When do you know you’re old enough to die?
That’s the headline for this eyecatching article in the Guardian.
At any rate, it certainly caught my eye.
I initially assumed it might be about assisted or permitted suicide, and whether and when a minor could be allowed to make that decision.
But it’s not about that at all; it’s about older people (such as journlaist Barbara Ehrenreich, who seems to have written a book on the subject) who have decided to forego a lot of preventive medical testing and to eat the occasional pat of butter:
Four years ago, Barbara Ehrenreich, 76, reached the realisation that she was old enough to die. Not that the author, journalist and political activist was sick; she just didn’t want to spoil the time she had left undergoing myriad preventive medical tests or restricting her diet in pursuit of a longer life.
While she would seek help for an urgent health issue, she wouldn’t look for problems.
This is news? This is something to write an entire book about??
Ehrenreich seems to have concluded that preventive medical testing isn’t all that cost-effective, particularly as one gets older. This is hardly a revolutionary thought. As for butter—well, there are plenty of people touting a judicious amount of butter, and I remember reading at least three decades ago that it was probably better for you than margarine.
Nor is this advice just for those in their seventies (as Ehrenreich is) and beyond. The youngish and middle-aged could certainly stand to lighten up a bit, too. I recall reading a book about this subject many decades ago, as well, and remembered its title as being Worried Sick. But when I looked it up just now, I found to my surprise that it was one of many with that title that have been published since, all on the same subject. The one I originally read was published in 1988 and called Worried Sick: Our Troubled Quest For Wellness.
No one is getting out of here alive. But we all want to stay alive and healthy and functioning well as long as possible. I’ve known a number of very elderly people who have said that if they get diagnosed with a fatal illness they will reject treatment, but when diagnosed with such (at the ripe old age of 90, for example), and even with other health problems dogging them, still opted for treatment and a longer life.
I contend that no one knows how he/she is going to react till faced with the situation, and we all have to decide how to approach the entire subject of testing and worrying and diet and exercise and all the rest. There are no guarantees; we try to do the best we can, balancing prudence with pleasure.
Eat chocolate and die happy.
I eat and drink what I want. I have a ‘new’ knee and am back to taking long walks, which I enjoy (so do the dogs). But there are limits to what I would be willing to undergo to prolong my life.
Is there an age I can take up smoking? Drinking excessively? Driving the car dangerously fast and without my seat belt fastened?
This is news? This is something to write an entire book about??
yes, because there were one very famous feminist (Carolyn Heilbrun) who checked out and so the parallels are leagues deep (they think)
A Death of One’s Own
Founding feminist, Virginia Woolf scholar, and strong-willed enemy of the patriarchy (as well as mother, grandmother, and wife), Carolyn Heilbrun lived her ideals. The right to choose death–she committed suicide in October–was one of them.
[hard to believe but everything that is anything is now through a feminist lenses or it isn’t seen or wont be]
here was Heilbrun’s most problematic notion, the one she believed was everyone’s moral right: a death of one’s own–suicide
[big freaking snip]
After their walk, Heilbrun returned to the apartment, to her reading, her e-mailing, her long talks with colleagues. By all accounts, she did not have an argument with anyone, nor did she contact any long-lost friends. But soon she was found dead, a plastic bag over her head.
A note lay nearby: “The journey is over. Love to all.”
Funny!
I was “old enough to die” in June ’66 when I went on active service.
I’d thought it through thoroughly when I volunteered for the Armed Services, completely cognizant of the possible results of my decision and was totally comfortable with the idea of dying in the service of my country.
As I age, I’m still comfortable with the thought of dying, just as long as it’s not the result of someone else’s stupidity or incompetence.
When I underwent open heart surgery in ’16 to change out a failing valve, I looked at my chances and thought “It really doesn’t make any difference – if I make it, I make it, if I don’t, well, WTH, I’ve had a good run.”
At that point I had an “epiphany”, I hadn’t changed my thinking in fifty years.
In my early 70’s I go to the gym virtually every day. I like my wine and will not give that up, but otherwise eat a rather healthy diet. I think the most important thing about living the last quarter of your life is remaining physically and mentally active. Our genes and how we lived our early years will probably determine our life’s end. Finally, one of my mother’s sisters at age 85 was diagnosed with bladder cancer for which the doctor advised major surgery. She chose not to, having had a good life and was prepared for the inevitable. She died in her one hundredth year, after being in no great distress.
