So, why am I renewing my passport?
That question was asked in yesterday’s thread about the stapler.
So I’ll answer.
No, I’m not planning to become an expat.
The truth is that my passport expired a while ago and I always like to keep it current even if I don’t have travel plans. It can be used for an impromptu trip to Canada, for example, and once in a blue moon I’ve done that. It helps with any kind of international travel to keep it at the ready, because there can be quite a wait to renew a passport and quite a surcharge if you want to expedite the process.
But it’s also the case that for about three years I’ve had a short trip to Europe planned for this summer. The plan was to travel there with my ex-husband for a certain event. Back when I first planned this, his Parkinson’s wasn’t so very bad, and although it got worse over the years I still thought we could do it.
I was wrong, of course. I did get “cancel for any reason” insurance, which is quite pricy, because I worried about his health. Now, with his death, I can activate that insurance (for our particular trip, even if someone dies you don’t necessarily get a refund unless you have insurance – and of course even with insurance the insurance payment is non-refundable).
I probably could also go on the trip with someone else, but that’s tricky. It has to be a person who is healthy enough (most of my friends are not), who wants to go, and with whom I get along well enough to share a room. And I don’t know if I still even want to go, although I suppose I should.
Needless to say, the whole thing is part of what makes me very very sad these days. Very.
Speaking of which – yesterday I made a doctor’s appointment and when I was done the person on the line asked me if my ex-husband was still my emergency contact. I just about burst into tears at the unexpected question. I had to answer that no, he died. She said she was sorry and asked me if I had a replacement. I couldn’t think of a single local one, so I gave my son’s name. He lives extremely far away.
I’m sorry you are sad
I hope sending you prayers is ok
Neo, I feel your pain. When my beloved passed two weeks ago, I was struggling to rethink my will’s beneficiaries. I guess it will be a couple of charities we have supported. And my emergency contact? I hesitate to identify anybody suitable except possibly one relative a thousand miles away. A time of grieving is stressful enough, these other decisions may have to be put off.
I hope you can find someone to travel with Neo. I still enjoy my trips to Europe despite some mishaps along the way. You deserve to have something to look forward to.
These are tough years.
Also, a passport book or card is a superior ID vs a REAL ID drivers license or tribal ID card, because:
• Proves U.S. Citizenship: A driver’s license only proves your identity and your legal right to drive; it does not legally prove U.S. citizenship. A passport is an official federal attestation of your U.S. citizenship.
• Global and Universal Acceptance: A passport book allows for international travel worldwide and meets or exceeds every standard required for domestic flights, federal buildings, and TSA checkpoints.
• Longer Validity: Adult U.S. passports are valid for 10 years, whereas most state-issued driver’s licenses or state IDs expire every 4 to 8 years.
• Consistent Federal Standards: Passport rules, issuance, and background requirements are uniform nationwide, avoiding the varied state-by-state rules and DMV bottlenecks associated with state IDs.
Neo,
If you.do go, your path will be easy by your own efforts. I wish you.well!
Neo, yes you should go on the trip. It is something you and your ex planned, you will remember him in this way. After my Wife died in July,2025, I took a trip in Nov to France and Germany, with a side trip to Poland. This was a trip we were going to take but her cancer came back. Later on in Feb I did a cruise that ended in Korea. She always wanted to go there. It was close to a trip we also planning to do. I had my Wife me in Korea, she got to go.
While the trips were bitter sweet, I did them because they were something we had planned on doing together. I thought of her every day.
I’m sorry for your loss and isolation.
At some point – not in a hurry – maybe you need to consider moving closer to relatives.
Jon baker:
Thanks.
I actually have very few relatives, and they are geographically very spread out. My son – I’d be most inclined to move near him – is very far away and lives in a place that is mega-expensive compared to where I live. It would also mean I’d be leaving the few friends I do have in my area.
It’s quite a dilemma. I will have to make decisions in a while, though, and I really don’t know what to do.
I had a very expired passport & went through the long renewal about 4.5 years ago and haven’t used it yet. I took my first trip off the continent early this year, but it was to Hawaii.
The current plan is for a lady friend & I to travel to Fiji and maybe Australia, late winter/early spring next year. I’ve never been to the southern hemisphere.
Hang in there neo, and enjoy some travel.
It’s good to have a valid passport at ready. I didn’t and had to delay my trip to France in time to catch the riots. 🙂
Re: Expediting passport
I paid an extra $60 + $28 for expediting my passport, my bad, but I got my passport in five days, maybe four.
The last time I renewed my passport it got lost in the mail. So it took me a month to figure out, then it took me another month to get my passport unexpedited.
Which delayed my trip to Ireland to late November. I caught a terrible cold immediately.
