Are older people happier?
Do people get happier as they get older? I’d like to think so, at least. And if this sort of research can be believed, there’s a fair amount of evidence that it’s true.
But it seems to me there’s a huge glaring flaw in many of these studies. Any research that compares the attitudes and/or reactions of present-day young people to those of present-day old people would be comparing apples to oranges. Even if the populations are matched socioeconomically, educationally, and in every other which way, one cannot ignore the huge elephant in the room represented by generational differences.
Since the world in which today’s young people were raised is exceedingly different from the one in which today’s old people were raised, there’s no reason to believe any variations found between the experimental groups are not due to such distinctions, Longitudinal studies—in which the same people are followed from youth to age—would avoid that problem. But the obvious drawback is the length of time needed to get results.
Another problem with non-longitudinal research on this issue is that there’s no reason to believe that old people represent a random group. After all, the elderly are by definition survivors, and perhaps those who last longest and manage to get old were happier to begin.
Retrospective self-reports—as in one of the studies at the link, in which 6 out of 10 elderly respondents said “they get more respect and feel less stress than when they were younger”—rely on memory (and you know what they say about old people’s memories!) and are therefore suspect.
And of course there’s also the question of how “elderly” is defined. For some of the studies it’s somewhere in the 60s (too close for comfort, if you ask me). But in today’s world, 65 is the new—well, I’m not sure, but it’s not the old geezerhood it used to be. Let’s hope so, any way.
Here are some of my favorite old people from the past—who don’t look quite as old to me as they used to when the ad was first made in 1984:
I think it’s reasonable to assume that older people get happier because they realize all the reasons they have to be happy and also realize all the reasons they used to have for not being happy are not necessarily valid. Also, most people figure out more things as they get older and therefore can do the right things to help themselves be happy.
Me? With a wife and four kids, two of them teenagers and the other two close, I don’t have the time nor energy to be unhappy.
I was going to make a joke comparing Nancy Pelosi to Clara Peller, but realized that would be an insult to the late Ms. Peller, who charmed us with her iconic phrase.
ALthough I was a very happy camper, and growing happier with the years, my happiness died 5 years ago, the day my wife of 38 years died. Now I grumpily go along to get along, just to pass the time.
Aging doesn’t make you less happy or cranky, it only reinforces what you were 30 years ago.
A high school friend wrote me the other day and asked what I thought it would be like to go back to the 50s and live in our little home town (800 people) in the Colorado Rockies. It didn’t take me long to decide it would be just short of Heaven. But then we were young, strong, full of hope, energy, and leaped out of bed looking forward to each new day. The world and its troubles seemed much more distant than today. The Korean War was going, and we were certainly going in the service as soon as we finished school. That prospect seemed not that awful at the time. Anyway we climbed mountains, skied, fished, hunted, and awkwardly chased after our teen loves. It was a marvelous time and I’m very thankful for the memories.
My wife of 54 years and I are still doing things together and we’re even better friends than we were when we were younger. We’ve got our health issues but nothing yet life threatening. It looks like, unless Nancy, Harry and our POTUS decide to confiscate our IRAs, we’ll have enough money to pay our bills for another few years. We are engaged with life and I’d say we are happy, but not markedly more so than we were at an earlier age.
Our son was killed 31 years ago and that is a shadow that never quite goes away. It does not mean the end of happiness, but for a number of years after his death we struggled to regain a sense of peace and inner joy. Faith, not giving in to hopelessness, and trying to see the good in life around us brought us through.
Check in with me in ten years when I may be sitting in an old folks home having to be fed and dressed by someone else. That’ll be the test of my happiness in old age.
J.J., you and your wife have my greatest sympathy for the loss of your son. I do not know how one goes on after that. I think it must be the hardest of things, to survive one’s child.
I am so glad you were both brought through.
The old folks’ home–well, that’ll be another test in a life that is full of tests, won’t it. In some ways, old age is a process rather than a stage, just like the earlier bits.
Anyway, my husband and I are pretty happy right now.
JJ: my sympathies on your loss, as well. A terrible thing to have to endure.
On the other hand—at least, if some of the mega-elderly people I know are any indication—quite a few people get happier in extreme old age. Not sure why, but I’ve seen it a number of times.
Steve G and JJ, my deepest sympathies.
Many thanks for your kind words – betsyb, neo, Mrs. Whatsit.
I have a friend whose wife is in a nursing home with alzheimers. He has COPD and, though able to live alone and do the necessities, his life is quite restricted. Some days he rages away and I listen because he needs to get that out of his system. Then for many days he goes along as if everything was fine. Every where I look I see heroes and heroines marching along the path we all must tread. Some say that old age is not for sissies and that seems an apt saying.
I have accepted that there are many answers we will never know and that, whether it is apparent to me or not, the Universe is, no doubt, unfolding as it should. And that includes our present troubles here in the home of the brave, land of the free. Maybe that is part of the secret to being happy in old age.
When asked why she was happy, a 104 year old woman answered, “no peer pressure”.