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On holiday fruitcake

The New Neo Posted on by

Somehow I got on the list of a whole bunch of fancy food catalogues, which are coming to me in the mail almost every day. I’m pretty sure I earned my place on that list by sending some fruit to an elderly relative every year for the past few years. The relative is, alas, no more, but the catalogues proliferate.

And of course I look at them. Chocolates galore, even though I can’t eat chocolate because it gives me migraines. Sigh and sigh again. All sorts of other delicious-looking confections, all of them mega-expensive.

And of course fruitcake. Fruitcake has become a sort of holiday joke, but somebody must like it because all these fruitcakes start at around forty dollars a pop. I can’t imagine a fruitcake worth that sort of money, but then again, that seems to be the going rate for an entree in a restaurant these days, so what do I know?

I happen to like fruitcake, too. At least, sort of. Probably more than the average person does. But it’s the neutron star of calories, and it doesn’t seem worth that price, either. So I think I’ll desist.

Comments

On holiday fruitcake — 41 Comments

  1. I thought you were speaking of our celebrations and joy regarding the pause in the fundamental transformation project and those other associated fruitcakes.

    I like the baked edible kind, those others not so much.

  2. For the past decade or so Costco has carried a holiday fruitcake in a tin at a reasonable price, i.e. about $30. I happen to like fruitcake. I’m the only one in my family who does, so it falls to me to finish the thing off before it needs to be thrown out, and when I see them on the shelf, I can’t resist.

    Since we have moved, Costco has gone from being a ten-minute drive to being an hour and a half away, so I don’t go anywhere near as often. Which is to say I have not been there this year when the fruitcakes are on display. I miss the fruitcake, but my avoirdupois does not. It might not happen this year.

  4. This is a very nice and reasonably priced fruitcake:

    Old Fashion Claxton Fruit Cake 3-1 Lb. Regular Recipe Loaves – Individually Wrapped For Freshness in our Signature Red-White Carton – 3-pack

    $25 for 3 one pound loaves from Amazon. They are longer than they are wide, so you can cut a couple of slices and they eat like a confection–which is the right amount for something so sweet and heavy. Pairs well with bourbon.

  5. I wait for fruit cakes discounted the day after Christmas.

    Flora’s Lebkuchen is great. When a friend tried it, he told me it tasted German. Which it was.
    Definitely not the teeth-cracking lebkuchen I grew up on, but still delicious.

  6. Gringo:

    Glad you enjoy it. Aunt Flora would be glad too, I think. Her mother was born in Germany and her father in Bohemia.

  7. I baked fruitcake last Christmas for the 1st time. I made 3 of them, two were full octane and the nonalcoholic one for myself (teetotaler) . It was great fun making them, even more fun was giving them to friends and family. I think the non-fruitcake eaters appreciated the homemade cakes, even if they didn’t indulge.

  8. We are a family that likes fruitcake – my brother loves the Collin St. Bakery fruitcake, from Corsicana. Apparently, at about this time of year, the whole town smells the fruitcakes baking in their establishment. We have a couple of them from last year, when they were on sale at the local HEB grocery, after Christmas.
    I had a recipe for a Caribbean-style fruitcake – clipped from the Stars & Stripes newspaper sometime in the 1980s – which was very good, but slightly unusual. It called for ground dried fruits of various kinds to be steeped in rum for six months, and then baked in a batter. And then the cake soaked in port for another few months. It made a very heavy, dense, gingerbready sort of dark cake. I had a friend who loved it. She kept slabs of it in her freezer, and it was so saturated in alcohol that it didn’t actually freeze…

  9. Just for fun – this is the recipe mentioned above.
    Moisten with a little rum from a 1-quart bottle of same;
    1 lb dark raisins
    1 lb dried currents
    1 lb pitted prunes
    1 lb glace cherries
    Put the rum-flavored fruit through a meat-grinder, equipped with a medium blade, and combine with remainder of the quart of rum in a glass jar or other sealable container, and allow to steep for at least two weeks or up to one year.

    Cream together:
    1 lb butter
    1 lb brown sugar
    1 lb eggs (about a dozen)
    The ground and steeped fruit.

    Combine in another bowl, and stir into the butter/sugar mixture

    1 lb flour
    ½ tsp cinnamon
    ½ tsp nutmeg

    Add 3 oz burnt sugar (melt sugar until deeply caramelized, or nearly black, and dissolve with an equal amount of water to make a dark, thin syrup)

    Grease and flour 2 10-in spring form pans, divide the batter half into each, and bake in a pre-heated 350° oven for two hours, or until cake-tester comes out clean. You may need to cover the cakes with tinfoil to prevent burning. Remove cakes, and allow to cool. Poor ½ of a 1-quart bottle of tawny port over each cake, and allow to absorb. (You may need to take a bamboo skewer and pierce cakes about an inch apart all over to facilitate absorbing of the port.) When absorbed, pour on remainder of port onto each cake, wrap tightly in plastic (not tinfoil!) and allow to age at room temperature for at least a week. The resulting cake is very heavy, and dense, rather like gingerbread and might be considered a sort of “pound” cake, since it calls for a pound of just about everything but the spices.