I asked Google Search “emergency contact who should it be?” Quote:
An emergency contact should be someone who is trustworthy, reliable, easily reachable, and mentally capable of handling high-stress situations. [1, 2, 3, 4]
Who to Choose
Family Members: A spouse, partner, parent, sibling, or adult child is the most common choice. [1, 2]
Close Friends: If family is unavailable or unhelpful, a close, trusted friend—even one who lives at a distance—makes a great primary or secondary contact. [1, 2]
Roommates or Neighbors: Someone who lives nearby can check on you quickly, let emergency personnel inside, or assist with immediate tasks like pet care. [1, 2, 3]
Coworkers or Professionals: A trusted coworker, or a professional like your primary care physician or therapist, can work as an alternative option. [1]
Key Qualities to Look For
Availability: They pick up their phone at any time of day or night and are not frequently out of reach or traveling. [1, 2, 3]
Composure: They can stay calm under pressure rather than panicking. [1]
Knowledge of You: They know your medical history, current medications, allergies, and chronic conditions. [1, 2]
Decision-Making Authority: They know your wishes and—if designated as a healthcare proxy—are legally and emotionally prepared to make critical medical decisions for you. [1, 2, 3]
Consent: You must always ask the person first and confirm they are willing to accept the responsibility. [1, 2, 3]
Best Practices
List More Than One Person: Designate a primary and a backup contact in case the first person cannot be reached.
Clarify Roles: Let each person know what they are expected to do (e.g., medical decisions versus pet or home logistics).
Keep Information Current: Update phone numbers and addresses regularly, and set up your Medical ID on your smartphone so first responders can access the details quickly. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
————————————————————
When there is no local family or friend available, choosing an emergency contact for an aging relative requires a two-tiered approach. You need a primary long-distance contact to make decisions, paired with a trusted local resource for quick physical access.
Here is how to set up her emergency contact framework:
1. The Primary Long-Distance Contact (The Decision Maker)
This should be you or another trusted family member, even if you live hours away.
The Role: First responders and hospital staff do not need you to be physically present to speak with you. They need someone who can answer medical history questions, give legal consent for treatments, and coordinate her care.
What to do: Ensure this person has official Medical Power of Attorney (Healthcare Proxy) paperwork on file with her primary doctor and local hospital so doctors can legally share information over the phone.
2. The Local “Boots on the Ground” (The Practical Help)
Since no family is nearby, you must look to community resources or neighbors who can act as secondary or backup contacts. They won’t make medical choices, but they can physically check on her.
Trusted Neighbors or Building Managers: Find a nearby neighbor willing to keep a spare key. They can let paramedics into the home if she falls and cannot reach the door, or check on her if you can’t reach her by phone.
Professional Caregivers:
If she has a home health aide, visiting nurse, or a regular cleaning service, list their agency’s number as a backup contact.
Local Social Worker or Case Manager: If she is enrolled in any senior support programs, her case manager should be listed.
3. Technology as a Backup Emergency Contact
When local human contact is limited, technology bridges the gap. Consider setting up:
A Medical Alert System: A wearable button or pendant (like Life Alert or Bay Alarm Medical) connects her instantly to a 24/7 professional monitoring center. They will immediately call local emergency services and then call you.
Smart Speakers / Voice Assistants: Devices like Amazon Echo or Google Nest can be set up to call emergency services or a specific contact via voice command if she can’t reach a phone.
Lockboxes: Place a secure key lockbox outside her door (like real estate agents use) and give the code to her primary long-distance contact and local emergency services so they don’t have to break the door down in an emergency.
@neo:
PS: Maybe you could ask your trusted estate-clearing-out acquaintance if she would be the local contact, or maybe she could suggest other local entities.
I’ll second what AppleBetty said about the desirability of a passport even if you don’t travel internationally. Kentucky has had a horrendous time dealing with Real ID requirements (IIRC it was a fight over how to handle the secure production/delivery requirement since our DL’s are printed by counties and Kentucky has over 100, some with very small populations that couldn’t afford to create such a facility). So long as a passport card is acceptable as id for domestic air travel I couldn’t justify the cost and hassle of getting both a Real ID and a passport. I’m keeping my standard cheap and easily renewable DL, and using my passport card for air travel.
Well Neo, should you make it to Greece, let me know. Mrs X and I would love to treat you to a meal and share a glass or two of our excellent wines with you.
Remember Neo,
If you move you leave everything behind
( including yourself) if you move treat it as another adventure.
DON’T STOP BLOGGING, SLOW DOWN YES, BUT DON’T STOP.
For years we have joked that visiting family in California would require a passport, because it’s a different country out there. And this summer and fall, I actually needed a passport to fly there, because I haven’t bothered with the Real ID.