The return of the scutie
Last night while I was talking on the phone, I idly looked up towards a lighting fixture and noticed with horror that It Was Back.
The scutie, that is, my revolting house guest from last year (follow the link for a photo; I refuse to publish it again). My phone companion helpfully suggested it might have been the very same one I escorted out in a cup last year and released into the wild. But if so, it’s had a terrible year, worse even than Obama: although still quite large, this one was significantly smaller than the previous enormous Scutigera coleoptrata (common house centipede) that had chosen to enter my humble abode.
This one, however, received the same treatment as before: catch and release. Why did I not kill the scutie, you might ask? Same reason as last year. There are limits to the size of the creatures I will voluntarily crush, and the scutie exceeds that limit by a significant amount. It’s hard to say exactly where I draw the line, but if something will squish and ooze in significant fashion rather than a simple neat and unitary splat, the impulse to crush seems to depart from me.
You may notice, however, that last night I bravely dealt with the scutie by myself. Oh, I’m not averse to asking the resident male to take over, if there happens to be a resident male around. But when none’s in sight, I step up to the plate and take my bugs outside like the trouper I am.
And then I write about it.
Unfortunately, our house has these “guests” with regularity. I find that a doubled-up paper towel masks the resultant squishiness quite well. If I knew how to exterminate these beasties permanently, I’d let you know as well.
I have no problem killing centipede’s, but crickets are another issue entirely.
Back in the late 90’s, North Texas had a cricket infestation the likes of which I had never seen. I worked for a graphite manufacturer who was building a structure about the size of a football field during this time. I walked in one morning to find the entire football-field-sized concrete floor completely covered with crickets; the floor moved as if it was alive. As I walked across the floor, I felt and heard the crunch of each and every one of those disgusting creatures. When they died, the stench was horrifically sickly-sweet. I cringe to even think of it. Sometime, I’ll tell about putting on my workboots with two crickets in one of them. Yuck.
I’m surprised New England hasn’t already had a good hard freeze to wipe those buggers out for the season. Or maybe he was seeking shelter in your home because his instincts told him a really hard freeze is coming.
Flyswatters. In every room. Followed by paper towels to clean up the mess.
I get them constantly in summer and fall; less so in spring. I seldom see them in cold weather, which is why winter has become my favorite season. That and not having to do yard work.
neo, the definition of courage is doing what’s required in unpleasant circs. Clearly, you are a courageous individual.
Ugh. When I first moved to NYC I lived in a basement in the Bronx, and these things were all over the place – I never did find out what they were, so you’ve just dispelled one of the great mysteries of my life.
One day it rained and my apartment – that is, the basement – flooded, and these little disgusting things would zoom across the water like they were on jet-skis.
But let me assure you – if you need assurance – that this bug, the Scutie, is nothing compare to a real centipede. I now live in California, in the Inland Empire, on the bottom floor of an apartment building with a balcony and some dirt around the outside with flowers and bushes. One day about a year ago, I was getting some water at about 3 AM, and something caught my eye near the refrigerator –
My God… what I saw still haunts my dreams. It was this huge, green-brown, pleated – armored thing with two curled fangs on its tail, huge swiveling legs, and a body that moved FAST and slithered like a garden snake.
I honestly shrieked like a little girl and almost fainted – and it was worse, because it was one of those deals where I was terrified that when I shrieked there barely any sound – not a bang, but a whimper, if you get me.
But the creature was charging fast toward the fridge, and I knew I had to do something to prevent it from finding sanctuary and maybe producing some demon spawn. It definitely fell into the “too big to squash” class, so I soldiered quickly into the cabinet below the sink, grabbed some Raid, and doused that hideous beast in a waterfall of toxins.
So I create this little pool of Raid, and lo and behold, the evil fiend just swims in it – if anyone’s ever seen a snake in water, that’s exactly how it looked. It just swam at light speed and shot under the fridge (where I assume it died).
To this day, I still reflexively turn my head to check the spot where I saw it almost every time I enter the kitchen.
Hands-down, that centipede is the most disgusting-looking being I have ever seen, in reality, in movies, anywhere.
I can see giving Scutie a nickname and carrying it outside courageously; but when it comes to the Original Gangster, the full-on wild beast centipede, I feel like Verbal Kint did about Keyser Soze:
“It was the devil himself… What if I missed?”
*shudder* *shudder* *shudder*
I *hate* bugs. *Especially* big ones.
We have nice big spiders here. Every year. I thought they were bad, but…after seeing the picture of the scutie you posted, neo, I think I’ll stick with the spiders, thanks.
I’m not averse to asking the resident male to take over, if there happens to be a resident male around. But when none’s in sight, I step up to the plate
Ditto.
Although my “squashing” line is drawn through mice. Anything smaller than that I’ll smash myself, if with assistance of whatever I can find as a tool…
Think of it from the bug’s point of view. Scutie Jr. (or III) heard these wild legends of his ancestors surviving an encounter with a huge monster and just had to see for himself. Whole mythologies in the Annals of Scutiedom feature you, Neo! There are movies and lunchboxes and action figures!
