Kids + dog
I often have reservations about YouTube videos that show kids, because there really can’t be any informed consent. Then again, they are often so adorable that I watch them.
Here’s a case in point. There’s something a bit exploitative as well as slightly cruel going on here, but the girls are so heartwarming I couldn’t help but like it. The younger one is all emotion, the older one all cold reason. Both mount very good arguments against what seems to them like the arbitrary meanness of their parents:
I don’t like the fact that those spoiled kids got their way by being cry babies.
Sorry, I find these two spoiled brats to be very annoying and remind me too much of the pu**y hat wearing feminist democrats and the tantrums they throw whenever they don’t get their way.
I’m with Dave on this: the kids got their way, and they learned a little bit more about how to manipulate their parents. And on top of it all, by the end of the week they’ll be complaining about having to clean up after him, take him out, let him in, etc. Crying is not cute. Pouting is not cute either. No thanks.
I think the older kid has a future in the legal professions. But they both mount good arguments, not just pouting!
And if you can’t pout at 3 or 4, when can you pout? Especially about a puppy? Sheesh.
I knew a lot of people wouldn’t like this video, though.
Dave:
These are actually children, not adults. One of them is very young.
And if you think this is a tantrum, then I have to say you ain’t seen too many tantrums. Tantrums are this times ten.
Emotional and rational.
I thought this would be another “sooo cute” video. Then, I thought. awesome mom and dad…. and sooo cute with a defensible apology. Well, almost. They should have got a firm commitment to caring for the puppy, in sickness, and in health, when all they want to do is have some fun, until death do them part, before revealing their reward.
There was a time when my parents announced that they would leave, but before they did, they handed me a packaged toy, and warned me that I could not play with it until they returned. An exercise in self-moderating, responsible behavior that has reaped immense rewards.
Dave;
And by the way, they didn’t get their way by being crybabies. The older one wasn’t crying much if at all. But the point is that the dog had already been taken away from the pound by the dad, who had every intention of giving it to them before this scene ever occurred. They knew that their tears didn’t make it happen; it had already happened, they just didn’t know it yet, but they found out.
I also find the older sister to be very manipulative in a very cold but contemptuous way by saying things like “I will never forget this day for the rest of my live”
Dave:
I didn’t get a dog as a child and I remembered it with sorrow for the rest of my life.
It was a true feeling, not coldly manipulative at all.
She will say the same thing the day she shares her life, not with a dog, but with a man, and the man will say: I do, too.
Got no prob with the kids…got 3 of ’em myself & that’s what they do. Get the sads when they are frustrated.
The parents…playing a hardcore emotional game with their kids…pretty rotten s==t if you ask me. Not cute at all.
I begged for a puppy for all the 20 years that I lived with my parents (who were dog lovers). The dog we had then was a stray that my parents adopted before I was born. I loved him, but he wasn’t a puppy. As a child, my husband was told he was allergic to dogs and so he never had one. I married him anyway.
As it turned out, he wasn’t allergic to dogs. Happily, we have had nine dogs during our marriage, seven of which were puppies.
Neo, it’s never too late. We adopted our last puppy when I was in my late 60’s. It will keep you young.
John Guilfoyle:
I dislike what the parents are doing here.
Susanamantha:
I got a dog as an adult, when my son was young. The dog lived till 14. Great dog.
Whew! I was feeling so bad for you. I repeat, it’s not too late.
Boy, I was lucky. I was surrounded by dogs, a rabbit, and later steers. I got my first cat at about 12, who then gave me a litter of kittens. I named the 6 puppies my dad’s beagle had after rock songs and made dad do a serious vetting of potential owners before he could give them away. I always liked animals better than dolls. Maybe that’s why I hated pink dresses.
First, the parents were manipulating the kids, why else would they film this episode? Secondly, a real tantrum is a total meltdown, this was not. Third, good parenting allows the tantrum to end in exhaustion. Don’t say a word and leave the room. It never took more than 1 tantrum for our kids to learn that throwing a hissy fit was never going to get them what they want.
