Come fly with me
I recently flew from coast to coast. I remain in awe of how fast and well it is usually done, really a marvel of modern machinery and manpower. I’ve driven coast to coast many times in years past, and I know just how wide the country is. But when I watch that little cartoon airplane on the Jet Blue screen travel across the map of the US, it seems to be moving from state to state with such ease and rapidity it might well just be a piece on a board game like checkers.
But still, I’ve got the following observations:
(1) If airlines tell you to get to the airport at least 3 hours early because of TSA lines, they also should have someone at the departure desk to take checked luggage 3 hours early. At one airport where I complied with the suggestion, they did not—and we passengers stood in line there for about an hour, before ever getting anywhere near the TSA lines (which, by the way, were non-existent).
(2) How is it that so many people can fall asleep on the redeye and remain asleep through everything? Do they all take heavy-duty sleeping pills? Or have they just adapted better than I have to modern life?
(3) Why do so many flight attendants these days make all their announcements in an extremely rapid monotone? It sounds like they’re reciting the possible side effects on a prescription medication ad on TV.
(4) What can a person do if—as happened to me on my most recent flight—the passenger next to them snores in a truly alarming fashion, with loud snorts and choking and gurgling sounds and in no particular rhythm? And when that snoring next-seat-neighbor has some sort of restless leg syndrome as well, and keeps vigorously encroaching on your leg space with their leg, even while snoringly asleep? Oh, let me add that the flight was completely full, so movement to another seat didn’t seem possible.
(5) On the other hand, those Terra chips are pretty good for freebies.
My wife (a travel agent, and experienced world traveler of yore) flew Spokane to Portland Saturday morning, to a connecting flight to Eureka CA (for a week of “family & friends” …I was entirely too busy to accompany her for such an extended visit).
As the twin turbo-prop commuter just barely lifted off from Portland, the pilot aborted at the last possible moment (he explained to passengers a light came on that alarmed him, but didn’t think it would take long to fix …but they’d have to disembark for the repairs).
It freaked my wife out.
Two hours later they cancelled the flight and offered the options of refunds or a seat on an evening flight.
She rented a car and drove (5 hours) back home.
…she explained to me that she’d have a “bad feeling” all week before she left Saturday (she hadn’t said a word to me), and she just couldn’t bring herself to get back on a plane, period.
(I have no fear of flying at all: I solo’d years ago – right before I ran out of money to continue the hobby – and have always loved getting on any kind of plane for any reason at all lol. My problem these days is the stupidity of TSA: I’ve refused to fly since it became apparent that their security policies were offensively ineffective.)
I’ve decided that I shall never set foot on a commercial airline flight again. Never, full-stop. I’ll drive, take the train, even (god help me) a long-distance bus. But since commercial flying has become the hassle that it is … and I never really enjoyed flying all that much, which is an odd thing to say for an Air Force veteran to admit. But as brdavis9 said – the offensively ineffective practices of the TSA were the ultimate last straw. I’ll rent a car and drive, rather than travel by air again.
(2) How is it that so many people can fall asleep on the redeye and remain asleep through everything? Do they all take heavy-duty sleeping pills? Or have they just adapted better than I have to modern life?
Like you, I have trouble sleeping on planes. The noise and the discomfort of the seats make sleeping hard for me. Ear plugs don’t help. Trains, no problem sleeping. Back in the day, I took some overnight flights to South America. I think I may have slept some, but was definitely tired at the end of the flights.
(3) Why do so many flight attendants these days make all their announcements in an extremely rapid monotone? It sounds like they’re reciting the possible side effects on a prescription medication ad on TV.
They are bored from giving the same announcements hundreds of times.
I recently took my first flight in over 7 years. I needed to get somewhere fast, and got a good ticket price. The TSA was annoying. I also find it annoying that airport food is so expensive. I realize that the food vendors aren’t making a killing, as they have to pay high rents in airports, but it still annoys me.
I don’t like flying, and was glad to get off the plane. I don’t like the irregular shaking, I don’t like the noise, I don’t like the canned air, I don’t like being crowded. Nor do I like traveling by bus, for much the same reasons.
