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A blog about political change, among other things

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Marriage: when?

The New Neo Posted on April 5, 2013 by neoApril 5, 2013

In the annals of embarrassing-mother moments, Susan Patton’s letter to the Princeton paper—exhorting girls (women?) at the school to look around at wonderful guys such as her son (a student there) and consider them a great pool of marriage material the likes of which they may not find again in one place at one time—ranks way up there, not the least because of the huge blogosphere brouhaha it engendered.

Susan Patton is an alum of Princeton, and her advice basically boils down to “strike while the iron is hot.” I could argue with her tone here and there, but her most basic message still rings true, and is pretty much the same one that rang in our ears when I went to college, the wisdom of which we acknowledged at the time and did our level best to actualize.

Let me just say that almost all of my friends met their husbands-to-be in yes, in college. Almost all were married young (actually, very young for some), almost all are still married to that very same person, and almost all have had children and careers and the sorts of lives that most of today’s women profess to want (some of these friends of mine are what you might even call “eminent”). I was a bit of an outlier, having met my husband-to-be the first week of grad school at twenty-one, and getting married at the ripe old age of twenty-six, which did feel oldish at the time but of course was not.

So it has taken me a while to understand that Bookworm, for example, may be correct when she describes some of today’s women as actually passing up a man they think is their “soulmate” merely because the timing isn’t right. And Megan McArdle, who is certainly closer to college age than I am, says that people do meet the right person and break up because it’s not “the right time.”

But I wonder how many people—women or men—are actually doing this.

And at least this group is for the most part still interested in getting married.

Posted in Academia, Me, myself, and I, Men and women; marriage and divorce and sex | 20 Replies

The following does not appear…

The New Neo Posted on April 5, 2013 by neoApril 5, 2013

…to be an April Fools joke, or an Onion article.

But I think I’ll take a raincheck on it anyway.

I kinda like the disparate elements, although I rarely let myself indulge in those particular vices. But the combo? Gag me with a spoon.

Although in the spirit of adventure…hmmm…if someone put one in front of me…[trails off, lost in thought]…

Posted in Food, Pop culture | 5 Replies

More on France2, al Durah, Enderlin, and Karsenty

The New Neo Posted on April 5, 2013 by neoApril 5, 2013

Richard Landes is on the case.

Posted in Israel/Palestine, Law, Press, Violence | 3 Replies

Mug me again!

The New Neo Posted on April 4, 2013 by neoApril 4, 2013

Here’s a story for you:

Last year when liberal Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer was robbed, the New York Post editorial page used it to recall one of the late Ed Koch’s favorite anecdotes:

Back when he was first running for mayor, Ed Koch used to tell of the time he told some senior citizens about a judge he knew who’d been mugged.

The judge, said Koch, told a group that “this mugging will not influence any of my decisions from the bench” ”” whereupon a woman yelled, “Mug him again!”

While the Post was roundly criticized in some quarters for insensitivity, the lesson was apt. Those who can’t learn from their encounters with violent criminals lack credibility when they render judgment on dealing with related issues.

This anecdote came to mind when reading of the encounter of leftist Israeli filmmaker Yariv Horowitz”“who was in Aubagne, France to pick up an award at a film festival for his film Rock the Casbah”“had with a gang of Arab toughs. Though his movie is a cinematic attack on Israeli policies and a bouquet thrown in the direction of the Palestinians, the Arabs proved to be uninterested in his politics and instead subjected him to the same treatment they have accorded to many another Jew: he was badly beaten.

But like the judge in the Ed Koch story, Horowitz won’t let it influence him. When he regained consciousness, he refused to press charges against his attackers. Nor did he draw any conclusions about the intent of the mob that beat him up.

That immediately brought mind the story of Robert Fisk, whom you may fondly remember as the guy after whom the verb “to fisk” was named.

Here’s why (an article Fisk wrote about the time he was attacked by an Afghan mob):

They started by shaking hands. We said “Salaam aleikum” ”“ peace be upon you ”“ then the first pebbles flew past my face. A small boy tried to grab my bag. Then another. Then someone punched me in the back. Then young men broke my glasses, began smashing stones into my face and head. I couldn’t see for the blood pouring down my forehead and swamping my eyes. And even then, I understood. I couldn’t blame them for what they were doing. In fact, if I were the Afghan refugees of Kila Abdullah, close to the Afghan-Pakistan border, I would have done just the same to Robert Fisk. Or any other Westerner I could find.