Beautiful cute kids, remind me of my grandkids and having said that I think the parents messing with their emotions over the situation of getting a dog really is sick. Teach kids that they can’t rely on their parents word.
Next, as stated above by n.n., there should have been a serious discussion with the girls before they went to look for a dog about responsibilities of caring for a new dog in the family and fitting the dog into the family.
I am a dog guy, have an old Brittany sitting at my feet right now and dogs deserve a good home and a good family. The first few days in the new home can set the rules for the dog’s behavior and expectations for the rest of its life. Insure the dog feels safe, let it know its place in the pecking order, below the youngest child and don’t baby talk and act nuts, use clear short words for food, going outdoors, coming when called and sitting still in one place and all that good stuff.
I know that dogs are the one creature beside us people folks that goes the heaven. Don’t know why but I know that.
Susanamantha, most every Christmas the only gift I requested was a dog. I never got one. My parents were fairly no nonsense and strict. They had no desire to own a dog and never showed any sign of remorse or guilt that it conflicted with the greatest dream of my young life.
One year a friend of my sister gave her a puppy for Christmas. I was probably about 13 years old. My parents immediately told my sister she could not keep it, but we asked them if we could have a week to try to find a friend to take it, so we could at least visit the puppy as it grew. My folks acquiesced. My sister was in High School and working as a waitress. Since it was Christmas break from school she took a ton of hours to maximize her income and I was primarily left caring for the puppy as we tried to find it a home. My sister and I were fairly responsible in all other areas of our lives, and I did a great job with the puppy during that week. It was never any bother to my parents and it was an incredibly cute, fun and seemingly intelligent dog. I had it paper trained within a few days and it and I were inseparable for those seven days.
On day eight my mother asked if we had found a home with anyone we knew and I told her we were unsuccessful (my sister was at work). My mother told me to get in the car with the dog and drove us to the pound, where I had to unemotionally hand it over. I knew my parents and I knew there was nothing more I could say or do on the subject. I had done a very convincing and sincere job of showing that I could care for a dog and it would be no bother to them, but they were obviously not interested.
A few days later I was in a store and noticed a large, plastic dog bowl with Charles Schulz cartoons of Snoopy drawn around the side. I bought it and every morning for as long as I lived in that house I ate my breakfast cereal out of that bowl. I never said a word about the dog to my parents, nor did they to me, nor would they have tolerated my questioning their decision. But I did make sure they saw that dog bowl every morning when they passed me at the table.
I only made it about 30 seconds in. Not sure how it ended up, but I wasn’t entertained by what I saw. Primarily, I don’t understand why grown adults would share such a private moment with the world. From what I read here in the comments about what the parents were doing I can maybe understand recording it to show close family members; grandparents, aunts, uncles… But why share it with millions of people you don’t know? I know this has become common, but being commonplace doesn’t make it any less odd.
And did the parents write the captions? Even more off-putting. Maybe a frustrated stage mom or dad thinks they’re going to use their kids for internet fame and fortune? How long until Dad builds a balloon shaped like a flying saucer and it “accidentally” launches when one of the girls is unaccounted for?
Our first instinct is to argue with appeals to emotion. How did you teach a child to argue rationally? Did it happen spontaneously or was it learned?
Hi Neo
I’ve walked away from this video & thread a couple of times…went for a fairly hard ride on my bike & wrote a “thousands of words” part II to what I wrote earlier.
I decided to cut to the chase…I find what that mom is doing to be viscerally repulsive. She is clearly deriving pleasure making her kids cry. What the hell is up with that?
So…I’m going to ask a favour I have no right to ask & go perhaps beyond the limits of your expansive graciousness…I’ll apologise up front if I cross a line.
Can you please turn that video into a hyperlink instead of an imbedded thing? I find it hard to look at that little girl’s crying face knowing her mom is doing that intentionally & thinks it’s cute.