  12. I concur with David. Claxton is very good. Didn’t use to be so expensive. It keeps in the wrapper for a very long time.

  14. While living in Italy we became panettone fans and rarely have fruitcake now. The cake (or is it a bread?) is lighter with more subtle flavors, particularly the classic with just candied fruit. Good ones cost $30-40 with similar calories, but it is a wonderful treat during the coming holidays.

  18. My late wife gifted many items like those mentioned by neo. And we got lots of those catalogs. I still get some, though thankfully fewer.

    I have these different groups of friends now. My community and these friends span a wide range of affluence. A few live out of RV’s, while Lady-R is into the exotic sports cars, the yacht club, and philanthropic events.

    I was hanging out with a few middle class friends last night and one mentioned an event featuring the tasting of a wide array of fine whiskeys at a swanky local hotel. $200 was the ticket price. No thanks, we all agreed. Lady-R posted Facebook photos from that whiskey event that she attended. Naturally!

    “The neutron star of calories.” Nice turn of a phrase!

  19. I wonder if Aldi doesn’t have something along this line. Right now I’m enjoying beef schnitzel from there, which is much like a chicken fried steak. Various German items show up from time to time and then vanish again.

    There is the story, and movie, about a teen who entered the John Beargrease Sled Dog Race in Canada, North Dakota and Minnesota. The kid figured he might have a chance if he didn’t waste time cooking. So he brought mom’s fruitcake, and did win the race.

  20. My wife makes a killer fruit cake. The last time she made one, however, while the dough was resting, our standard poodle ate the entire uncooked cake. Nothing left, but some powdered sugar on the counter.

  21. I read your blog to gain political insight – which you provide in spades – but do enjoy these charming little girlish touches – which leaven the bread, so to speak. God bless you! Bill

  23. I once worked at a radio station in a small town. During Christmas one year, the station gave away a number of fruitcakes, so that the 10 days or so before Christmas every DJ had to give away 1 or 2 of the fruitcakes during each on-air shift. Well, we couldn’t do the typical, “We’ll give away a fruitcake to the 5th caller!” because sometimes NOBODY would call to win a free fruitcake. During some on-air shifts, we couldn’t even give away 1 fruitcake.

  24. Counter sweeping (kitchen counter) by a standard poodle. Our poodles were both “kleins” about 18 in. tall at the shoulders. Kitchen counters were safe from them (mostly), although we didn’t push our luck.

  25. Jews have already served honey cake, lebcuchen, or fruitcake around the Jewish New Year and Sukkot (harvest/thanksgiving/feast of tabernacles).

    For the depth of winter our caloric neutron stars are fried foods served on Hanuka to commemorate the miracle of the oil.

    A fried potato latke with sour cream may not have the heft of a slab of fruitcake but they add up.

    And in Israel there are deep fried donuts and crullers… The bakeries and konditorei compete with gourmet combinations of filling and frostings. Here’s this year’s lineup from a major hi-end chain:

    https://www.roladin.co.il/%D7%9E%D7%AA%D7%97%D7%9D-%D7%94%D7%97%D7%92%D7%99%D7%9D/%D7%97%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%9B%D7%94-2024/

    In addition to plain jam and dulce de leche the creations shown include forest berries in mascarpone, salted caramel topped with popcorn, chocolate Bavarian, coffee, hazelnut, pistachio, tropical fruit… If you’re throwing a holiday party you must schedule pickup or delivery so they are fresh.

    This has also become a perk at the Hitech companies and other firms. The really fancy donuts are served at the holiday toast, and the plainer ones are in the coffee area the whole week of Hanuka.

    It definitely adds up.

  26. Related…
    The deliciously malicious fruitcake Democratic Party’s very special brand of “tough love”:
    We love our country sooooo much, we MUST destroy it!
    “Janet Yellen departs from office — as she leaves a trail of mess behind her“—
    https://nypost.com/2024/11/23/business/janet-yellen-exiting-office-leaving-mess-behind-for-trump-team/
    H/T Powerline blog.

    + “Bonus”…
    https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/gensler-announces-he-stepping-down-sec-chair-day-bitcoin-hits-all-time-high

  27. I have my mother’s fruitcake recipe, which she always claimed dated to the Civil War. She said the original recipe had no exact measurements, instead things like “ten handfuls of flour,” or “a large pinch of cinnamon.” So, she watched her mother make it, and then made exact measurements of the ingredients her mother had measured out in her own way. It is enormous, and she always baked it in an angel food cake pan. When I have made it, I use several small loaf pans, and will give some away to folks whom I know like fruit cake. But it is a lot of trouble, pretty expensive, and not really that popular, so I haven’t done one for years. Maybe this year…

  28. This Politico piece is the epitome of tone-deaf weasel-word punditry:
    https://archive.is/2024.11.22-150259/https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2024/11/22/trump-second-term-transition-differences-00190775

    Ostensibly an objective treatment of the Trump phenomenon, it avoids a number of truths that are taboo among Democrats:
    – Trump’s first term is laughably described as “tumultuous”! Yeah, when home invaders threaten your family and rob you blind, it sure is tumultuous. Not an iota of acknowledgement of the incessant partisan and illegal opposition to him in his first term.
    – Lawfare is casually dismissed as “court cases” and there is no awareness of what everyone in the country knows was extreme legal malpractice and kangaroo-court justice run amok!
    – No mention of the widely-held belief that the 2020 election was stolen.
    – No mention of the nasty-work of the media that started when they saw him as a stalking horse for Hillary and continues to this day.
    – No mention of the fact that the brilliant selection of VP Vance greased the campaign success, and positions the party for a future Presidency. In fact, not a single mention of Vance at all!