Some people are NOT mugged by reality. They are merely mugged, and then they pile on—themselves:

Posted in Afghanistan, Israel/Palestine, Middle East, Press, Violence | 24 Replies

I love this story

The New Neo Posted on April 4, 2013 by neoApril 4, 2013

Here’s another story about love coming late in life, which seems to be an emerging theme for today.

I also love the fact that this reunited couple both report having had happy marriages before they got back together (after becoming a widow and widower). Good for them; perhaps they’re just happy people in general. Also, they really are pretty recognizable from their early photos, which isn’t always the case (she in particular, I think, although his slightly crooked smile is instantly recognizable).

sweethearts

This reuniting with an old flame is a common occurrence—or at least fantasies about it are a common occurrence. I’ve known quite a few people who’ve acted on them. There’s just something about young love that has a tremendous force, something like imprinting.

I’d love (note that word again) to see some statistics on whether it usually works out. The people I know who did it ultimately separated again before they even got around to marrying. Sometimes fantasy is much better than reality.

Posted in Men and women; marriage and divorce and sex | 6 Replies

Mark Sanford is engaged…

The New Neo Posted on April 4, 2013 by neoApril 4, 2013

…in campaigning for a vacant House seat in South Carolina as the official Republican nominee, having won the runoff election.

Yes, that Mark Sanford, the one who sort of lost his mind and ran off, not to the Appalachian trail as he originally said, but to an adulterous liaison in Argentina. Who said there are no second acts in American lives (F. Scott Fitzgerald, actually, but what did he know about politics)?

Oh, and Sanford is also engaged to be married; his latest press conference featured his fiancée Maria Belen Chapur at his side. Yes, they are intending to marry, four years after the debacle. I can’t imagine what they’ve been waiting for, but here they are (she looks a bit like Ali McGraw to me):

Sanford

One of the reasons Sanford was disgraced is that he didn’t go the usual route of successfully keeping the affair quiet (or at least continuing to do his job without interruption), divorcing his wife, and then marrying his lover. Instead, he went on walkabout and went AWOL from his job as governor for a few days. So this wasn’t just an ordinary peccadillo, this really seemed to affect his job directly rather than indirectly.

Shortly thereafter, I wrote a post about infidelity among politicians in which I observed:

The list of erring political husbands (yes, it’s usually husbands, although no doubt there are woman in public life who do the same) is long. But usually love’s got nothing to do with it. I wasn’t in their bedrooms to find out for sure, but I think we can safely say that for John Kennedy and Elliot Spitzer and John Edwards and John Ensign (what’s up this with all these “John’s”?) and Bill Clinton (whose bedroom/office we practically were in, thanks to Ken Starr’s report), the aim was to satisfy several lusts at once: conquest, power, excitement, and sex for fun and frolic.

…[But not] Governor Sanford, who seems to have been in a star-crossed-lovers situation. This makes him far more sympathetic, and far more rare. So why didn’t he just get divorced and marry his Argentine paramour? Perhaps she didn’t want to leave her country. Perhaps he felt too much guilt about his wife and especially his children (although not enough to stop him from having the affair in the first place). Perhaps he thought it would ruin his political career to divorce and remarry, although paradoxically, keeping the affair secret and acting so oddly and irresponsibly has probably sunk it far more in the end.

It remains to be seen whether that last statement is correct, because I’m not sure Sanford is sunk politically (although there’s no way to tell if he would have been better being more up-front about his infidelity in the first place, instead of inventing a cockamamie story that ended up fooling no one but worrying many.) But it does seem to have been a serious relationship rather than a fling, and although I wouldn’t put money on its lasting for the rest of their lives, perhaps it will.

Sanford is another example of a Republican candidate who won in a runoff or primary but seems weak, and leaves the seat vulnerable to a Democratic takeover in a district or state that Republicans should ordinarily be able to hold rather easily. We’ve had an awful lot of them lately, haven’t we? This article points out how he won: a combination of low voter interest and high name recognition, as well as his political skills and emphasis on forgiveness, and the fact that the district involved seems composed more of country-club Republicans than soc-cons (although soc-cons are often willing to vote for a sinner if he/she shows repentance).

I don’t know about ex-wife Jenny and his four sons; they’ll have to iron this out for themselves. Enough voters seem to have forgiven him to have made him the candidate. But have enough forgiven him to enable him to be elected?

