A few days ago I went to Walmart to buy some Jazz apples, my favorite variety. These days the only stores that carry them around where I live are Walmart and Trader Joe’s. Another thing I wanted to get was a certain kind of dental floss.
While I was at Walmart I noticed some extraordinary outfits. On people, not for sale on the rack.
The first outfit of note was on a young woman with long purple hair and very dramatic makeup, and a few rings here and there (nose, for example). But that wasn’t what caught my eye. She also had on what I can only describe as some sort of S-and-M costume. It consisted of – I didn’t want to stare although perhaps that’s what she wanted, and so I’m not sure of every detail – some sort of shiny black bra and panties, a little black leather bolero with metal studs, metal armband bracelets, black fishnet stockings, black shiny high-heeled boots, and a whip.
No, just kidding about the whip.
The store was also full of the usual strung-out and wasted middle-aged and older people. Drugs? Poverty? Mental illness? Some combination of all of them?
As I was leaving, ahead of me I saw two women walking. I only saw their backs, so I’m not sure, but I think they were identical twins because they had the same very unusual body. They weren’t especially fat – maybe just a bit overweight, although nothing special – but they had the largest posteriors I’ve ever seen on people whose shape was fairly normal otherwise. These women made Kim Kardashian look very modest in that arena. They had long flowing straight hair, tiny waists, and their legs tapered down rather quickly to thin ankles. None of this would have been so very strange, I guess, had they not been wearing completely form-fitting multi-colored tights of some sort of sparkly shiny stuff, to draw attention to the entire area.
It was – unusual. sort of like horses, from behind. It reminded me of something, and for a moment I couldn’t figure it out. Then I realized it was this:
I left Walmart, went to my car, and unloaded my small bag of groceries. And then I noticed that I’d left the dental floss in the cart and and had never taken it out to buy it. The price was ninety-eight cents, but I just couldn’t bring myself to put it in the trunk and take it. So I thought I’d leave it in the cart and let the store put it back.
At that moment the young woman who worked for Walmart collecting carts came by. “Is that yours?” she asked, pointing at the lonely dental floss in my cart. I explained to her what had happened, and she looked at me in complete puzzlement. “Just take it,” she said. “Nobody’s going to care.”
This was a store employee, and I’m virtually certain she was correct. But it struck me how things have changed; stores have so much theft now that it’s factored in, and the loss of a bit of floss is a joke to them.
I just shrugged and made a sort of hands-up gesture of futility, got in my car, and left.