@Kolnai – That was one of the funniest stories I’ve heard in a long time. Not with a bang, but a whimper, LOL!
Nothing a little DDT could not handle.
OhhhKAY, that’s the sort of bug that has me reflexively shuddering long after I’ve looked at the photo of it.
I totally agree with your philosophy vis a vis hand to hand bug combat: “…if something will squish and ooze in significant fashion rather than a simple neat and unitary splat, the impulse to crush seems to depart from me.”
When it comes to spiders (we get freakishly big crab spiders from time to time) if it’s too big to squish without sound, then the canister vacuum and LONG hose is deployed. After which, either Husband or Eldest Son must empty the vacuum bag.
fill a spray bottle or soap squeeze bottle with Ammonia. Spray or squeeze upon bug: bug dead.
Works on big roaches: I once had a big German roach crawling in a Styrofoam cup; I filled the cup with Raid but the roach kept going strong; squirted ammonia into cup: instant death.
*kolnai,
and they say “if you made it in NYC, you made it everywhere”!
Hands-down, that centipede is the most disgusting-looking being I have ever seen, in reality, in movies, anywhere.
I’ve seen worse. I freakin’ hate scorpions. I remember running into them every once in a while as child growing up in Arizona. And the bad thing about them, the smaller the scorpion the toxic the venom. At least it seems that way.
But let me assure you – if you need assurance – that this bug, the Scutie, is nothing compare to a real centipede.
funny… but TINY..
Come to my wifes country, and i will show you spiders whose span is measured in inches, and webs measured in feet…
stick bugs over a foot long..
and one of the more interesting inhabitants of eden (an eden where everything is out to kill you if your not careful), is a very large centipede…
the LARGEST is in southamerica
Scolopendra gigantea, also known as the Amazonian giant centipede, is the largest existing species of centipede in the world, reaching over 30 cm (12 in) in length. It is known to eat lizards, frogs, birds, mice, and even bats, catching them in midflight, as well as rodents and spiders.
the Scolopendra can be in the amazon, indochina, and other asian areas as well… Scolopendra subspinipes is in vietnam, gigantea is in the amazon….
and Scolopendra heros is around california.. but its a tiny 6.5 inches.. 🙂
personally when i was trucking through the jungle the foot long centipedes were the least of my worries… various cobra and other snakes are more a problem, though i didnt see them… NASTY ants are another, many akin to fire ants. i guess the most dangerous, for me, would be the Orangutans (forest people), as i kept coming across territorial droppings, and really didnt want to bump into the owners.
Let me just clarify that I’m not talking about the danger of the thing, just its gross-out factor. I ran into some scorpions when I was in Mexico, and they scared the crap out of me – like the water, incidentally – but I didn’t find them particularly disgusting.
Likewise for snakes and spiders – I’m from Florida, right on a lake where I regularly see water moccasins surfing at high speed with their heads poking out a foot above the water. And there’s big old wood spiders the size of my hand constantly finding their way RIGHT onto a lightswitch; or crawling onto my head when I’m sitting on the couch innocently trying to watch Tom and Jerry.
But still, none of them creep me out like the simple cockroach. I can squash a spider. I can get out of the way of a moccasin without getting chills up my spine. But when I see a roach – and it’s daily in Florida – I still cringe and turn into an eight year old girl: “EEEK! A ROACH!!,” and then I jump on a table and tap-dance nervously.
With respect the centipede, I can’t explain it – it just has all this equipage drooling out everywhere, and it slithers like a moving piece of snot, while still having apparently hard armor, and those god-forsaken killer fangs on its posterior. When it moves, it just screams, “I am your worst nightmare.” It combines the worst of snakes, spiders, scorpions, and cockroaches.
I think the existence of centipedes is the most compelling argument for atheism. Forget all that Dawkins/Hitchens/Harris crap. Centipedes, man. Centipedes.
QED. 🙂
I think the existence of centipedes is the most compelling argument for atheism.
Word.
I’ve lived in Florida many years now and critters of all kinds come and go all year long and they don’t bother me anymore, but the first time I saw a Palmetto bug I was sure hell had opened up. Now that we’re well acquainted I can assure you that they must be the dumbest bug there is. From the moment they enter the room it is only minutes before they climb on me, or better yet fly in my face, and then its pure slapstick before I get him, and if I don’t, sure enough he’ll try again.
And there’s big old wood spiders the size of my hand constantly finding their way RIGHT onto a lightswitch; or crawling onto my head when I’m sitting on the couch innocently trying to watch Tom and Jerry.
{crosses Florida off list}
There once was a Neocon cutie
Who encountered a long-legged scutie
She dispatched with a jar
Then went straight to the bar
Where she ordered a double martuni
My roommate for my freshman year at college was from the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I found out my rural attitudes towards insects were not the same as his.