Posted in Men and women; marriage and divorce and sex, Politics | 22 Replies

Crime and punishment

The New Neo Posted on April 4, 2013 by neoApril 4, 2013

Every now and then there’s a murderer with a guilty conscience.

Posted in Law, Violence | 1 Reply

You can always go downtown—again

The New Neo Posted on April 3, 2013 by neoApril 3, 2013

One of the things that draws me to YouTube is its ability to collapse time.

I’ve written other posts before that use this then/now format, but I don’t really tire of it. So here’s another.

Petula Clark, then:

And now (she’s 80):

As for Clark’s singing, you may be surprised to learn that the great and greatly eccentric classical pianist Glenn Gould was quite taken with her.

So that thought can be a bridge to the idea that Gould also lends himself to YouTube time-traveling. His debut recording was made in 1955 at the ripe old age of 22, and it was of Bach’s Goldberg Variations. His final one, made shortly before his death at the age of 50, was of the very same piece.

I say “the very same piece.” But Gould made sure it sounded very different.

Here’s a YouTube video comparing the two versions. First we hear the opening Aria movement played by the young, uptempo, “buoyant” Gould. It runs almost twice as fast as the second, more contemplative version that follows. Then there’s a short interview with Gould on the difference between his two interpretations, in which he says (among other things):

I find that I recognized at all points, really, the fingerprints of the party responsible [the young Gould himself, of course]—I mean from a tactical standpoint, from a purely mechanical standpoint. So I recognized the fingerprint. But (and it is a very big but) I could not recognize, or identify with, the spirit of the person who made that recording. It really seemed like some other spirit had been involved, and as a consequence I was just very glad to be doing it again.

Carved onto Gould’s tombstone in Toronto’s Mt. Pleasant Cemetery are the first few measures of the Goldberg Variations—that is, the aria you hear on the above video.

Posted in Getting philosophical: life, love, the universe, Music, People of interest | 21 Replies

Confusion if DOMA’s overruled

The New Neo Posted on April 3, 2013 by neoApril 3, 2013

The fact that if SCOTUS overrules DOMA the result will be conflict of laws over who is married and who is not should come as absolutely no surprise. In fact, one of the reasons for the passage of the act in the first place was to avoid such confusion and make it clear how federal laws would work in the presence of the differences between the way states treat gay marriage.

To promoters of gay marriage who believe it should be universally accepted, this is probably a feature rather than a bug. Although I’m not conversant with all the finer legal points here, it seems to me the next step for them—if DOMA is declared unconstitutional by SCOTUS—would be to push for the idea that the resultant chaos should be resolved in favor of forcing all states to allow it. The argument would probably be that letting gay couples who are able to get married because they live in states that allow it receive tax and other federal benefits that are denied to other gay couples who would like to be married but who reside in states that do not allow it would be considered a denial of Fifth Amendment equal protection rights.

Posted in Law, Men and women; marriage and divorce and sex | 10 Replies

This was so successful the first time…

The New Neo Posted on April 3, 2013 by neoApril 3, 2013

…let’s do it again!—says the Obama administration:

The Obama administration is engaged in a broad push to make more home loans available to people with weaker credit, an effort that officials say will help power the economic recovery but that skeptics say could open the door to the risky lending that caused the housing crash in the first place.

President Obama’s economic advisers and outside experts say the nation’s much-celebrated housing rebound is leaving too many people behind, including young people looking to buy their first homes and individuals with credit records weakened by the recession.

In response, administration officials say they are working to get banks to lend to a wider range of borrowers by taking advantage of taxpayer-backed programs ”” including those offered by the Federal Housing Administration ”” that insure home loans against default.

Housing officials are urging the Justice Department to provide assurances to banks, which have become increasingly cautious, that they will not face legal or financial recriminations if they make loans to riskier borrowers who meet government standards but later default.

Fool or knave?

Knave.

Posted in Finance and economics, Obama | 22 Replies

The AP has a way to solve the “illegal immigrant” problem

The New Neo Posted on April 2, 2013 by neoOctober 1, 2015

They just won’t be called that any more.

After all, we wouldn’t want to offend anyone or hurt their feelings.

The article is a bit mum on what should replace the term, which is supposedly being jettisoned because it characterizes the people as illegal rather than their method of arrival in this country. And yet, strangely enough, NY Times public editor Margaret Sullivan says that that paper is thinking of substituting “undocumented” or “unauthorized” instead, which uses exactly the same grammatical device.

