My mother has another adventure
Many of you have followed the story of my mother’s stroke and rehabilitation, and her move back to assisted living in New York, where she’s been doing pretty well for the last four years.
“Doing pretty well” at the age of 96 is not quite the same as doing pretty well at forty or fifty. But, as my mother says, “I can’t complain. Actually, I could; but I won’t.”
She had reached a certain homeostatic equanimity: walking with a walker, doing a lot of reading, and needing assistance only for taking her medications and showering. And this despite the fact that the staff at her initial rehab facility five years ago had predicted she would need 24-hour-a-day assistance for the rest of her life.
Doing pretty well—until last Thursday, that is, when I got one of those dread phone calls. This one was from my sister-in-law, saying that my mother had fallen and had been rushed to the emergency room with a broken hip.
My first reaction was a short expletive. I know the score on broken hips in the elderly, and my mother is nothing if not elderly.
The first good news we got was that her heart was strong enough to withstand surgery. The second was that the procedure (partial hip replacement) had gone well. The third was that she didn’t have any of the extra confusion so many elderly people get from the anesthetic. The fourth was that she seems to be doing okay painwise after having been taken off morphine two days ago (her surgery was Saturday).
And the fifth, which I witnessed yesterday (having come down to New York to spell off my brother and sister-in-law), was that she took a few steps. I would not have believed it had I not seen it myself. Two youngish physical therapists came by and announced that she was going to stand, and my mother’s reasonable response of “No, I’m not!” was overruled.
With only a single muttered “It hurts!,” my mother cooperated, allowing them to support her heavily while she leaned on her walker, stood, and took a couple of tiny shuffles forward and back. Then she sat down on the edge of the bed and did it again at their behest.
I well know that the road ahead contains many possible pitfalls. But after witnessing that scene—and after one of the therapists turned to me and said, “Your mother must have a very high pain threshold”—I have to admit that my mother seems to have a lot more grit than anyone ever gave her credit for. Which is a good thing, because extreme old age is not for sissies.
[ADDENDUM: I’m not crazy enough to think this sort of thing is in the future for my mother and me—but take a look at this perfectly astounding mother-daughter duo:
I hope for the best. I am reminded of something my uncle’s mother told me: “Being 93 isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” [uncle by marriage, so not my grandmother]
As one who has, indeed, followed your Mother’s ups and downs here I am happy to read this. Not happy, of course, that she initially fell and had the break, but that she seems to be recovering more like someone 20 years her junior! Reading about her here she is familiar to me and I find myself cheering her on when you post of her latest triumphs. And this is indeed a triumph. Such spunk! Such grit! What a remarkable woman she seems to be. All the best to you both.
Best wishes to your mother on a speedy recovery. Another lesson in how to behave from our parents. I hope I have that much grit if my turn comes.
“as my mother says, “I can’t complain. Actually, I could; but I won’t.”
She sounds like a fine lady.
She is enduring proof that defeat and surrender are well-expunged from one’s vocabulary re things medical.
My 92-year old aunt had a total hip replacement last month. There is a milestone Medicare sets for how far you can walk, and when you reach it, they will no longer pay for rehab. She reached it in a week instead of the normal month. She’s now happily walking with a walker she doesn’t need at all.
I wish the same for your mother.
An amazing woman by the sound of it. Hopes and prayers for the best.
Sounds like a very spunky woman. Attitude is very helpful in recovery. My prayers as well.
Among gerontologists it is said the secret to longevity is to select your parents carefully. You seem to have done that.
Among people who went through the Depression and WW II there is an inner toughness. My late mother used to say that when faced with adversity you just mush on. She also said that the problem with young people is they expect to be happy.
Thanks Neo! What a wonderful testimony of inner strength and perseverance. Life is good – not easy, just good….but good is enough!
Bouncing back from major surgery at 96, with a positive spirit and sense of humor (the most important thing), and still in assisted living to boot; as long as you can still have a little fun together you are blessed…
Sorry to hear about her fall – but glad to hear she’s being scrappy!
Hmmm…wonder if that particular green apple fell far from the tree.
At any rate, I hope she gets better soon!
Your mom is an inspiration. And I find readers far more appealing than weightlifters. I hope she knows she has an internet fan club.
I pray for the best for her and you. Old age comes quickly. In a conversation with my 92 year old grandfather this past long weekend, I noted how at 92, with his parents gone for more than half a century, he still spoke of his paternal parent as “papa”.
Saying a prayer for your Mother’s speedy recovery. With her spirit it sounds like she will be up and around much quicker than one would expect. Old age, as they say, is not for sissies.
I was surprised to see the video of Kelly Nelson and her daughter, Colleen. I was at the show in Portland, Oregon when they posed down for the championship. That was when I was still entering Masters bodybuilding contests. Kelly’s boy friend, Kjell Bakke, was the fellow that got me into the sport. It was great fun and the people I met were very friendly and encouraging. It was not about egos, it was about staying in shape and having fun while doing it. Have not seen Kelly in a few years, but it looks like she is still pumping iron and hanging in there.
I’m glad to hear your mother is doing OK, neo. I hope she continues to recover.
Here’s hoping that your mother continues to recover and that she is soon again doing “pretty well”.
Oh, neo, I’m glad to hear your mom’s doing well. Yes, as Ronnie says, life is good — not easy, but good. Such a spunky lady! She’s done much to make it good for you, too.
I understand what you mean about the video, but you never know what might yet be in store for you!
I shall be thinking of you both.
All the best and speedy recovery for your mother.
Everyone reading this post is probably tries the situation on themselves…I did, anyway.
And I have to say: I hope not to live that long.
I know I will have no Medicaid or Medicare available, and I have very small retirement account – certainly not enough to buy a non-group insurance that would pay for assisted living facility.
The future is bleak, and I don’t want to live it when old and frail.
Prayers up for your mother’s continued recovery!
I too, am glad to read of her getting better and making positive progress. I know she can reduce any pain she may have by drinking Noni Juice.
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How it works on burns it totally amazing! It takes the pain away and heals the burn quickly!
At 62, I was still playing Beach Volleyball
in the deep sands of Manhattan Beach, CA. and my muscles used to be really sore for the next few days after playing, This stopped as soon as I started drinking Noni Juice! (I am, at nearly 76, still playing beach volleyball.)
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Please, Take Care!
Neil
I’m not an expert, but from my limited experience I’ve concluded that a partial or total hip replacement (when possible) is the best strategy when an elderly patient breaks his/her hip. It seems that the patient is able to stand and walk much more quickly, and spends less time on his or her back. Also, a total hip replacement apparently can alleviate arthritis in that joint, and eventually will leave the patient with even less pain than before the injury.
Its good to hear about good news, especially after the bad news thats in the media. Best wishes to your mom. She sounds like an impressive, strong woman.
Sorry to read about your Mom. Please extend my best wishes for her recovery. All the best.
OsoPardo
My wife takes real good care of herself. I used to.
But, looking at Sylvester Stallone in the ‘Expendables’ maybe I should get back into the gym.
God bless you and your Mom, Neo. She sounds like a wonderful woman.
I have always hoped that humour, faith, and love of life brings a reward. Your equanimity is at least somewhat passed down. Its just not possible to be 96 and that resilient and aware without wonderful qualities. It is a morale builder. God bless her.