Hello Parent 1, Hello Parent 2
Oh boy, speaking of depressing news, we now have this:
The words “mother” and “father” will be removed from U.S. passport applications and replaced with gender neutral terminology, the State Department says.
“The words in the old form were ”˜mother’ and ”˜father,’” said Brenda Sprague, deputy assistant Secretary of State for Passport Services. “They are now ”˜parent one’ and ”˜parent two.’
I’m wondering whether this new directive could lead to all sorts of soul-searching and angst about which parent is the primary parent #1 and which the secondary #2. We wouldn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, would we?
And I suppose it wouldn’t have been enough to have two types of passport application forms, one traditional and one with the new gender neutral expressions, and allow people to choose.
But the whole thing has inspired me to a rewrite of a great classic (apologies to the genius of the original):
Hi Parent One, hi Parent Two,
Here I am, a form declarant who
Can’t decide which one of you is
My primary parent so I’ll just say “screw this.”
I’ll stay home and not go traveling
My trip plans are fast unraveling
Rent a movie, on Netflix then
Have some ice cream with some M&M’s to mix in.
Life has gotten very complex,
Should I also, list my mom’s ex
My stepdad who, really raised me
Even though I don’t recall he ever praised me.
Life’s relentlessly PC now,
Everybody, with a plea now
It’s the right way, dontcha see now,
But excuse me I think I must go and pee now.
Here’s the original, just in case you want a refresher:
[ADDENDUM: I just remembered another pop culture connection. The Coneheads of Saturday Night Live fame foreshadowed this development in the 70s:
Much humor derives from the Coneheads’ use of over-technical dialogue, such as referring to food as “consumables”, and saying “I summon you” to ask to speak to another person. The somewhat popular term “parental unit” also comes from the sketches.
We are all Coneheads now.]
Neo,
I just posted this link at your depressing column post:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html
It ties in here to the general theme of parents. Do read it.
Thanks for the Alan Sherman song. My mom and dad both loved it , and I used to hear it a lot when I was a kid. “Disregard” is one of the first “big words” I learned back about the time I entered kindergarten.
Truly these are the End Times.
Neo, did you see this?
President Barack Obama, in a setback to hopes for the quick closing of the Guantanamo Bay prison, reluctantly signed a bill on Friday barring suspects held there from being brought to the United States for trial.
No attack on the family here. Nosir. Just ask Parental Unit #1 or Parental Unit #2. They’ll tell you that liberalism creates strong families.
Occam’s Beard: your comment gave me the idea for an addendum. See post for added observation.
I think the Spanish started this parent1/parent2 thing. Another great idea from Eurolibs.
Yes little Johnny, you have a question?
Yes mam. Why do you give us so much parent#1f***ing homework? 🙂
The tail is wagging the dog in this country.
I knew this was coming 5-10 years ago. As a teacher, I knew someday I’d be made uncomfortable for referring to mothers and fathers.
I guess I’m willing to plead guilty to being insane, if the alternative means complete sexual confusion.
My reaction to this is a sort of “yup,” because it’s only remarkable in that it’s so unsurprising. No doubt in normal families it’ll be mom who’s number one because we wouldn’t want her feeling oppressed by teh patriarchy, heavens no!
Full speed ahead to Absurdistan!
I read this thrice over and still chuckle. Hope you like. When Hello Muddah came out was my fist year at camp. I had to grill Mom about the Ulysses line.
Hope you like.
http://nolanimrod.com/2011/01/09/more-parent-one-two/
It’s discriminatory to call the guardians “parent1” and “parent2” as the guardians of a child may be parents in no sense of the word, and, of course, in these days of sub, dooms, polyamory, and blended families, who has only two guardians?
As I recall Spain made this change years ago. EUropeans are advancing the progressive agenda now as in the 1930s. I hope it won’t take another world war to halt it.
Re that WSJ link of mine on Chinese mothers: The article had about 1200 comments when I checked earlier today. Parenting is obviously a hot issue these days.
ove can last: Brain activity of those in love long term similar to those newly in love
January 10th, 2011 in Medicine & Health / Neuroscience
Love can last: Imaging study shows brain activity of those in love long term similar to those newly in love
Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) showing group brain activations of individuals recently fallen in love (at left) compared with long-term married and in love individuals shows similar neural activity in the ventral tegmental area (VTA) of the brain. Long-term married individuals also show activation within another area of the brain (substantia nigra).
(PhysOrg.com) — Can science prove that romantic love can last? A new study led by Bianca Acevedo, Ph.D., and Arthur Aron, Ph.D., of the Department of Psychology at Stony Brook University, and colleagues, compared the neural correlates of long-term married and in love individuals with individuals who had recently fallen in love.
They discovered highly similar brain activity in regions associated with reward, motivation and “wanting” in both sets of couples. In an article titled, “Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love,” reported online in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, the study is the first to image and analyze the neural correlates of people in long-term romantic love and could give scientists clues as to why couples stay in love.
The research team used functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) to scan the brains of 10 women and 7 men who reported that they were still intensely in love with their spouse after an average of 21 years of marriage. Participants viewed facial images of their partner, and control images including a close friend, a highly-familiar acquaintance, and a low-familiar person. Brain activity was measured while participants viewed the facial images.
The researchers then compared the fMRI imaging results with those from an earlier experiment (Aron et al., 2005) that used similar fMRI scanning methods with 10 women and 7 men who had fallen madly in love within the past year.
“We found many very clear similarities between those who were in love long term and those who had just fallen madly in love,” says Dr. Aron, referring to key reward and motivation regions of the brain, largely parts of the dopamine-rich ventral tegmental area (VTA). “In this latest study, the VTA showed greater response to images of a long-term partner when compared with images of a close friend or any of the other facial images.”
“Interestingly, the same VTA region showed greater activation for those in the long-term couple group who scored especially high on romantic love scales and a closeness scale based on questionnaires,” adds Dr. Acevedo.
Overall, Drs. Acevedo and Aron explain that the brain imaging data on the long-term couples suggest that reward-value associated with a long-term partner may be sustained, similar to new love. Additionally, the results support theories proposing that there might be specific brain mechanisms by which romantic love is sustained in some long-term relationships.
While the mysteries of romantic love and how love can be maintained long term may never be fully understood by humans, Drs. Acevedo and Aron believe that the study provides evidence and possibly powerful clues to what may be essential activity in the brain for love to last.
Some other novel results from the study include: greater closeness with the partner was associated with activity reflecting reward and motivation (in the VTA and substantia nigra), as well as human awareness (middle insula and anterior cingulate cortex); relationship length was significantly associated with activity of the ventral and dorsal striatum, similar to individuals who yearn for a deceased loved one or experience cocaine-induced high, thus linking attachment bonds with addiction-related properties; and sexual frequency was positively associated with activity of the posterior hippocampus, in an area found in studies of hunger and craving, as well as for obsession and early-stage love.
Provided by Stony Brook University
Well I guess I am parent number 2.
The position of parent number 1 is currently vacant.