Make no mistake about it; this sort of thing may seem trivial but it matters. Words help shape attitudes. If we refuse to use the term “illegal,” it’s part of the process by which illegal immigration itself becomes no big whoop.

[ADDENDUM: In a comment somewhere I saw a suggestion for a new term to replace it the old one: future Democratic voter.]

Posted in Immigration, Language and grammar, Law, Press | 21 Replies

More on taking Obama seriously

The New Neo Posted on April 2, 2013 by neoDecember 5, 2013

Two days ago I wrote a post on why Obama should be taken seriously in which I said, among other things, that Obama is an “excellent, ruthless, and very smart politician.”

Many commenters disagreed, which has happened every time I’ve made such an assertion, and I’ve made it quite a few times.

Now, I can take disagreement; if I couldn’t, I’d better get out of the blogging biz. And of course I respect your right to disagree, yada yada yada. But I’m going to make another effort to convince those who disagree, or at least make an attempt to clarify a bit more about the reasons behind my assertions.

First, let’s look at one of the comments on that earlier thread (from commenter “Ann”):

I noted in that article you linked to that Emil Jones Jr., a Democratic mover and shaker in Illinois and one of the two people Palmer came in behind in that Congressional primary, became Obama’s mentor after Obama was elected to fill Palmer’s Illinois Senate seat. Which leads me to wonder if he had a hand in how Obama dealt with Palmer and how much of Obama’s subsequent political moves were influenced by Jones. Wikipedia says that he played a large part in Obama’s 2004 election as U.S. senator, for instance.

I do believe Obama is totally without scruples, but I’m loath to give him credit for anything more than average smarts, so I hope I’m not just grasping at straws here!

Ann presents a plausible theory, one of many variations on the “Obama’s nothing special; he’s more or less a puppet” theme.

I’ve read a great deal about Obama—not just his national political career or his early life, or even his schooling, but his early- and mid-adult career trajectory. A lot of this reading is a bit rusty, since I did it mostly in 2008, and some of the articles have (interestingly enough) disappeared, most particularly a long April 3, 2007 Chicago Tribune piece called “Obama knows his way around a ballot,” about Obama’s very first political primary, the one in which he showed his stuff by disqualifying Alice Palmer and three other candidates and ran unopposed. [UPDATE: The article appears in a PDF file here.]

The impression I get—and it’s a very strong one—is of a smart and ruthless guy who knows exactly what he wants to do, and who it is who will be able to best help him along the way. And yes, Democratic “operatives” assisted and advised him (although Emil Jones didn’t get into the act till later), but Obama was in charge.

Again, to clarify: when I say “smart,” I’m not talking about book-smart, although I think Obama has quite a fair amount of that sort of intelligence as well, nothing extraordinary but certainly enough to get through college and Harvard Law on his own steam (although his election as Law Review President was more of a popularity contest). And yes, as he himself has acknowledged, affirmative action was operating to give him a significant amount of help. But a person still has to meet some sort of minimal standard, and I believe Obama had no trouble doing that.

But that is not the same as saying he is especially gifted academically. Where I think Obama is extremely gifted is about politics, in particular propaganda and the use of his own persona to appeal to the public and to further his goals and those of his helpers and supporters. And yes, let me reiterate that he certainly did not do it alone; he has had helpers and supporters along the way, and almost certainly was long ago recognized by the left as their perfect instrument—and a not-unwilling one at that, being a leftist himself.

Many many people who met him way back then recognized his enormous political potential, almost on a visceral level—you either feel it or you don’t. One of the most interesting things about Obama’s early resume is how many people who met him would be struck almost immediately by the thought “this man could be the first black president!” Much of the time they mention (I don’t have a lot of cites, because I read most of this a long time ago) that they don’t even know why; something about his demeanor plus of course his race. The thought just seems to hit them like a bolt out of the blue.

David Brooks famously talked about his own version of it when he spoke as though he were enamored of the crease in Obama’s pants on first meeting him:

I remember distinctly an image of””we were sitting on his couches, and I was looking at his pant leg and his perfectly creased pant,” Brooks says, “and I’m thinking, a) he’s going to be president and b) he’ll be a very good president.”

