How Gene Hackman and his wife died is both surprising and sad
Here’s what happened, according to medical authorities: she died of hantavirus pulmonary syndrome, probably a week before her husband. He died of cardiovascular disease complicated by severe dementia.
The thought is that Betsy Hackman – who probably had no idea how very ill and at risk she was and probably thought she had the flu at most – dropped dead and could not care for her husband, who needed quite a bit of assistance. And no one realized it because no one was in daily contact with them. Therefore he probably wandered around for a week afterward, confused and perhaps even unaware of her death, until he himself expired.
As for the dog, it probably died of lack of water, although that hasn’t been proven yet. Two dogs outside survived; they probably found some source of water.
Here’s the Wiki entry on hantavirus. Apparently the death rate among sufferers is rather high, and death can be sudden. It’s primarily a disease of the western states, and New Mexico (where the Hackmans lived) has more than its share of cases per capita. But it is overall an extremely rare disease.
Mouse droppings and urine are vectors, and I already knew this because two summers ago, when I was helping my ex-husband go through things in his storage unit, I noticed quite a bit of evidence that mice had gotten in. This included their droppings and a couple of dead bodies, which caused me to withdraw my assistance and leave him to his own devices. But I discovered, on looking it up, that hantavirus was a possibility from any exposure to mouse effluvia, although an exceedingly remote one where I live.
Naturally, questions arise as to why the Hackmans had become so isolated. Perhaps it was at least partly their own choice, despite his condition. And after all, Betsy Hackman was only 65, and I doubt they considered that she might expire before her husband, and do so with little to no warning.
RIP.
RIP indeed. Very sad.
I showed a movie in honor of Hackman at last night’s movie night get-together: “Night Moves”, from 1975. Not the best movie he was in but an entertaining 1970s period piece. The group usually sticks around for a while afterwards to talk about the movie and the actors. Several people made the same observation that Art Deco did on the open thread–namely, that it was odd that none of Hackman’s children or their local friends had been in touch with them for months. I used to call my elderly parents at least once a week when they were well, moving to daily when they were declining.
They must have been very isolated at the end. It’s heartbreaking to think of Hackman alone in the house after his wife had died, unable to make sense of the situation, to call for help, or to care for himself. And the poor dog. Terribly sad.
I’ve seen close-up what life after 90 is like for most people (not all, not all). Not for me, thanks.
Hubert:
Yes, terribly sad.
They’ve determined that she ran errands on the 11th and died on returning home. It appears his dispositions and function were such that he could be left alone for short periods. He was also ambulatory. A reporter for USA Today located a trio of neighbors who professed to have known him. In their account, the two markedly reduced the degree to which they circulated locally during COVID and he had declined noticeably in recent months. They had no domestic help and he had no medicalert button.
That they had no regular household staff, or even a regular visiting nurse – that struck me as rather sad, as well. And that they were so isolated from neighbors and family that it turned out to be it was the yard maintenance guys who finally spotted the bodies, after weeks.
I called my parents, and later my mother, every Friday evening for years. My sister called regularly on another night. When my mother fell, and catastrophically injured her spine – it turned out to be only a day before the nearest neighbors became worried. Only a day.
Arakawa is a strange bird.
Sgt. Mom:
It is indeed odd. But my guesses – without actually knowing would be that they really valued their privacy at this point, perhaps because of celebrity but perhaps also because of his decline. His three children were all from his first marriage, and perhaps there was some element of at least partial estrangement due to the divorce and whatever were the reasons for it. In addition, they may have had a LOT of land around their house and therefore any neighbors would have been far away.
His three children were all from his first marriage, and perhaps there was some element of at least partial estrangement due to the divorce and whatever were the reasons for it.
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If the dates you see in news accounts are correct, he met Arakawa after his divorce decree was signed or at a time when the divorce was already in process. They were married about five years later.
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Again, if those dates are correct, his children would have been between 19 and 27 when he met Arakawa. Arakawa had the skills and dispositions to build an enduring marriage with Gene Hackman; from what I’ve seen of similar situations, my wager would be that relations between children and stepmother were cordial but not close. Who knows, though?
