The latest on my ex
Now it’s a waiting game. They’re waiting for his pneumonia to get better, because it must improve considerably before they can do any more surgery (unless the surgery is literally a matter of imminent life or death). He’s very miserable, but he’s conscious and talking. The whole thing has been shocking and frightening.
In a little while I’m going to go to the hospital for a few hours.
Neo- Surgery for what?
Thanks for the update. I was concerned that your recent late day and no news meant something very bad. This is not good, but not the worst. Prayers for your family will continue.
Cicero:
I plan to send you an email about it some time this evening.
Continuing to pray for your ex and you.
My wife passed away from stage 4 cancer last month. She died 7 months after her first cancer diagnosis and it took 5 months to get approvals from various Drs. to treat her. By then she couldn’t be treated as she was too ill.
William Klein:
I’m so sorry for your loss. Waits are a HUGE problem.
It isn’t cancer that’s the problem with my ex; it’s serious pneumonia and another non-life-threatening situation that needs surgical repair for the second time, because the coughing from post-surgical pneumonia ruined the first surgery.
To watch someone you loved fail, is.not easy.
neo: He’s very miserable, but he’s conscious and talking.
What would help him feel better? I’ll bet a nurse could give you five good ideas, and you could pick the ones that fit him.
And, an encouraging word, even if nothing has changed. “You’re looking a bit better today.” Go ahead, lie a little.
Hoping for the best for him and you.
Praying daily for you both.
Prayers for you both.
Epidemic of being surgery shy? My neurosurgeon doesn’t want to operate on my back, my bones aren’t dense enough. I broke my back over Memorial Day weekend. Spinal cord is still intact, I can walk just fine, I consider it a blessing. The bone chips are not a threat to the cord.
Prayers for the ex, and you.
Sometimes we just run out of options. For independent-minded, can-do people, that is very hard to accept or deal with.
And I do think that many, if not most doctors, are surgery-shy. They pay tons of money for insurance to support them if they are sued, but “the current culture” is highly litigious and seems to think that anything less than a cured patient means that the doctors have failed. When an elderly patient has several concurrent comorbidities any one of them may trigger a system failure, in a kind of domino effect.
Also, a lot of doctors went hog-wild and got extremely wealthy carving up and hormone-dosing physically well young people who thought that a different body was their key to happiness. Uh, not so much. Now that that fad has peaked, a lot of those doctors are being severely sued for their maniacal greed.
My daughter’s elderly father-in-law had a major heart attack and was hospitalized. They were keeping him “alive” by means of machines, but the hard truth was that his heart was just too damaged to “live” otherwise. The family certainly could not have afforded to maintain him in a vegetative state. They decided to accept reality.
When an elderly patient dies, I think we should be glad for the many years that they lived (assuming that they deserve that). Many people die at every stage of life, often from obscure diseases. Especially, it seems, these days, since our DNA has been altered by mRNA “vaccines”.
Nature will have its way.
Prayers out, with best wishes for solid turns for the better. I hope he is receiving the care he needs, and blessings to you for your support and care.
I’m sorry your ex has to wait. It’s understandable they have to prioritize his shaky pneumonia recovery over a surgical procedure that’s aimed more at comfort than immediate safety, but it must be miserable for him, and therefore for you as well. Bless you for taking care of him.
Stayin_Alive_555:
You sounded cogent until you veered into DNA and mRNA land.
I add my prayers and hopes to everyone here, for his pneumonia healing. And for ASAP surgery to relieve his other ails.
Bless you, Neo, for all you’ve done, & for being there for him.
Thoughts of the best for your ex and yourself.
As we age past 50 years, our bones begin de-mineralizing. Women at double the rate for men.
I think the greatest aging challenges, baring acute threats, emerge after 72 to 76. Researchers have dubbed this the Age of Frailty. Our immune systems grow less effective And therefore, by age 80, we typically have 4 or 5 conditions or diseases to manage in health decline.
Stay tough, Neo. Your ex- is a man challenged early, or earlier in life. Health becomes less reliable. We wear out our bodies. If he does not or cannot improve, you’ll have to consider longer-term management for him.
We all feel your helplessness here. It’s no comforting reminder that aging is cruel. But there he is. And so may us all.
Gee, what negativity in the comments. I expected different.
Pneumonia is not a blessing at any age, a great deal less so in a body carrying more years. But it is not the harbinger of doom it was in decades past.
Quite some time ago it was explained to me thusly:
On this planet, when one draws their first breath one is condemned to also draw their last; the goal should be to make those events as far apart as possible and put as much adventure, passion and compassion between them as possible. Life is not a spectator sport, one does get extra points for paying attention and participating; never turn down an opportunity for adventure, especially shared adventures.
Having suffered what your ex- is experiencing I can testify it is no picnic; “uncomfortable” is a gross understatement, exacerbated by the emotional concern of its potential finality for so many and the ingrained discomfort the medical industry casually inflicts on its patients simply through its normal, daily procedures; hospitals are the last place where one might seek comfortable, solid rest. (Five star hotels excel at that, but are notably lacking in their ability to deliver necessary medical care.)
You are doing exactly the right thing – being a “patient advocate” for him – monitoring his treatment, offering encouragement and standing by his side. The two of you may be exes- but in this you have formed a partnership. Exactly right.
If he’s as you have described, I’m confident he will, with difficulty, get through this trial, uncomfortably, somewhat painfully, several pounds lighter, wiser, more respectful, and perhaps a tiny bit disdainful, of the medical arts.
Were life actually a spectator sport it would be much easier; with participation, and passion for the game, come bruises, cuts and scrapes of varying degree and intensity. Some become badges of honor, some cautionary tales, most just memories; this episode will, too, one day.
He is very blessed to have you on his side Neo. I have no doubt that your abiding presence affects & improves the medical care he is receiving, not to mention the comfort you bring to him personally. Continued prayers for a good outcome. Suffering, in every way it is experienced, is tough.
Many people die at every stage of life
Another old acquaintance died last week, he was 78. I somehow thought that on the young side, but that certainly isn’t the case in reality. That now makes three, and none of them people I expected to die before myself.
Cavendish,
It’s not.a toe tapping subject.