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Home » Gerard Vanderleun: December 26, 1945 – January 27, 2023

Gerard Vanderleun: December 26, 1945 – January 27, 2023

The New Neo Posted on by

Gerard died peacefully in the small hours of the morning.

He left instructions to me for two last posts of his that he wanted me to publish on his blog. I will probably do that tomorrow. I also will be cross-posting a few more essays of my own about Gerard, but I will keep his two last posts pinned at the top of the page there. Therefore you’ll need to scroll down past them to get to any new ones.

Thank you for all the loving and beautiful words expressing loving and beautiful thoughts for Gerard and for me.

Comments

Gerard Vanderleun: December 26, 1945 – January 27, 2023 — 102 Comments

  4. 77 years is an eventful run, and what he accomplished makes it an enviable one. I am sorry you two are now apart after what you shared, but at least you shared it. I said that death comes for us all and I meant it; for whatever our differences on the Iraq War or Ukraine or McCarthy or Trump that will remain true. What matters is what you do in the time you have.

    Gerard had the time of his life, and a good part of yours. And after years of struggle with cancer dying peacefully in one’s sleep at that age with the wishes of those you love and care about us enviable.

    Rest in Peace Gerard.

    As for you Neo, take care of yourself and take comfort in that. You were a good friend to him and are a good person. Good luck with what comes next.

  5. Turtler:

    Thank you.

    I just wanted to add that he only became a little sick about two months ago and really sick about a month ago. It was intense but quick.

  8. neo:

    Condolences and continued prayers for those remaining now that Gerard has passed into the loving arms of our Lord and Savior.

  9. Thank you Neo for being there with Gerard to send him on his way. His writing was so good and meshed with a lot of my memories of the good old days since we are the same age, 77 years old. Those were most interesting times from the end of WWII to the present, no need to retell them here however the music was good, the women were beautiful and us youngsters were special and we knew it, whether we were wearing Army green or crazy assed hippies messing up college campuses, it was a different time and while we wanted something better we kind of knew we were part of an adventure getting too much attention.

    Rest in peace Gerard and Bless you Neo for being such an excellent woman and a friend to my friend. Peace and Love to All this day.

  10. I’ll miss his writing, and to that extent, miss him, but not as much as you. I’m sorry if it feels trite, but please accept my sincere condolences.

  12. So it was pretty much as what I experienced with my Father. Take care of yourself, let his siblings help you, get your rest, whatever time you need, and we will wait for you.

    Damn he wasn’t much older than me.

    I hate those mRNA shots and the stringy crap they leave behind. {{{hugs}}}

    We’ll see you on the flip side.

    /Thomas

  14. It is good you were able to be with him at the end. When I lost my wife, our children, her mother and brothers and I were there with her. It does not substitute for the loss, but it gave her comfort while she was still aware and allowed us to do what we could. May he rest in peace and may you have a measure of peace as well.

  18. I read what you wrote about Gerard yesterday, and I am very sorry for your loss. You pay tribute to a man who obviously cared for you very much. Thank you for that. It means quite a bit to all of us. Heaven is a better place now. God Bless!

  19. “ Heart of Wisdom Sutra”:

    Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha.

    We love Gerard and we love you.

  21. Gerard’s now reunited with his lovely, lively mother. May he RIP.

    Thank you, Neo, for keeping us all informed. We are scattered about the world, but in a way, we’re a family. There’s love and caring in this conservative blogosphere.

    We’re saddened by our loss, but I for one, feel uplifted about life in general because of the out pourings of love and admiration for Gerard and you.

  22. My deepest sympathies.

    ‘Yes,’ said Gandalf; ‘for it will be better to ride back three together than one alone. Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.’

    Then Frodo kissed Merry and Pippin, and last of all Sam, and went aboard; and the sails were drawn up, and the wind blew, and slowly the ship slipped away down the long grey firth; and the light of the glass of Galadriel that Frodo bore glimmered and was lost. And the ship went out into the High Sea and passed on into the West, until at last on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise.

    I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil. Gerard’s rain-curtain has turned all to silver glass; may he find his far green country under a swift sunrise.

