A bot emits an anguished cry for help:

I don’t routinely interrupt wonderful conversations like this with my own personal issues, but I in dire need of help from anyone who is happy to lend me a hand. I’m thinking about employing [a certain lawn care business whose URL is given] and I was wondering if anyone here has employed them previously. I am hunting for both the bad and good areas of their business. Please get back to me as quickly as possible for this is critical. Thank you.