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Biden and the fountain of youth — 37 Comments

  1. I am so happy that all the personal and societal troubles haven’t destroyed your sense of humor!

    Problem is, speaking seriously, it’s not clear that Biden realizes there’s anything wrong with him.

  2. This would be a very encouraging speech — encouraging to the entire nation — if it were given on any other day of the year. Oh well, we can dream, can’t we?

  3. Good one. Close enough to what Biden might actually want to say. The I looked at the calendar. 🙂

  4. I thought I’d spotted this from the title, but a good head-fake in the opening made me wonder … for a bit.

  5. I’ve never been able to dismiss the rumor that, in his heroin days, Keith Richards would periodically go to a secret clinic in Switzerland to have his blood entirely transfused.

  6. Problem is, speaking seriously, it’s not clear that Biden realizes there’s anything wrong with him.
    ==
    That’s the signature of an Alzheimer’s type dememtia.

  7. All good satire, like this, has a base in reality, carried to extremes. I have seen reports of medical research and the benefits of “young” blood for the aging. The Babylon Bee often does this — starts with a halfway plausible proposition and makes it ridiculous. Well done.

  8. You almost got me! I was a few lines into the Biden “quotation” when the truth dawned on me. The trouble was, of course, that it was all too close to possible that he really would say something like that.

    I’m glad your sense of humor is alive and well.

  9. You had me for a second there. I couldn’t figure out why Biden would admit to getting blood transfusions after he spent so much time denying that he drank the blood of children. But when I saw the part about “dumping that babbling bore Kamala,” I knew you were kidding. Dropping Kamala won’t be Biden’s decision and he wouldn’t talk about it now. Does he really know that she is boring and babbling? Doesn’t that cut too close to his own babbling and boringness? I think Biden may not be satisfied with Kamala, but he’s so far gone that he can’t articulate exactly why he feels that way.

  10. i’m reminded of when dana carvey, did a similar number on snl, showing a much more vigorous bush, who took charge,

  11. Have to admit you had me there. The perfect April Fool’s joke: fake but accurate!

  12. @ Scott > “Avril Poisson!”

    Carp, I suppose?

    (in-joke for Hoyt’s Hoydens)

  13. Sadly, almost everything in the news today reads like a story from the Bee.
    It’s hard to parody the clown world.

  14. Sometimes the Serendipity Department works overtime.
    https://accordingtohoyt.com/2023/03/31/all-still-the-same/#comment-911409

    BobtheRegisterredFool says:March 31, 2023 at 3:45 pm
    Guys, what if Joe Biden is really Hitler?

    So, there are crazies talking about immortality as a near term technical achievement. If now, why not eighty years ago?

    Joe Biden famously has that body double.

    Why can’t that body double be an unnaturally vigorous Adolph Hitler?

    The haircut and the mustache are probably what most people remember as Hitler’s features, and I’m not sure how many people have strong opinions on how closely Biden physically resembles Hitler.

    Follow the thread for some amusing conversation.

  15. Actually sounds less like an April Fool’s joke than most things Joe actually utters…

  16. Neo; this is so “fake but accurate” that you should consider a second career working in the MSM.

  17. Neo,
    You better watch out. Jokes which the Regime finds offensive are now illegal. You will be tossed into jail if you’re funny enough to annoy the Regime.
    Douglass Mackey, a.k.a. Ricky Vaughn, has been convicted for telling jokes. His lawyer is confident of reversal.

    “Today’s verdict proves that the defendant’s fraudulent actions crossed a line into criminality and flatly rejects his cynical attempt to use the constitutional right of free speech as a shield for his scheme to subvert the ballot box and suppress the vote.” – U.S. Attorney Peace
    If they are offended, it’s hate speech and not constitutionally protected.

  18. well they used the alpine lace thin veneer, that they were encouraging an illegal act, but as others have pointed out, false encouragements by progs are not prosecuted,

  19. I could tell this was a joke speech for April Fool’s Day not because it was ridiculous, but because he didn’t mention ice cream or make inappropriate remarks to little girls.

  20. It is a sad commentary on the state of our Republic that so many people (including me) believed this when I first read it. Nothing that the Bidenistas do would surprise me, they are that far gone into the abyss.

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