  23. “Bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love.”

    – C. S. Lewis, ‘A Grief Observed’.

    Prayers for comfort Neo.

  24. Godspeed Gerard.

    As you know sorrow is the price we pay for love; still, one of the hardest part is the empty void left behind.

    Wishing comfort to you Neo.

  26. OldTexan said, Those were most interesting times from the end of WWII to the present, no need to retell them here however the music was good, the women were beautiful and us youngsters were special and we knew it . . . .

    Gerard captured that time when we youngsters were special in a memorial essay that he wrote for his (younger) brother Tom when Tom died in November 2020: “I Had a Fortress Once in Paradise”– it’s the kind of story that will leave any of Gerard’s readers smiling through their tears.

    https://americandigest.org/i-had-a-fortress-once-in-paradise/

    I expect Tom and Gerard are having quite a reunion in Paradise.

  27. “Blessed are those who die in the Lord for they shall rest from their labours and their good deeds shall follow them.”

    God be with you Boss. He’s already holding Gerard.

  29. My condolences. There isn’t much to say at the end, the chapter is written and the page turned. Gerard loved you dearly, remember that.

  34. It is the width of a man’s life that defines him, not the length. I am sorry for your personal loss, Neo. Gerard was influential to many and lived wide.

  35. Dear, dear Neo:

    We are all consumed with grief. Gerard departed on the 80th anniversary of my birth, so I will remember this day every year for as long as I have remaining on this earth.

    I will also remember holding my older sister in my arms as she breathed her last after a long, long bout with cancer. That was almost 30 years ago, and as the pain dulls, the fond memories gradually take over. May your own pain turn quickly to fond memories.

    You have my — nay, all of our — deep condolences. It’s a small thing to say, but that is about all we can have to offer you.

    Strength, Neo, and RIP Gerard.

    F

  37. My deepest condolences, Neo. May your sorrow be tempered by the memories.

    And while you have a lot to do for the next few days or months, editing Gerard’s e-book and perhaps website, at some point the tasks will wane and the loss will hit once more. Take care of yourself, and know that you are important to your readers here, all of whom cherish you.

  38. Not much I can add to the already warm sentiments expressed by others…take care Neo.

  40. Into thy hands, O merciful savior, we commend the soul of thy servant Gerard, now departed from the body. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech thee, a sheep of thine own fold, a lamb of thine own flock, a sinner of thine own redeeming. Receive him into the arms of thy mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light. Amen.

  42. I saw your post at American Digest, Neo. Once more, thank you for being there. After reading, I went over to the KJV at Bible Gateway. I spun the scroll wheel, and just clicked where it landed. Square on John:14.
    Accident? I think not.
    God Bless.

    JWM

  43. Prayers for you for your loss, and ours. Words fail at such a time, suffice to say that a light has gone out and the world is darker for it.

    “He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.”

  44. Dying is an end to the suffering that is inevitable as our organs fail us in an advancing, ultimately fatal, illness. In that sense, it comes as a blessing.
    If we did not have the capacity to grieve for the departed, we would lack one of the gifts of being human. Thanks be to God.

  45. Condolences, Neo.

    I just wanted to add that he only became a little sick about two months ago and really sick about a month ago. It was intense but quick.

    I’ve had two friends go that quickly in recent years. One from pancreatic cancer and one from prostate cancer.

  46. In 2005, Norman Geras (1943-2013), the world’s last principled leftist, published a profile of Gerard Van der Leun. This was number 114 in a weekly series done by Geras for his blog, “normblog.”

    Each profile consists of a series of questions, posed by Geras, followed by answers from the person profiled.

    For the curious, here’s a link:
    https://normblog.typepad.com/normblog/2005/11/the_normblog_pr_3.html

    And here’s a sample:

    Geras: If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything you’d do differently?

    Van der Leun: I’d have written more books and taken better care of my teeth.

