me as his “little fullback.” Never thought of myself that way.)
    My son is 6’3″, my daughter 5’3″. I guess things even out.

30. My 7th Cavalry great-grandfather was 5-10 according to the army. That put him on the tall side for cavalry. There were a few other men that were 5-10 in his company but without doing the math I would guess the average was about 5-7 or 5-8. The saddler was listed as 5-11 &3/4. He was probably over the limit at 6-0 for real.

    My son is 6-3, my sister and her two daughters are all 5-3.

31. My elder daughter is 5’5″, my younger, 6′. You shake up the genetics and you get what you get.

32. In the current world of dating apps most women are competing for men 6? or taller. Some apps are adding a height filter to make it easier for women to skip those men less than 6?.

    Since only ~15% of American men are 6’+, most men find themselves effectively invisible on dating apps.

    Throw in filtering for looks and money, most women are competing for a small number of men.

    — Huxley

    What else can they do?

    When you’re looking at the presentation of strangers, none of whom are known to you or have any connection to your circle or any frame of reference, what else can either sex do but choose by looks or income or whatever? There’s nothing else to go on.

    So the gals pick for height or income or social status, the guys pick the hottest. Guys are more willing (as a rule) to spread it around, so they’re less picky for dating or sex, but otherwise both are doing the same thing, i.e. obeying genetic programming as set by natural selection.

    The problem is not men and women so much as the very concept of a ‘dating app’.

    There’s an old saying to the effect that 90% of each sex would like to pair off with one of 10% of the other, i.e. the prettiest girls and the richest, highest status handsome guys. It’s a half-truth. Another half-truth that is currently popular with on-line commentators is that ‘men are polygamous, women are hypergamous’. Again, a half truth of biology.

    This stuff is what you get when nothing else but genetic programming is in the mix, but in real life lots of other stuff is in the mix.

    Our culture, as a culture, is trapped in a box because we prioritize self-fulfillment and self-actualization and self-(fill in the blank), but that isn’t really compatible with happy or working relationships with the opposite sex. We tell young people to expect more than is realistically available, and then they are hurt and angry when the opposite sex not only fails to fulfill the unrealistic expectations, but brings demands of their own to the table (not always realistic ones, either).

    It’s made more complicated by our cultural denial of reality about human motives. Guys, as a rule, don’t like to admit that we put a high premium on youth, looks, and sexiness. Women, again as a rule, don’t like to admit how much money and social status in guys means to them. Both are facts of life rooted in genetics and biology, and a healthy society builds guard rails to restrain those tendencies and channel them constructively.

    Our modern Western society has torn out the guardrails and are surprised that Nature didn’t change.

33. When I was single, it mattered to me that the guy I married be as tall as me or taller, as smart as me or smarter, and my age or older; I was not attracted to guys who were shorter/younger/less intelligent than I was. I was less concerned about looks, having learned early in the game that the best-looking guys weren’t always the nicest and the nicest weren’t always the best looking. Most important was that he had to like me the way I was — I’d had more than my fill of relationships with guys who saw me as a fixer-upper. I used to say that if I ever found someone I liked who was happy with me the way I was, I’d marry him so fast it would make his head swim. And I did.

34. RE: Height. My wife and I are the “average” heights. I’m 5′ 10″; my wife is 5′ 8″. (She points out that when we’re laying down, we’re both the same height.) We’ve been married for 45 years.

    My father was 5’5″; my mother was 5′ 12″. (She said that men are 6 feet tall; women are 5’12”.) She complained that she could never wear high heels, because she already towered over him. Dad didn’t seem to care.

    Young women who have specific physical characteristics that they MUST have; most of them are doomed to be disappointed. A bunch of those highly-desirable men KNOW that they are highly desirable, and have their OWN lists of specific requirements. Those lists aren’t always compatible.

35. “..short and tall, tall and short“

    The long and short of it:
    Should have stuck to the wall-to-wall lies and demonization…

    “CBS boss Bari Weiss and network’s president slammed for ratings woes at ‘Evening News,’ ‘CBS Mornings’: ‘Odd couple’”—
    https://nypost.com/2026/04/13/media/cbs-boss-bari-weiss-and-networks-president-slammed-for-ratings-woes-at-cbs-mornings-evening-news-odd-couple/

    “When will they ever learn?
    “When will they ever learn…?”

36. Speaking of “wall-to-wall lies and demonization”…

    ‘20 people were invited to see a video that exposes Palestinian propaganda.
    ‘Every single one had the same response: “I feel like a moron.’—
    https://instapundit.com/789261/

37. I’m average height at 5′ 9″… my wife is 5′ 2″, my daughters are 5′ 4″ and 5′ 7″…

    alas, some of my recent ancestors were 6′ 4″ to 6′ 6″… why didn’t I inherit their height.

38. After my divorce 20+ years ago I decided to give online dating a try. Before taking the plunge, I sat down with a pad of paper and made three columns: must have, nice to have, and dealbreakers. Although I am over 6 feet tall, height was not one of my criteria for choosing a romantic partner.

    One thing I did discover about online dating was that lying is commonplace. Men lie about how tall they are and how much money they make. Women lie about how old they are and how much they weigh.

39. When I was 18 and registered for the draft (right before they did away with the draft) I was 6′ 1″ now I am 5′ 10″. People do shrink.

40. And it isn’t just the cold.

41. As a young 6’5 dude I preferred petite women. My wife of 40 years is 5’4. As I’ve aged I find myself attracted to taller women. I just love the female body. (As the younger deviant me used to say, “it’s all the same when we’re horizontal”.)

42. My wife is 5′ 11″ and a university professor (thus has a PhD.) She’s told me that she didn’t have issues dating men shorter than her, but that she was pretty sure her height caused issues for some of the guys she dated before we met. As did her education level, sometimes. I’ve noticed that she rarely wears heels, and they’re fairly low ones when she does.

    I’m 6′ 2.5″, and she’s the closest to my height of any woman I’ve ever dated.

    It is interesting to me that the American adult male has dropped a couple inches in the last 35 years or so. I remember a local newspaper columnist, the late Ray Orrock, writing a column when I was in high school around 1990-91 or so. He was lamenting the fact that the average male height had risen to 5′ 11″. Mr. Orrock himself was 5′ 11″, and had always enjoyed being ‘above average’. Now he was just average.
    It seems that the cause of the shrinking of the median American male is the increase in the number of Hispanics, especially immigrants from Latin America, as a percentage of the population, because Hispanics tend to be shorter and pull the median lower.

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