When I got to the car rental place at the airport in the suburbs, an hour’s drive to my hometown in the countryside, I told the car rental clerk that the weather felt like the beginning of fishing season. She told me that fishing season didn’t begin for another month. When I got to my hometown, I found out that I was right- fishing season had just started. Conclusion: one difference between the suburbs and the countryside is that people living in the suburbs don’t know when fishing season starts.
One advantage of being a country hick, I suppose.
I think a lot of people would choose to drive rather than fly the airlines, if one-way rental cars were more of an option. Right now I’m in Georgia…had to fly commercial due to schedule and weather reasons…but would drive home if rental were available on reasonable terms.
I have flown after being awake for 24 hours straight, and STILL NOT been able to fall asleep on the plane. It’s the weirdness of it for me — the air temperature; I swear i can feel my blood pooling oddly in my legs; the noise unblock able even with shmancy ear plug; the dryness…
I always bring hand wipes with me because I do not trust that the people exciting the lavatory have properly washed their hands. (And I HATE getting stuck sitting near it — there is inevitably someone suffering from some lower gastrointestinal distress on the plane if I get a seat near it. I get HORRIBLY claustrophobic if I don’t get an aisle seat — and the bulkhead seats command a premium rate.
I like the Southwest Air flight attendants. They try to make the annoucnemtns entertaining. Jet Blue and Virgin Atlantic used to be great, too, but I haven’t flown them in AGES, so I have no idea.
I just really don’t want to fly any more. It’s a royal pain.
Given the time, I’d prefer to drive.
Music, lots of good music, DvoÅ™é¡k’ in my big over the ear head set help me retreat into my own little world. I too have trouble sleeping, even on overseas flights but I learned a long time ago to avoid eye contact, open my book, turn up enough music to mask the noise of plane and passengers and slip away into my own little world.
Years ago I flew in some real crappy military airplanes, C-47 and C-119 that were unpressurized, noisy, overcrowded and smelly, sitting on metal seats wearing a parachute and after that every other plane ride is a marked improvement. Just give me a seat inside the plane and leave me alone and I can handle anything for the few hours it takes to fly any where in our nation.
I remember going across the country in hot weather in un air-conditioned cars and I am old enough to have ridden coal fired trains with the smoke and cinders flying in the window and with that in mind I can put up with a days worth of crap making a safe flight to my destination.
I a thankful my days of frequent flying are over and the first thing I do after going through security is purchase a sandwich and a bottle of water so that I am self-sufficient living in my tiny bit of space.
I carry and check minimal luggage and if I have notice of at least a week I package and ship any extra clothing or gear I might need. That’s about it for me.
I agree with all the other commenters, flying is a royal pain today. I never would have believed it would deteriorate to the extent it has.
Twenty-five years of delivering people to places they wanted to go was a joy to me. I used to love seeing families reunited on holidays. (Back in the days when families could still come to the gate.) When I started flying for the airlines we still served free meals on china with real cutlery.
The unfortunate thing was that we didn’t carry that many people when compared to today. Flying was a quality experience back then. A real treat for most people.
I have space available pass privileges on my old airline but don’t even attempt to use it anymore because the flights are so full.
I really get steamed about the TSA. They refuse to do common sense things like profile. If our government was serious about protecting us the reasons for the TSA to exist would have been dealt with by now. But no! It appears to me that everyone has accepted this as a permanent feature of life. And that really angers me. Instead of railing at the airlines and the TSA personnel, we should all be getting on the Congress and President to really combat terrorism instead of cosmetic defensive gestures.
I will fly now but not overseas and only when absolutely necessary.
When I was temporarily rich (or thought I was rich) I flew back and forth from Portland to New York probably ten times during the 1990s. Because I have MS, and walk using a “forearm crutch,” I always asked for a wheelchair, and airline personnel were helpful and beyond polite and usually, once we were on the plane, allowed me to find another seat with more legroom. Sometimes I could even lie down sideways and yes, even fell asleep a few times, even once during a lot of turbulence when the plane dropped and bumped and I felt absolutely no fear. My best friend was a model, who introduced me to other models, and when I liked one model I gave her a book which she read during down time on a photoshoot, the coolness of the novel so impressing the famous photographer that he wanted to use her again. (She was in fact intelligent, if not that well educated. Most models, m or f, were bothered y the idea that people assumed they were dumb.)