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Hackman himself admitted in a magazine interview that his relationship with his son was truncated by his extended work-related absences.
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I’ve also seen communication between parent and (nonresident) child break down as dementia ate up the parent’s mind. Often, the dementia is only recognized retrospectively, so both parties were unaware of the motor of the estrangement in real time.
Seeing as Hackman’s wife was only 65 I can understand no med alert device and no nursing aide type help but no house cleaner? That’s some deliberate isolation that had a tragic outcome.
It’s a very sad story, indeed. And yet, I can see how it could happen.
My wife and I are both in our 90s. We made the decision many years ago to steer clear of nursing homes if at all possible. A few years back we asked our daughter to come live with us to help us as needed. She was amenable and it has been a blessing.
We’re still able to do our daily chores – cleaning, gardening, cooking, shopping, and we both drive, though not at night. We need no domestic help, but our daughter often does things that we can’t quite manage anymore. She just took us out to a restaurant for dinner after dark. She also orders food for us on her cell phone when we need it. Neither my wife nor I have cell phones.
We would feel much less secure without our daughter living with us. We are both noticing our age more now and I’m wondering how long we can keep on this way. At some point we may need some nursing care that our daughter can’t provide and one or both of us may become unable to walk. It’s not an easy path, and the only certainty is that we’re not going to get any better as time goes on. Like Gene Hackman and his wife, we just have to keep on keeping on and hope for the best. The end is near, but not quite yet.
“Nursing homes” do not exist. There places that offer varying degrees of care: independent living facilities, assisted living facilities, skilled nursing facilities (which often also house rehabilitation hospitals), and memory care. Assisted living places offer varying degrees of assistance, depending on the place. But they also offer a fair amount of independence.
Skilled nursing facilities try to be as short term as possible. But if you need SNF, you really NEED the “skilled nursing” part of it. And admittedly, there are some people for whom it isn’t that short term a solution. A friend with ALS wound up in one — she could no longer live on her own, she needed specialized care that her children could not give. Another friend with ALS was able to stay at home because he and his wife (and his kids) were wealthy and could afford around the clock home skilled nursing he needed. My dad had IPF and was at home for several months, but towards the end, he needed too much care and moved to a SNF. He was there for less than a month.
Caring for people with Alzheimers can be extremely difficult. One woman I met had to commit her husband to a memory care facility. She was a tiny little woman, and he was a brawny man with early onset dementia. When he ceased to recognize her, he’d started beating her up. It was heartbreaking.
I hope that I can afford ALF when that time comes. Some are very nice. They have happy hours, movie nights, ice cream socials… Often times, the food is not too bad. People vilify them without knowing much about them.
Admittedly, ones that have been taken over by private equity go down the toilet… But the destruction and gutting of businesses by private equity is a different topic.
I’ve changed my mind about Arakawa, Hackman had the money and inclination for isolation she was a facilitator. I believe she was entirely honorable but a facilitator.
https://youtu.be/XiTh8UpbeEI?si=tx1MczMq4jPLEZQJ
but no house cleaner
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Evidently, there was some sort of home-owners-association which provided groundskeepers. (It was a twelve acre property). There were two houses on the property. I haven’t seen a report on the square footage of the main house. The secondary residence was shy of 2,400 sq ft. You’d think a 65 year old woman would employ a service.
They lived their later lives pretty much as they wished. Yet, and yet …
Whether a family member or a neighbor’s weekly check could have improved on the ultimate outcome of these events.
Lesson, yes. But only those heeding it will benefit.
I found one article claiming that the dog that died was in a crate following some kind of veterinary procedure, so the poor thing probably died of thirst.
I completely understand a decision to avoid moving into an institution, no matter how nice. But we need to keep in mind that we can become suddenly disabled at any time, a danger that is all the more important to plan for if one member of a couple is seriously impaired, especially mentally, and if there are animals who need daily attention as well.