This is bizarre, but it is also no accident; Obama knows that a little tailoring goes a long way. But I don’t think Brooks is that stupid, either; it wasn’t really the pants leg, although it helped. In the same piece, the fact that Brooks and Obama were talking about Edmund Burke is mentioned, and Brooks is quoted as later saying, “Obama sees himself as a Burkean,”

Why is that significant? Not because Obama is a Burkean, which I highly doubt, but because Brooks is. In a book I happen to own called Why I Turned Right, Brooks chronicles his own political journey from left to right (or semi-right, or middling, or pretend-right, or whatever Brooks is these days) and makes it clear that Burke was instrumental in Brooks’ own political change, and that he considers himself to be an “inner Burkean.”

So it wasn’t just about the pants crease, although that’s a particularly silly part of the Brooks infatuation with Obama. That vision was embedded in a larger conversation about Burke, one of the ways to Brooks’ heart.

How did Obama know this would be so? Perhaps he studied up on Brooks before the interview. Perhaps it was Brooks who brought up Burke. Whatever it was, Obama demonstrated enough knowledge or surface-knowledge on the subject of Burke to not only convince Brooks (who, whatever you think about him, has studied Burke in some depth) that Obama knew a lot about Burke but that he was himself a Burkean and therefore a kindred spirit with Brooks.

Why am I going into this in such exhaustive detail? It’s not because I think Brooks is so important. It’s because I think Brooks’ experience is probably typical, and it demonstrates several things. One is that Obama has enough intelligence to do this and do it well—whether it’s at the behest of others or his own idea. He has to be able to perform this way and impress his listener, and whether he studies up on each subject or not, and whether it’s his own idea to do so or not, he has to have the intelligence to pull it off and the ability to maintain his calm while doing so. The other is that the Brooks incident is highly unlikely to be unique; it’s a clue to how Obama works his magic. He has probably done a version of this thousands of times to thousands of people—or, rather, to many millions of people, if you count the general public. When he says he’s a “blank screen” on which people project what they want to see, he’s being misleading—he actually cleverly fills in that blank screen with what people want to see, an ever-shifting picture that fits what he perceives to be their desires and interests of the moment.

The late Tony Blankely saw this clearly quite early in the game. On the occasion of Obama’s first inauguration he wrote (and please do yourself a favor and read the entire essay):

President Obama is a beguiling but confounding figure. As he has said of himself: “I serve as a blank screen on which people of vastly different political stripes project their own views.” (”The Audacity of Hope.”) It is indeed audacious that he should proclaim this consciously disingenuous attribute. And, as one reads his inaugural address, it is hard not to conclude that it was shrewdly crafted to perpetuate such confusion.

Run-of-the-mill politicians try to hide their duplicity. Only the most gifted of that profession brag that they intend to confound and confuse the public. Such an effort is beyond ingenious – it is brazenly ingenuous.

These abilities are not ordinary, and they take intelligence, although it’s not necessarily the type of intelligence we want to see in our politicians.

But back to “Ann’s” comment and Emil Jones. Years ago I remember reading a lengthy article that described Obama’s early political career, and it mentioned that Jones was very impressed with what Obama had done during the Alice Palmer episode at the very beginning of that career—impressed, that is, with Obama’s boldness and ruthlessness and aggression. It reminded me of nothing so much as The Godfather stories (without the murders), in which the young Don Corleone wows and intimidates others in the mob early on by showing the extreme coldbloodedness of which he’s capable. And there’s never been any suggestion that Jones was behind that part of Obama’s life prior to that election, although he did become his mentor once Obama reached the legislature, and facilitated his political climb after that by directing legislation his way.

I don’t think this is the exact article, but it’s the closest I can find, and I recommend you read it if you haven’t already. A lot of it is about Obama’s early political career in Chicago, and shows what a strong and ruthless character he was from the start, and how many people he alienated along the way. There’s nothing in there that indicates to me that by the time he was running for president (and much earlier) he was not completely his own man. Yes, others saw in Obama an instrument to accomplish their own goals, too. But why do you think that was? It was because he brought his own very formidable political skills, ruthlessness, and savvy to the table. He made a single prominent political mistake, which was to run against Bobby Rush in 2000. But he learned from it, and has made very few since.

We do ourselves no favors underestimating Obama or the left. They are players in the game, and he is a player in the game rather than a puppet.

And let’s not get bogged down by words like “genius” and whether they’re appropriate. You might note that I don’t tend to use that word about Obama except when quoting others, or sometimes with scare quotes. But I don’t minimize Obama’s own capabilities, either. He’s a very gifted guy in a certain direction, one that has paid off for him, big time.

Posted in Obama, Politics | 78 Replies

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