I stayed at the Chelsea Hotel and took cabs everywhere and had a memorable time. Movie money.
This all ended in 2000, and since 9/11 I’ve never flown. It’s just sounded like too much of a hassle. I’ve driven the 5 1/2 hour drive to Vancouver BC, but even that trip is more trouble at the border than it ever used to be.
If I was called upon to do a book tour now I’m not sure what I’d do. If you don’t go, the publisher really feels like you’re letting down the side. I’m not sure though. It would really be an ordeal.
Most of my flying is cross-country flying. For short hops I usually drive (or am a passenger and someone else drives). Cross-country drives are a major undertaking in time AND money nowadays, between the price of motels and of gas.
You should spend $100 and get a Global Entry number and thereafter avoid the long security lines. Even in the busiest airports its a breeze.
I have no trouble at all falling asleep on a plane, once I’m done with the TSA kabuki theater routine. I get a window seat, even if I have to pay extra, settle in, and I’m usually asleep before take-off. I do have a pretty good ability to just tune out the noise and drift away.
I have noticed when you see people sleeping in public, it is usually guys. I take a 20 minute ferry ride several times a week, and it’s always men who fall asleep on the boat, myself included, and get the courtesy wake up knock from the deck crew…
I don’t snore and twitch though, that sounds a bit awkward to say the least.
God, I miss the breezy confidence the American Sixties!
I was a kid then, but I remember. Being a grownup was something to look forward to, something with style, class, and power. Had my first “drinky-poo” in Acapulco in 1968 (Very underage!).
Now Acapulco is in the hands of the Mexican druglords: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raI7jh8tokw
Neo, if you fly a lot, just get the noise-cancelling headphones.
One more thought: some of you remember that we used to “dress” to fly, or to travel in general, via any public conveyance. I would never have been allowed to board an airplane without wearing a dress and my Sunday shoes, and my brother would have his jacket and bowtie.
Now people wear pajamas and thongs, and even take Those off on the ride, showing their gnarly bare feet. Degoutant….
I’m a life-long poor sleeper so sleeping on a plane doesn’t happen, but I do my best to rest. I come prepared; layered clothing, my large cashmere scarf I can use as a blanket or roll for my neck, cashmere socks to keep my feet warm and water. My legs and feet swell on long trips so I start taking aspirin a few days before and continue til I get home. I bring surface, hand wipes and tissues. We fly home from Paris tomorrow. I check one bag and carry on another. The first leg my carry on has all my essential clothing; going home it has the gifts I’ve bought for family and friends. I don’t fear dying in a plane crash as I have a deep belief in God and figure I’ll be on this earth as long as is His plan for me. My father died in a helicopter crash 2 weeks after his 43rd birthday so I have personally experienced devastating loss. TSA is window dressing but how is that different than so many areas of our local, state and federal government? If possible, we would like to take one more trip to Paris at Christmas time (anytime in early December-it is extraordinary) with our 3 children and their families as our gift to them. After that, car travel for me in the USA and Canada.
I don’t have any option but flying since Elon Musk hasn’t come up with a car that I can drive over the Atlantic. But I must say that my trips from Frankfurt to Dulles aren’t too bad. Once we took a flight that had a stopover in Heathrow. That was horrible. I’ll never go near Heathrow again. Another time we had a stopover at Charles DeGaulle on the flight back. It’s not fun waiting for 2 hours when you are ready for bed.
The baggage restrictions are a pain, so I really pare down what I take. Sometimes there is a decent movie, but my Kindle is my life saver. The food is also terrible now. On the whole I guess things are better than when people had a couple of weeks of seasickness.
Like the rest of your commenters, if time allows and I can drive it, I will.