  49. At a little before the half century mark, I realized time was short. No more spectating. No sitting on a couch on the weekend watching others do things, sports and otherwise. My wife and I experience life to our max.
    Gerard’s death and your loving response remind me of another thing.
    I will not waste my time or energy on things that are not life affirming.
    We embrace life, for as long as we can. That is what God wants for all of us.
    I am so sorry for your loss. I hope all the comments help, knowing that you and Gerald have touched our lives.

  50. May his memory be a blessing. For his sake, I’m glad it happened so quickly, and not much suffering. I’m glad you there with him at the end.

  54. Neo – Please take care of yourself and make sure you get the support you need during this stressful time.

  57. It has been a long week for all of us, but none so much as for you, Neo. As is now so evident, Gerard left his mark on many, and he’ll be sorely missed. I’ve shed tears, and prayers, for him daily.

    But I want to note something else…you, Neo. Many of Gerard’s readers have been with him long before his heart attack, and all this time, it was you with whom he was in daily contact. This week I’ve been shedding my tears for Gerard, but since you broke this news that the two of you had been a couple….he on the West Coast and you, in your privacy and behind your apple, on the East…I’ve also been shedding tears because this beautiful story was always here, hidden but for the two of you. Not to trivialize this, but this really is a story right out of a movie. I’m so glad that his special friend turned out to be you. Please do take care.

  58. So sorry for your loss, Neo. Gerard lived a full and eventful life, and will be greatly missed by many. You will continue to be in our prayers.

  59. I’m very sorry for your loss, sweetie. Gerard was, to all of us, our friend. Lots of big hugs for you, comfort and peace.

    The Lord God, Creator of the Universe, is not leaving you alone. Not at this time, and not ever.

    And neither are we.

  60. For the Anniversary of My Death

    W. S. Merwin

    Every year without knowing it I have passed the day
    When the last fires will wave to me
    And the silence will set out
    Tireless traveler
    Like the beam of a lightless star

    Then I will no longer
    Find myself in life as in a strange garment
    Surprised at the earth
    And the love of one woman
    And the shamelessness of men
    As today writing after three days of rain
    Hearing the wren sing and the falling cease
    And bowing not knowing to what

  61. Over two decades, I’ve cherished Gerard’s blog for its delicious humor and fierce wisdom.

    When I re-read his poetry, my brain incandesces and my heart sings. A flash ballet of the Soul

    His voice has not been silenced.

  62. God bless Gerard, you and all those who loved him. His voice was greatly appreciated and will be sadly missed.

  63. So sorry to hear the sad news. Losing such a close friend is enormously difficult. I lost my best friend 11 years ago. She remains in my heart and in my thoughts — but of course it’s not the same as creating new experiences together. And there is a loneliness to the fact that other people, outside her family, just don’t miss her as much. My condolences, Neo.

  64. When my father passed, along with the Honors–which by now are hard enough–I had to choose a recessional. “Amazing Grace” was suggested. Hearing my hesitation, the woman arranging things then proposed “For All The Saints”.

    Far better and much more appropriate for a man like Gerard.

  67. My deepest sympathy, Neo.
    Having now seen the entries which you had early on placed in Gerards blog, it’s unmistably clear how you, his family, and his friends, had all areas of his well-being covered with your foresight, concern, and deep affection.

  69. I’m so sorry for your loss; and that you had such a limited time to be together at the end.

    I’m playing a CD “in remembrance” – it has the Faure Requiem and the
    Durufle Requiem. Both lovely pieces – but I do get a little misty-eyed each time I listen to them. Such beautiful music, yet they’re reminders that we only have a short time here on this planet; and we have to bear the loss of so many wonderful people on our way to our own transition to the Great Elsewhere.

    Prayers up, for solace and strength.

  70. What a great loss to those of us who only knew Gerard through his writing; but what an unfathomably deeper loss to those, such as you, Neo, who were his close friends.

    I stumbled across American Digest years ago, when Gerard kindly left a comment on my blog applauding one of my satirical political posts. I was greatly flattered that he also linked it on his own blog. I highly valued his writing: he was wise and informative, learned and funny. But above all, he struck me as an eminently civilized man; such a rarity in these intellectually blighted times.