Uh, Ehrenreich? This Ehrenreich?
https://fee.org/articles/nickel-and-damned-barbara-ehrenreichs-view-of-america/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nickel_and_Dimed#Response_and_criticism
Feh
In the last two and a half years I’ve experienced two major surgeries and been diagnosed with wet macular degeneration, which is being treated to keep me from going blind. Up till those two surgeries I had had pretty good health, but the last two and half years have convinced me that I don’t want to go through another major surgery. I’m quite debilitated now and life is not nearly the pleasure it was before this all began. If the doctor could assure me that I will have three more years of a decent quality of life, (What doctor would make that claim, except one who was desperate for the business?) I might be willing to do another surgery. Otherwise, just keep me comfortable.
In the last three months my situation has improved some. I can go to the gym for mild workouts and do yard work that has been done by contractors for the last two years. That has improved the quality of life quite a bit, but I can see the end of the trail now and it does not alarm me.
A neighbor died three moths ago after about four months of hospice care. It wasn’t pretty, but he died in his home on his own terms. At 85, and a shell of my former self, that appeals to me. Its been a full life with few regrets, so I can’t complain.
J.J.,
A close friend (although about 25 years older than me) passed away last year at about age 94. Your comments remind me of what he was like back when he was your age, macular degeneration and other debilitations included. Up until the final year, he kept going to movies, lunches and dinner. He even kept up his law practice for some top notch clients until the very end. Like you, he occasionally mentioned that the end just might be near.
At 82, I know I am old enough, and I accept that.
But, there are other considerations. I believe that it is prudent, ethical even, to do what you can to prevent a debilitating condition that puts a burden on those who love you and must see to your care. Or at least postpone the condition as long as possible.
So, I walk my 4+ miles; I do light exercises; I see my Cardiologist, and take the hand full of pills that he prescribes; I eat sensibly and I drink my red wine in moderation–mostly.
When the time comes, I hope that I will be sanguine, and can go without undue fuss or bother. Certainly no ridiculous procedures to eke out a few more breaths. That seems like such an insult to a long and happy life.
(I have written a fairly comprehensive briefing for my daughters in hopes that without too much effort, they will be able to relieve their mother of the tangle of financial and other issues that make up a life.)
Total agreement with Gary D G above, I also went into the Army in June of 1966, and I made my peace with life and death stuff. Years later going through cancer three times and ending up in my 70’s I am in bonus time. I like bacon and eggs cooked in butter, I probably eat too much red meat but I cook it myself and don’t eat much processed food or fat food and avoid white starch stuff so there’s that.
I like a glass or two of wine or a drink or two and since my numbers still come up good, even working on one kidney my docs tell me keep on doing what works. Actually since retiring five years ago and doing as much outdoor activity and yard work as possible I am in much better shape now than I have been for years.
I will take each year as it comes along as a blessing and I love watching my grand kids growing up, love my family and my wife and I joke about not want to go first when our time is up. She was a widow in her 40’s and she says it’s her turn to go first this time. To me losing family and friend is the hard part about moving through the our 70’s. I sure do know a lot of dead people now.
I have friends who have made it into their 90’s all right a friends in their 70s and 80s who are going through rough times but what the heck, what else are we going to do. I also find solace in my faith, our Methodist Church and I am active in a lot of things at church every week with people to see and things to do.
So why worry, enjoy the good ride as long as it lasts and then settle down and hang on for the end. I am lucky to come from a family who seems to age out well and then hang it up with grace and a smile and a joke or two since we won’t get out alive.
Alan Turing: Inquest’s suicide verdict ‘not supportable’
IF you know the circumstances of his “suicide” you wonder how they managed this one..
It is widely said that Turing had been haunted by the story of the poisoned apple in the fairy tale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and had resorted to the same desperate measure to end the persecution he was suffering as a result of his homosexuality.
so i guess they are going to claim he kept a poison apple around and accidently ate it…
But according to Prof Copeland, it was Turing’s habit to take an apple at bedtime, and that it was quite usual for him not to finish it; the half-eaten remains found near his body cannot be seen as an indication of a deliberate act.