My problem with flying isn’t really the TSA, though they are annoying enough. It’s those airline seats. They are designed to to fit comfortably if you happen to be a petite ten year old girl. An adult male, not so much. I can put up with it for maybe an hour or so, but in that case, I would probably drive anyway.
Has anyone else besides me noticed that in Hollywood movies and television shows nearly everyone flies first class. Next time you see a scene in a movie or TV show that takes place on an airliner, take a gander at the seat they are sitting in. It’s certainly not your average coach seat.
Flying is so unpleasant I avoid it. Last year I drove from Virginia to New Mexico because I didn’t want to put up with the hassle of flying. The last time I flew I arrived at Dulles airport at 6 AM, flew to Atlanta, spent all day in Atlanta and finally arrived in Albuquerque about 6 PM. It was an all day trip.
I identify with JJ. Flying as a passenger used to be such a pleasant experience. But, as he noted, one reason for that was because it was expensive. Many of the issues that people find so onerous are a direct result of flying becoming so affordable.)
Given the whole frustrating package, including the time involved in getting to and through airports, I really don’t know why folks don’t just drive on trips of 300 miles or so. Neo, I love JB, and flew them for years between Virginia and California, but I don’t miss the experience..
I can tell those who chafe at flying in the cabin, that the pleasure of flying in the “best seat in the house” also eroded significantly. I would think twice about advising a youngster to go into an airline career at this point.
Beverly, our culture has become so coarse across the board. Dressing up a bit for an event, including flying, going to dinner, a show, or church used to highlight the occasion as special. I wonder how many people ever experience that now?
you cant do crap about things like you describe
and in fact, i nearly got kicked off a plan last time in hong kong because the seats are now so small and compacted that they could not get the belt tightened to take off and were going to make a criminal out of me for being 6’3″.. (and i am NOT overweight either… )
by the way, as a child i met sanatra..
the man i mentioned before that was a family friend and such “Maurice Seymour” who took the photos for the Russian Balllet and was a great family friend… introduced my dad and i (late 1970s early 1980s)… as dad did photo touch up on 4×5 negatives decades before photoshop and computers existed… it was interesting to meet many of these people in passing… after all, most of them i met in the 70s when i was younger than 13… what a weird mix ranging from old time greats to what was then, up and coming porn stars of super fame, strippers, and even childrens shows… I used to hate it when dad had to do work for Tony Randall… his personality was much like the odd couple character… very much..
imagine the suprise when i grew up and found out the friend Herbert Streicher, was Peter Long aka Harry Reems of Deep Throat fame.. 🙂
Another person that was interesting in passing was Suzzan Landow… turns out she was a very famous stripper that Maurice did her shots for.
then i was lucky to get to know another famous man who has passed that maybe neo knows or knows of.
Charles Ponte… 🙂
Ponte ran a music store on the side on 48th street. he also started a double reed thing (oboe is a double reed insrument)
when i was to play clarinet and lincoln center, dads friend maurice said… cmon, lets get your son a new one… (maurice wife was an opera singer, his eldest daughter was my sisters age and played a strat (stratavarius)… they wanted us to date, etc)
well, we went… i remember going to the back and standing with these people.. charles was a nice guy to me… he and seymour would talk a bit.. .and we looked at instruments..
being the 1970s… they were expensive..
we ended up with something that he put together for us… a beautiful instrument… and we paid $300 for it.
(you could rent a nice apartment for under $50)
i still have that instrument..
i found out years later that in no way was it worth 300
in fact today, its worth over $15,000 given its a Buffet Crampon professional model from that long ago (you can get one for about 2-3 grand new today)
The R13 is a big favorite of some very famous players even today, and the old ones are treasured since the wood they are made from is not exactly common.
ah well
now i am a nothing waiting to die
and cant do a thing about it..
i made wrong choices and thats that…
Why would you put a shop selling luggage in the departure lounge at an airport? I suppose some people might bring their clothing etc loose to the airport, buy a suitcase and pack it there but I really can’t imagine it.
I recently flew across the Country, too…in my own 200 MPH airplane that I built myself. I didn’t wait in a single TSA line, either!