Beware the Necco Smoothie
The Necco Smoothie is a revolting impostor.
The other day it sucked me in with its colorful wrapper, its Necco pedigree, and its resemblance to the original (and still champion) Necco wafer. And so I tried it.
Once. Never again.
Here’s Necco’s own description of the product:
Necco ‘Smoothies’ Wafer Roll
Combining the Classic Necco Wafers® formula with the taste of a Smoothie drink. With their smooth texture and unique recipe, NECCO Wafers® Smoothies will have candy lovers everywhere falling for the five tempting fruit flavors—Blueberry, Banana Caramel, Tropical, Peach and Strawberry Cré¨me.
Beware. Despite the continental sophistication of the cute little French accent mark above the first “e” in “Creme,” these things are dreadful: cloying and artificial-tasting in a way that the original Necco wafers never are.
Why try to improve on an already perfect thing? It reminds me of remakes of classic and beloved movies. Has a remake ever, ever, ever been an improvement on the original? I can’t think of one offhand.
Well, I think Branagh’s Henry V beats the Olivier verson hands down. But they were made in different times for different reasons. Plus, I suppose that a movie based on a play wouldn’t count–athough there is that remake of The Women.
3:10 to Yuma.
Also Ocean’s 11 I found to be more entertaining.
And a remake of “Gone with the Wind” would be worthwhile; the original is completely unwatchable at this point.
Monstrous! Oh monstrous!
Yeah, I was going to say “Ocean’s Eleven”. The old one doesn’t hold up very well.
I might add, also, “The Thomas Crown Affair”. I thought the newer one was more inventive and interesting (and plausible) than the original.
I would take Steve McQueen over Pierce Brosnon as Crowne any day. I can think of two movies which I thought were just as entertaining (though different) than the originals
Cape Fear (based on the novel “The Executioners” by my favorite author – John D. McDonald)
Sabrina
The only use I ever had for Necco wafers was as particularly challenging targets for my .22 pistol.
It is my understanding from various sources that neo-neocon has a taste bud disorder wherein and whereby tasty treats taste bad and bad crap tastes good. My sources, as you can see, cannot be challenged.
PB
Executive Vice-President, Necco Inc.
Alfred Hitchcock considered the 1956 version of The Man Who Knew Too Much to be better than the 1934 version.
Holmes has committed a terminological inexactitude!
Thanks for the warning.
The John Huston Maltese Falcon is far better than the 2?-3? versions made before it. I also like His Girl Friday better than The Front Page.
Sounds disgusting. When do they get their bailout?
Guh. Thanks the warning, neo. Here’s hoping that Necco doesn’t fall prey to the NeueCokeKatastrophe impulse, and eliminate “Neccos Classic”.
I like the version of “The In-Laws” with Albert Brooks and Michael Douglas better than the original, too. They got a marvelous comedy chemistry going on and a few underappreciated supporting actors to round the whole thing out.
The new Battlestar Galactica television series is hands down better than the original in every way.
That’s the only example I can think of off hand.
young marketing people LOVE to do this. they care not about love, social cache, etc… they learned the rules (which is why the marketers have murdered our cafeteria at the hospital), and so they will convince management (after first convincing them that they are great), to make inane changes and combinations and call that ‘progressive’
another example of cargo cult empty image thinking. they are not combining things becase it wll work, they have no way of determining that since nothing matters to them (except themselves maybe). so what they do is put concepts together and sell through the marketing idea thinking that they can teach us what we will want to drink, eat, etc.
i have seen this and keep seeing it all over in various forms where image is more than content.
they are right on image, it drew you in. but they are playing a numbers game, attempting to see if the image mash up draws enough to the product that it gets a stable amount of purchasers to maintain enough and make it sellable.
its a very different way to target and it sort of works, as its results and mehtods are all known quantities, but it has no substance. the reason it has no substance is that they are so leftist that talent is missing.
so you have great products out there, but are nto designed by marketers using formulea to pretend to create substance on demand (mediocre at best and worst),they are generally designed and made by visionairies, and then later warped once we are addicted to them by bloating them till we are disatisfied, and to create a constant turn over.
its a false version of a measure of progress in a capitalist system in that things fracture. like sand on a pile as you add more. however, fracturing things as a process, does not progress make.
this is why nathans hotdogs are still loved, why entemans, ivory soap, and tons of others. while some born of great ad campaigns, most still exit anda re loved because they truly serve their customers rather than manipulatively serve the company by manipulating the customers.
There’s a special place in Hell for these people who change a good thing. “New Coke” comes to mind. And it hasn’t been the same since.
Oh, Neo, I feel sad that you have become a victim of the new “Changes” that will result in a better world for humanity.
necco meant whaT? neo con, bon bon
Thanks for the heads-up on the new Neccos. Some years back Invention and Technology did a short piece on the Necco factory, the machine that makes the wafers is the longest continuously running machine in America.
The Count of Monte Cristo. The 2002 movie version is admittedly a rewrite, with marked deviations from the Dumas original; nonetheless, it’s better than previous filmed versions, and it does justice to the original story. (In my recent paperback edition of CoMC, the 2002 movie is the only one to get a positive review in the Afterword.)