    God rest his soul, and comfort his friends and family and his many fans.

  71. I only know you, neo, via your writings (ditto for Mr. Van der Leun, via his comments here), but I’m nonetheless feeling very sad for you today.

    Realizing that you’re a very private person renders this situation all the more poignant. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself. Take care . . .

    M J R

  73. Long ago it was Gerard’s pointer from American Digest which led me to neo’s blog. Perhaps a mixed blessing from some angles. It has been a constructive part of my life since.

    For which I thank neo and Gerard, as well as the commenter community here.

    –Terry Riley, “Journey From The Death Of A Friend”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISFOasSQ2lg

  74. I keep saying I’m sorry on these various posts, here and over there. I still am. I’m so sorry.

  75. Neo,

    Does Olive have a home for the future? It would take me a couple of days, but I could drive to Chico.

  77. Gordon Scott:

    Thanks. There are some possibilities we’re working on for a new home for Olive, but I’ll let you know if they fall through.

  84. Neo
    My deepest condolences for your loss
    Hope that you will pass this hard time safely our hearts with you

  85. I was familiar with Gerald’s writing a little bit from Maggie’s farm occasionally linking to it but came to his blog via him giving sippican cottage a hard time about not liking dire straights. This world has lost a true sultan.
    I’m sorry for your loss.

  86. If I may speak now for Gerard, the poet…

    He once boasted of how he happened into a modern Poetry Slam (a competitive public poetry reading), spontaneously decided to enter the Slam, then shut the place down with a few of his own poems, which he had, of course, committed to memory and was fully prepared to unleash upon the audience that evening.

    I can believe it. He had, let us say, an unusual facility with words.

    The poems of his I recall recast old classic poems with rhyme! and meter! into a modern context. Such as his “The Laws of the Blogger” for Kipling, and something based on Robert Service, maybe “The Cremation of Sam McGrew.”

    Perhaps to the modern sensibility that’s on the cornball side of life.

    My point is it’s hard to do. It’s tennis with the net and Gerard volleyed across that net with little effort, or so it seemed.

  89. I’ve seen his final post, which you put up at his request on his blog, and my heart hurts to read about his estrangement from his daughter and granddaughters, now permanent. I suppose family, and you, know what this was about, and if Gerard didn’t care to put it in writing, then you will respect his wishes.

    But for all of us, if we have hurts and disappointments, are they worth this kind of final separation? Give up bitterness and make peace while we can.

  91. But for all of us, if we have hurts and disappointments, are they worth this kind of final separation? Give up bitterness and make peace while we can.

    Kate:

    I’ve seen that in my family too. It can be tough to forgive.

    After I reconverted to Christianity it occurred to me that one didn’t have to go to Zen Buddhism for koans — spiritual riddles like “What is the sound of one hand clapping”.

    The great Christian koan IMO is forgiveness and one can spend the rest of one’s life working on that one.

  93. huxley, there were people in my family who never gave me the opportunity to forgive, and now they’re gone.

  95. I am so sorry to read of your – our – loss. He was such a good reporter and eloquent writer for our lives.

    The piece which hooked me, after discovering he had traveled through my part of the North Carolina mountains a few years back, was “The Name in the Stone.” What a remarkable piece of writing and self discovery. I just returned to the American Digest today and see it at the top. Gerard’s name is found in many computers these days, as is his uncle’s, for good reason. He ran a good race.

    He will be missed, but surely being in the presence of the Lord he is well.

  96. I’m so sad this year… I have hit the point where more friends are dying than being made… I will miss Gerard greately. 🙁

  97. We readers of his blog, like you, will miss him. (Though your loss is greater than ours.) One reason I read Gerard was that, like me, he had spent some time in Berserkeley.

    Some get immunized from the far left by their experiences in Berserkeley. Others do not.

    artldgr, good to hear you are still around.

  98. I am so sorry to see this news today (Monday morning). My deepest condolinces to you and his entire family. ~andrewdb

  99. I’m so sorry, Neo. Prayers for you, for comfort and peace. His memory is a blessing to us all.

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