So…if it’s ok for you to make that go away…you have my inexhaustible gratitude. If not…I’ll move on for a few days until that slides farther down the chain. I work too closely with too many hurt people…Thanks.
Rufus:
Wow, that’s quite a story.
Some children remember. Adults often don’t think they will, but some kids really, really do.
John Guilfoyle:
Sorry to have upset you! I dislike the parents’ behavior, as well, but the child seemed to recover nicely. I don’t like parents tricking children. I always presented Santa as a pretend thing to my son for that reason.
However, I am on the road today and am unable to change the video to a link. Sorry!
I observe two things happening. One, a controlled emotional release. Two, a segue to rational argument. This is Nature’s progression, from emotional appeals to rational argument. It may be possible to short circuit, but there may be developmental costs. It is necessary for people to struggle in order to establish themselves individually. For example, work through that hard math problem in order to understand how your brain functions and optimize that process through repeated sessions.
The first step was complete. The girls released the enormous potential energy in their emotional reserves. However, the second was incomplete. The second step should be transactional. The girls want a dog. Mom and dad may or may not. They compromise out of, for example, love. The second step should be a review (i.e. teaching) of expectations and commitments. This is a contract between parents and children for guardianship of the dog, a living creature, along with all the foibles that entails. This is the way the external world, the real world works.
No worries. Thanks anyway.
See you Tuesday…or that’d be your Monday. 😉
Cute kids who I don’t see a manipulative, but expressing their feelings. (Children are mostly feelings and one of the objects in life should be to help them identify what they feel, why they feel what they do, and is the why a good why.)
I paused as to why the video was made, but I’ll give the parents the benefit of the doubt in that they wanted to have a record of their children getting their first dog, something to look back on and tease them with.
The kids are being manipulative? Is that what some of you are saying?
How about the parents being manipulative? I think they are far worse than the kids because the kids, after all, are just kids. The parents are emotionally manipulating the kids for the sake of a video.
I am kind of bothered by that – and no I didn’t watch it all the way through.
It’s the mother, father being a beta male with traditional parental gender roles reversed. She’s the one the children must appeal too, while the father nurture/soothes by suddenly appearing with the puppy.
And it’s a form of emotional blackmail by the mother. Now the children owe her and never shall they forget this days lesson.
Nor is the mother aware of what she’s revealed about herself.
And while the father may or may not be aware, clearly he’s not about to challenge her on it.
Which means that, should that family ever need defending from a threat, he won’t have the assertiveness to stand in the breach.
I’m totally with John Guilfoyle — that what that mom did was “viscerally repulsive”. How could she possibly think it was in any way necessary, or, God forbid, cute, to put her little girls through that emotional trauma as a prelude to surprising them with the puppy? Sadistic, really.
The kids are instinctively using an appeal to emotion to argue for their position. The mother is guiding a natural evolution from emotional to rational arguments (or rather a synthesis) in a controlled environment. This happens in different forms (e.g. homework) in different spaces (e.g. school). Most people will develop emotional maturity, become productive members of society, and competent, respectful partners in relationships (e.g. couples).
neo-neocon Says: June 28th, 2018 at 3:25 pm
Dave: These are actually children, not adults. One of them is very young.
yeah…
but children are only children today…
we crippled them…
David Glasgow Farragut
a flag officer of the United States Navy during the American Civil War. He was the first rear admiral, vice admiral, and admiral in the United States Navy.
He is remembered for his order at the Battle of Mobile Bay usually paraphrased as “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead” in U.S. Navy tradition
David Farragut’s naval career began as a midshipman when he was nine years old, and continued for 60 years until his death at the age of 69.
