The Wainwright divorce chronicles
It isn’t so often that you get two singer-songwriters who marry and then divorce, and who both write songs about it.
Two offerings in this genre are from Loudon Wainwright III and Kate McGarrigle, who were married for a few years back in the 1970s. This article chronicles some of their turbulent history, as well as that of two of their musically talented children, Rufus Wainwright and Martha Wainwright, who have taken up not only the family business but the family tendency to write revealing songs about—the family.
Patriarch Loudon’s (although he doesn’t exactly live up to the “patriarch” role in the traditional sense) father was a well-known writer from a patrician family, who divorced the singer’s mother fairly early on. Wainwright III is a very odd commodity, and something of an acquired taste that not everyone acquires. But I liked him from the moment I first heard him, and find him an intriguing combination of biting humor, biting sarcasm, and biting sorrow. Here you see him mostly in the latter (sorrow) mode, and note that he doesn’t spare himself or evade blame:
Here is his ex-wife some years earlier, singing on roughly the same subject—their divorce. Poignant:
And here’s much more about the relationship and the divorce of these two complex, gifted people. This quote is from their daughter:
Sometimes, the Loudon records would emerge from the vinyl stacks. “Kate would pull them out very late at night,” Martha says, “and she’d listen to two or three of the songs and cry.” Did it seem, to young Martha, that her mother was still in love with him? “Yes,” Martha says. “Very much. Not in love with him. In anger with him. In a good way. In something with him. In wanting to have had more with him, with the father of her children.”
There are many YouTube videos of the children singing with their father, and although they seem to have reconciled there’s an edge. But with Loudon Wainwright III, there’s always an edge. Here’s son Rufus—whose fame has eclipsed his father’s, but whose style I’m not really into—taking on the subject of his father and leave-taking. I don’t doubt for a moment that it was an intense experience to have been the child (or spouse) of the old man:
Sadly, McGarrigle died in 2010.
I’m only interested in the music, not the private lives of the musicians. I remember liking Loudon Wainwright III when he first appeared, when I was young, but it didn’t stick. I had one album and must have sold it. I have no memory of listening to it repeatedly. One trick pony, I think.
I liked the McGarrigle sisters and had two albums by them I listened to frequently… for a while. Pop music has an appeal that is meant to be used up, consumed.
I actually have 2 CDs by Rufus Wainwright, which I listen to very occasionally for the sake of novelty, as a change-up, not exactly a palate cleanser but when I feel like hearing something unlike anything else I usually hear. The flamingly gay sensibility is okay, once in a while. The pose of being too sensitive to live.
We still listen to the first 3 McGarrigle records fairly often. Dark, haunting, heart breaking, witty songs that stand our test of time. Wainwright’s music never interested me.
Linda Ronstadt’s 1975 album Prisoner in Disguise contained a lovely song co-written by Anna McGarrigle that has always been a favorite of mine. The lyrics were by McGarrigle, Carol Holland wrote the melody. It features a harmony vocal by Maria Muldaur. It all comes together seamlessly on this one – a great song, two wonderful singers, a calm and tasteful arrangement. I always enjoyed this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giU6iaV-so0
All I remember hearing is Dead Skunk In The Middle Of The Road, though I likely heard at least one more. (Thanks, Dr. Demento!)
Im not seeing what this has to do with Donald Trump.
This is a pet peeve of mine and my sympathy for self-involved, absent parents is, at best minuscule. I can’t abide excuse making for abominable behavior that selfishly trashes the innocents that have been placed in our care.
Loudon Wainwright III… modestly talented and gifted perhaps but I’ll take his daughter’s assessment of his character; “Bloody Motherfucking Asshole”.
This is a man who essentially abandoned his baby and three year old child. Who was evidently an emotionally distant sperm donor.
We all have ‘issues’ and ‘demons’ and regardless of the quality of the parenting we experienced, as adults we have the choice to at least try or wallow in self-pity. Wainwright may have tried for a time in the five years he was married to Kate McGarrigle but based upon his children’s assessment, he sure didn’t try with them.
Wainwright evidently is honest about his failings as a man and parent but that was cold comfort to his children.
I too don’t doubt for a moment that it was an
intenseemotionally devastating experience to have been the child (or spouse) of Loudon Wainwright III. And not all the talent, and self recrimination in the world… performed as ‘redemptive art’, can atone for that failure.Some people are just pieces of sh*t and ‘talent’ does not balance that scale.
The link to the article doesn’t work for me, and I can’t seem to find it with a search. Hmm.
I have Flash disabled in this browser, so I don’t know which songs those are. LWIII is not one of my big favorites, but I do enjoy him when I hear him. A friend gave me History, and I like it quite well. Looking at the AllMusic entry now, I see they call it the best album of his career.
Rufus is quite a singer but I don’t think his music is much to my taste, the big gay sensibility and all. Sad to me to hear the early LW album where Rufus is mentioned as a baby.
Martha interests me. I should seek out more of her music. They both participated in some kind of tribute concert a while back and were very impressive. Tribute to Leonard Cohen, maybe? Now there’s one of my favorites.
This does sound like an awfully sad story. Like so many. Sigh. (The article link is definitely not working btw.)
Mrs Whatsit; Mac:
The link doesn’t seem to work.
It’s another example of some research I did a little while ago and took notes on, but by the time I wrote the article (today) and published it the link has died, seemingly for good.
Ah, well.
Dead links usually happen unintentionally. On the other hand, the mainstream media has long been in the habit of covering up its errors and biases by removing or altering stories that have attracted too much criticism.
The story on Loudon Wainwright III is, of course, an innocent case of link rot.
For either kind of bad link, the original page can often be retrieved by copying the URL into the “Wayback Machine” at “The Internet Archive.” That’s at archive.org.
Here’s a link to the archived story:
https://web.archive.org/web/20100923194930/http://culturemagazine.ca/music/badass_dad_loudon_wainwright_iii.html
As it happens, I never liked his music. But maybe there’s someone here who’d like to read the story, so I’m passing on the link and the method.
Cornflour, thanks for the link and the information. I wanted to read the article because my family has some distant connections with the Wainwright family; we lived near each other and have mutual friends. But that article was just sad. Too much brokenness and bitterness. I wonder if making music all your life is worth it if that’s all you have and you’ve hurt so many others along the way.