Spanx: spanking new?
Sara Blakely, the inventor of Spanx, is a billionaire.
My goodness. I knew Spanx were (was?) big, but I had no idea. No idea!
In case you don’t know what Spanx are (is?), one picture is worth at least 500 words:
I said “one picture,” but that doesn’t mean there’s one type of Spanx. The original has proliferated into high ones, extra-strong ones, extra-long ones, strategically reinforced ones, and more.
But let me clue you in, folks: it’s all girdles by another name.
I grew up in an era when the girdle was almost as requisite a female undergarment as the bra. It was a rite of passage for little girls, a sort of “now you are a woman” thing. Whether slim or chunky, we teens and even preteens were required to wear them, not just in order to be a mite thinner, but for propriety’s sake (no jiggle, you see).
I was incredibly happy when the 60s liberated us from their terribly confining (actually, stifling) embrace. Simply put, they were painful. At least, they were to me.
What’s more, they didn’t really make anyone look much thinner. They just smoothed the adipose around and compressed it in a different way, creating an artificial container for the very same stuff, and pushing the unfettered remainder around in a way that—well, I’ll stop here, and leave the rest to the imagination.
Spanx—which I have actually tried on, but have never bought—are way too similar. Yes, they’re made out of thinner fabric, and they look more like pantyhose so they don’t have that old-lady-girdle look. They’re probably a bit easier to get into and out of, and a trifle more comfy, which is a plus. But that doesn’t make them either easy or comfy, and it puzzles me that so many women buy them. I can’t figure it out.
But that’s what makes Sara Blakely a billionaire, and me—not.
it puzzles me that so many women buy them
It’s cheaper than botox or plastic surgery. Some women go for the no-panty lines look.
*shrugs*
I’m back to wondering how much of a given woman’s appearance is real, and how much of it is technology of one sort or another?
They’re pretty tough to get into, not something you want your husband/boyfriend to witness. I wear them for special occassions (weddings, funerals, etc.) when I want a smooth line and I don’t want to fuss with my clothes during the event. I find them fairly uncomfortable to wear, they’re ridiculous when you have to pee (or worse, #2!). I can only manage to wear them for a few hours. But they keep things smoothed out, reducing lumps and rolls. Unless you squash yourself into too-small Spanx, and then you look like stuffed sausage. Not an improvement, IMO. You can usually tell when someone is wearing Spanx, they look oddly encased and a bit stiff.
I R A Darth Aggie: is it real or is it memorex?
The only way to know is to live with her. And even then, with all the cosmetic surgery these days, sometimes it’s really hard to know.
From Harpers Magazine, Oct 1862:
While thousands fall by clashing swords, ten thousand fall by corset boards; yet giddy females (thoughtless train!) for sake of fashion yield to pain
(Appears to actually date from about 10 years earlier)
A friend of mine was at a convention with coworkers, one of whom had brought some really tight jeans. And I mean *tight*. The story was that it took the two of them a long, difficult, struggle to get the lady into them. So there you are, woman and tight clothes, a story for the ages.
I always hated them, and, that was long before I would have worried about getting one off. Likewise high heels, which are an orthopaedic abomination. Occasionally I meet a young woman, say, half my age, who wears those longish cotton dresses, not ironed, showing half a calf length of unshaven leg. Shazzam, takes me back about forty years. [sound of slapping my own face]
I must be very retro, because I don’t want my honey to be something other than what she is. We are in our early to mid 60s and we’ve seen the changes that 40 years bring. There is nothing to hide and no reason to pretend. She looks like the love of my life and I know she feels the same. We don’t need no stinkin’ spandex.
However, I would not for a minute hesitate to have created something like spandex that made me a billionaire. (I’m just not inventive enough.) When its all said and done there is nothing wrong with lots of money. 😉
PS – The derriere in the photo doesn’t need spandex; its a young one in the prime.
vis the movie Summer Rental
Now that I think of it the material they used in those 50’s girdles was also used in trampolines.
For me it’s a budget issue. Three pairs of Spanx pantyhose have lasted four years without running, pilling, or getting the elephant-ankles sag. I don’t find them uncomfortable, but I’m not trying to smooth anything, just have a neat appearance.
I’d never heard of Spanx. My honey doesn’t need such fakery. I clicked on your link to the Spanx site. Then I went to Legal Insurrection and up popped an ad for Spanx. Coincidence or spooky tracking by our good friends at Google?
Spanx also popped up on “The Other McCain”, “Hot Air” and “PJ Media”.
I remember the girdles of the past. To me it was also those little metal thingies that held your nylons up (before pantyhose). Try sitting for a while on those little torture things.
Concerning the comment on the Spanx hose, I used to wear the L’eggs version of support hose for the same reason of being longer lasting. Then I realized that they were actually better for my legs in getting the blood circulating.
Ummmm, from someone who went through USMC boot camp in 1977, girdles were still required when in uniform – nevermind that, after 8 weeks of daily PT {physical training}, there was very little “jiggle” 😉
Semper Fi’
DM
My girlfriend is all about looks. She wears impossible heels, the clothes are all tasteful yet sexy and sophisticated at the same time.
However she cannot stand pantyhose or anything confining like that. She’ll wear the stockings for the brief 5 minutes 🙂 and consider it worth the purchase…
Diamond – that is hillarious. I wonder when that changed. I joined the Navy in 1988 and there was smoking in the workplace. In 1991 it moved outside the building and then the bases became smoke free some time later. How we’ve evolved !
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