Through the influence of his foster father, Farragut was commissioned a midshipman in the United States Navy on December 17, 1810, at the age of nine
A prize master by the age of 12, Farragut fought in the War of 1812, serving under Captain Porter, his foster father. While serving aboard USS Essex
Farragut was 12 years old when, during the War of 1812, he was given the assignment to bring a ship captured by the Essex safely to port [his first military commission]
born July 5, 1801
December 17, 1810, appointed midshipman. [9 years old]
1812, assigned to the USS Essex. [11 years old]
1815–1817, served in the Mediterranean Sea aboard the Independence and the Macedonian. [12 years old]
1818, studied ashore for nine months at Tunis. [17 years old]
1819, served as a lieutenant on the USS Shark. [18 years old]
it wasnt till modern times we got into the kinder idea
The idea that childhood is socially constructed refers to the understanding that childhood is not natural process rather it is society which decides when a child is a child and when a child becomes an adult. The notion of childhood cannot be seen in isolation. It is deeply intertwined with other factors in society.
and the left has been extending it, and crippling society with it as our IQ has been going down (bad births over good ones due to social games), our abilities are in decline to be equal with others that lack abilities… and more
The Social Construction of Chilhoood
https://revisesociology.com/2015/05/06/social-construction-of-childhood/
However, despite broad agreement on the above, what people mean by childhood and the position children occupy is not fixed but differs across times, places and cultures. There is considerable variation in what people in different societies think about the place of children in society, about what children should and shouldn’t be doing at certain ages, about how children should be socialised, and about the age at which they should be regarded as adults.
After some reflection, I think the poor dog is in for a rough time if mom keeps using it as a…
Well, what is the term for this? She seems to enjoy teasing (insert stronger word here. Tormenting?) her children. Is the poor dog going to suddenly ‘run away’ someday so mom can get her giggles for a while?
SPCA? Hello, SPCA???
How utterly adorable!
Why did the mother insist on this charade? At the beginning I wondered why they went to the shelter if she was now saying they weren’t ready for a puppy. Yes, I was upset about that. If you have a loving, joyful experience planned for your children, then why layer it with cruelty? Is it not enough to have nice, private family moments or experiences that we have to frame them as clickbait?
Those girls are too young to be expected to assume for all the care of that puppy, but they may grow into it. Given this video I don’t have much confidence that they will be trained lovingly.
Okay, this doesn’t have much relevance, but here’s my puppy story.
I was about 14, and Christmas was coming up. My Dad and I, and (as I recall) one sister and one brother, picked out a puppy.
Then for about two days I pretended to be sick, so I’d have an excuse to stay in my room – with the puppy. On occasion, my sister or brother would spell me so I could come downstairs and eat.
The point of all that ? We had two even younger siblings, one brother and a sister… and we kept them completely in the dark about the puppy until Christmas morning.
I don’t know what everyone is getting so worked up about. I see a couple of parents teaching their children a valuable life lesson about deferred gratification. They can’t have what they want right this minute. They have to wait a few minutes. Hopefully, the interval will become longer as the kids get older. The children will be better off for it.
If YouTube and GoPro cams had been available back in the 1960s and ’70s when I was growing up you would have seen videos of my parents treating me exactly the same way. The best my parents could do was buy a house in a good area and put food on the table. And the table consisted of a sheet of plywood on top of produce crates with other produce crates we used as other types of furniture. It was the best he could do on a Coast Guard Senior Chief’s salary at the time.
We really didn’t belong in that neighborhood. I saw what other people who lived there had, and I whined about how we didn’t have the same things. I am so lucky that the internet didn’t exist. I was basically insulting my parents.
After we could afford furniture, and after my parents could afford to put my brothers and sister and I in Catholic school, then we got the dog. That’s how it works.
I don’t have a problem with anything in that video.
I remember the day my mom got her first brand new car. It was a base model 1966 Plymouth Valiant. The only “luxury” item was that it came with an automatic transmission. She cried. Even though I was only four it began to dawn on me that if she had to wait so long for her first new car maybe I shouldn’t whine about me not getting what I want RIGHT NOW!
Not like I have a great deal of memory about it. It’s more like fragments. I just remember being at the dealership when they drove it out for her to pick up. And her crying.