Indeed, the police never tested the apple for the presence of cyanide.
ok class… why do you think not to check out the apple? i am guessing that the person saying this has never seen a cyanic person before… (most havent)
“Early symptoms include headache, dizziness, fast heart rate, shortness of breath, and vomiting”
“This may then be followed by seizures, slow heart rate, low blood pressure, loss of consciousness, and cardiac arrest.”
A cherry red skin color that changes to dark may be present as the result of increased venous hemoglobin oxygen saturation.
Within a few hours of single ingestion, no cyanide can be detected, since all of it is metabolized unless death occurs first. (The detection of cyanide long after supposed ingestion is an indication of a false positive in the diagnostics.)
rather than hit you with spoilers:
http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-18561092
the decline starts when you reach the point in life where life takes more from you than it gives and the people you knew start dropping as you wait to see who gets the short stick, the lucky get to see them all fall, including family…
toodles
I’m 82 and, except for cardiac arrhythmia which is controlled by medication, I’m quite healthy.
Over the past few months I’ve had to live through experiencing my wife sink deeper into dementia, become a wanderer or escape risk, and finally having to place her in a secure nursing facility. The hardest part for me was watching her go through it coupled with the strain, pain, and depression on my part. I’ll probably never completely recover from it.
As for end of life decisions, we don’t always have much of a choice in how it happens or doesn’t happen.
When a livestock needs to be harvested, then it is old enough to die.
“Vegetarians don’t live forever – it just seems like it”. Carpe diem.
I abandoned the practice of internal medicine in the 1970s because I was sick of seeing the “Worried well.”
I went into radiation oncology, where EVERY new patient needed my help, the best help that I could possibly provide. Took an additional three years of residency training, but a true blessing. Now I was offered the opportunity to cure cancers! Wow!
If I make it to 65 (I am 51), I don’t think I would bother treating any life-threatening condition like cancer if it involved a major surgery. I would probably not bother to treat any quality of life procedure that didn’t promise a significant increase in that quality- in other words, I might do a knee or hip replacement, but it would have to be close to immobile before I would consider it.
I am getting an up front view of such a situation with my father who will soon be 73. He is suffering from serious dementia. I am fairly sure that were he of a well mind, he would forgo all interventions given his quality of life, but he is incapable of making such decisions now- I don’t think he is even aware of his circumstances in more than a cursory way- he is quite convinced he is well and it is my mother and myself who are demented.
Frog:
I imagine oncology to be both very difficult/challenging (losing a lot of patients) and very very rewarding (saving a lot of patients) at the same time.
Phil Underwood:
I am very sorry to hear about your wife.
When I have cracked my last nut. Then, and only then, will my life be roasted and toasted.
I’m 75 and found the comments here very helpful. A good group of people Neo has gathered! I have a somewhat different perspective I think is worth mentioning because I struggled well below my potential up until about 10 years ago when I had a transformative spiritual experience. I had worked hard for it but recognised it as pure grace when it occurred. Since then I have lived my life in a far more productive and satisfying way, and, naturally enough, with a sense of making up for lost time. Unlike those of you who faced up to death in connection with military service I knew I was not so prepared when faced with the Vietnam War. I did nothing to avoid the draft – I was just a bit too old – but I knew I was not morally prepared to deal with accepting my possible death in military service. So for me there has been a counterintuitive lessing of the fear of death as I come closer to it. I find myself in agreement with those who say the veil gets thinner as we age. I do not have the ‘old enough to die’ mentality because I am getting too much done that needs doing. In conventional Christian terms I would say that the inner spiritual work has its own dynamic and is not not finished until it is finished – death notwithstanding. What is left undone must be completed in Purgatory. I saw a quite good movie about the inner work of transformation yesterday called The Endless. It explores the myriad ways we stay stuck in Hell – The Endless – and clearly suggests it is possible to transform Hell into Purgatory. Good news indeed. 😉
I’m 51, and had bone cancer at the age of 15. I wanted to live, and here I am. After 25 years of atheism, I became a devout Catholic.
In the years immediately following my cancer treatment, I decided I wouldn’t go through it again. I also knew at that time that time softens all bad memories. So at this point I would go through it again.
In terms of death overall, from a secular perspective my main goal in exercising and eating right is compressed morbidity. From a religious perspective, death is merely a change, and I’ll be going home. I’m a pilgrim here – this isn’t my home.