One warm day a horsefly got into our room – not an improbable event considering that our windows had no screens. While I didn’t like horseflies flying around me, the remedy was fast. Swat it- with two hand if needs be. My roommate from Manhattan freaked out over the horsefly. You would have thought an alligator was in the room from his histrionics. Without the insects, he was a level-headed guy.
My cousin in Montana tells me that while Montana may get cold in the winter, she will take the cold over the cockroaches that we get in TX. Speaking of Montana, here are some good photos of storms in Montana.
The “squash threshold” discussion just reminded me of something:
When I was in college my dorm was infested with cockroaches. They were the small German roaches, and we more or less got used to them. Six-legged bugs have never bothered me too much, unless they bite or sting. Cockroaches do neither.
Anyway, the time eventually came to leave and move back to my parents’ house. We never had cockroaches at home, so when I packed my stuff, I scrupulously cleaned, inspected, and shook out everything. I packed my clothing in plastic trash bags.
About a week after I got back home, I went into the kitchen late at night. I turned on the light and saw a roach dart across the floor.
I stepped on it with my bare foot, and I didn’t hesitate for a nanosecond. I did NOT want them setting up shop in my house. Luckily, that was the only one I ever saw.
Once in a while we’ll get a scorpion in the house (on a mountain above Napa Valley)– not unusual for them to be 8 cm in length.
I never crush them–I try to get them outside alive and in one piece, an effort which takes me close o the outer limits of my “courage”!
🙂
Jamie Irons
Oh, by the way, Neo: Scuties are mostly legs. Their bodies are fairly small by comparison, so they don’t make too much of a mess when you swat them.
The creepy part is that several legs will detach, and keep on twitching for awhile.
We have a ton of them around here (they seem to be particularly bad in Tennessee), we normally just leave them alone. However the cats seem to like to chase them.
They don’t really hurt anything and they eat other worse insects (in terms of health – not necessarily creepyness).
Plenty of bugs where I live, the same “paradise” that Artfldgr’s wife hails from. Fortunately hi-rise apartment living, coupled with regularly scheduled visits from the exterminator, spare me from the worst infestations. The occasional ant is all I have to deal with. If I lived in a ground-level house, the way most Indonesians and many other expats do, it would be a very different story. Six-to-12 inch centipedes are par for for the course, as are rats, cockroaches, dengue-carrying mosquitoes, and God knows what else. Speaking of par, I did see a six-foot cobra on the golf course the other day. Not on the course itself, but in the outdoor restaurant where our group was enjoying the post-golf lunch. We saw it slithering through the bushes at the base of a tree about a few yards away from me. Snakes generally don’t bother me, but that was close enough to be a bit disconcerting. And the waiters charged with watching it until the “snake wrangler” arrived really looked like they’d rather be doing something–anything–else.
I have not had to deal with much worse than silverfish where I am. And katydids due to the giant tree right outside.
For a while I had a hornet’s nest inside my window frame. Some raid and spray-foam insulation took care of that.
I have about 3-4 different kinds of raid – different kinds for different bugs. I have also discovered that Windex will not kill spiders, but Oust will.
So my approach is
a) chemicals
b) stick thing like a broom
c) vacuum cleaner
But far and away the best way to get rid of bugs is a good well-sealed up building. Caulking, foam, tyvek, rubber door seals, vinyl windows, and screened vents.
helvetica:
But far and away the best way to get rid of bugs is a good well-sealed up building. Caulking, foam, tyvek, rubber door seals, vinyl windows, and screened vents.
I agree wholeheartedly, and I’ve made significant improvements in the last couple of years. But the f*ckers still keep getting in, and I wish I could figure out how.
You might be glad that you don’t live in a mad scientist’s castle. (Story continues on next page.)
Creepy crawlies bring out the fierce warrior in me. I swat flies, squash spiders and co, Raid ants, and pour salt on snails in my herb garden. On the other hand, my husband has to dispose of Kamikazi birds that attack my windows. I don’t do feathers. Fortunately I’ve never had to deal with roaches personally, although I did live in an old apartment that was regulary visited by an exterinator. They are gross.
Last night after I turned off my computer to get ready for bed, guess what greeted me when I turned on my bedroom light? Yup.
Luckily it was right in the middle of the wall, not in a corner, so it made an easy target for my flyswatter. THWACK!
rickl,
Some frequently overlooked entryways are, plumbing entrances/exits/vents, electrical wire holes, flashings, floor penetrations, and HVAC ducts. If you have an unsealed attic, and you cut a hole for a lighting fixture, bingo a new entrance.
our desert centipedes lack the long legs of the Mexican house centipede you show, but they make up for it in thickness, length and attitude. luckily for them, we also deal occasionally with camel spiders (vinegaroons) around here, which make pretty much every other creature on the planet bearable by comparison
Wry Mouth:
Are you in Iraq? I’ve seen pictures of camel spiders, and that’s about as close as I ever want to get to them.
waltj, you forgot lizards… 🙂
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