    A simply disgusting piece of sophistry that reflects accurately the utter vacancy of the Democrats’ positions.

    Why did Trump win? Simple. Way too many people knew that he was unjustly maligned and prosecuted, the 2020 election was rigged, and the unskilled Kamala Harris had screwed her way to success.

    Since they weren’t allowed to say those things out loud, they waited and pulled the lever to speak up – not particularly caring whether the Dems were listening.

    Spoiler alert… they weren’t.

  29. And another fruitcake, an extremely dangerous one, at that (think maraschino cherry to the power of infinity)….

    “Bombshell Fauci Documentary Nails The Whole COVID Charade”—
    https://www.zerohedge.com/covid-19/hey-elon-hey-rand-mega-censored-fauci-documentary-nails-whole-charade

    Key graf:

    …A new must-watch documentary by two-time Peabody Award-winning and four-time Emmy nominated director Jenner Furst, a self-described progressive who has broken with the Democratic party, ties it all together.

    Thank You, Dr. Fauci….

    Everything one wanted to know but was afraid—or even unable—to ask….

  30. More holiday fruitcake…
    Exhibit A:
    “Blind spots”, he said….

    “Manchin slams ‘17 educated idiots’ that were advising Biden during COVID;
    “Manchin said Biden had blind spots on inflation, immigration and Afghanistan“—
    https://www.foxnews.com/politics/manchin-slams-17-educated-idiots-were-advising-biden-during-covid

    Must be an epidemic….
    Exhibit B:
    “Adam Schiff says ‘entire Democratic Party’ bears the blame for Harris loss: ‘Myself included’;
    “‘The entire Democratic Party bears the responsibility, myself included and the former president,’ Schiff said.”—
    https://www.foxnews.com/media/adam-schiff-says-entire-democratic-party-bears-blame-harris-loss-myself-included

    Surprisingly, Schiff gets off to a pretty decent start but, not too surprisingly, hits the wall pretty quickly.

    Reality is just too arduous for some people, it seems…

  31. the policies you put forth, you bug eyed freak, which included the’clean energy’ spring surprise, yes that may have had something to do with it,

  33. I came here to see why so many comments about fruitcake, and for one horrified moment I thought Miguel had called Barry a “bug eyed freak.” But no, he means Adam Schiff, and who can disagree? 🙂

  34. Well he wouldn’t be that far wrong…especially when there’s a fruit cake in sight…even if I really shouldn’t indulge at this stage of the game…

    (But in any case, coming from him, I would have considered it a term of endearment…)

  35. Neo,

    My standard poodle is no longer with us, sadly – my wife & I differ on his destination in the afterlife. He was my buddy, my wife hated the beast. He was indestructible: besides the fruitcake, he ate an entire bag of Dove chocolates, foil & all (toxic to dogs); a bag of macadamia nuts (poisonous in dogs); half of a pan of red sauce -simmering on the stove -, busted when he showed up with a red muzzle; a bunch of grapes (also poisonous). I could go on; never turned a hair… I do miss him though, naughty as he was…

  36. Fruitcake, Inc….
    (AKA a clearly deliberate attempt by Obama/“Biden” to sabotage the country, endanger its citizens and hobble, if not cripple, the incoming president-elect.)

    Compare and contrast:
    “Among the media watchdogs, NewsGuard, which often targets conservative outlets, is most feared”—
    https://justthenews.com/accountability/cancel-culture/bond-2

    “Biden Administration Leaves More Disasters To Clean Up”—
    https://amac.us/newsline/society/biden-administration-leaves-more-disasters-to-clean-up/

    “NYC ICE director declares ‘it would take a lifetime’ to deport the city’s migrant criminals”—
    https://nypost.com/2024/11/23/us-news/nyc-ice-director-itd-take-a-lifetime-to-deport-citys-migrant-criminals/
    H/T Powerline blog (for all three).

  38. @ Ray Van Dune > “Ostensibly an objective treatment of the Trump phenomenon, it avoids a number of truths that are taboo among Democrats:”

    The Politico piece does (or doesn’t do) exactly as you said, but it shouldn’t be dismissed lightly. The panel conceded most of Trump’s advantages this time around, although they were not happy that he was going into office much better prepared than in 2016.

    Wise Democrats would pay attention and plug the holes in their fortifications, and wise Republicans would pay attention to what the Democrats are doing.

  40. We swear by the Collins St. fruitcakes out of Corsicana.

    I tried a fancy one from the Zingerman’s catalog one year, but it was expensive and disappointing. Normally I love Zingerman’s.

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