Obama the non-philanderer
Several people have asked me in the comments section of this post to explain the following statement of mine:
It’s almost incomprehensible that Obama would cheat on his wife; he’s too controlled, for one thing.
I admit that the explanation I offered was a rather minimal and inadequate one. My statement was based mostly on a hunch, a gut feeling, an intuitive perception that Obama’s coolness and control extends to that particular aspect of his life.
I could be wrong, of course; I’m certainly not privy to Obama’s bedroom activities. But let me try to explain by comparing him to other presidents.
Take the example of Bill Clinton. Quite a contrast, no? He not only had a long-held reputation as a womanizer even before being elected, but on a personal level he always gave the impression of a man of great appetite and exuberance, both for food and for people and for life. He never could be described as a cool character, nor as a controlled and disciplined one, even when wearing shades and playing the saxophone. It took no stretch of the imagination to see him as a philanderer. And of course, after a while, we didn’t have to imagine it—we got all the salacious details.
Lyndon Johnson was another president whose appetites were—shall we say—hearty. He was famously ribald and earthy as well. It’s no surprise whatsoever that he was serially unfaithful, despite having a loving marriage. It helped that he had an understanding wife, one who said “No matter what, I knew he loved me best” (see this for more).
But Obama is none of those things. Can you imagine him overeating, for example? I cannot. And although I know that an appetite for food and one for philandering do not necessarily go together, I can’t help but sense that Obama isn’t tempted that much to stray, and even if he were he wouldn’t risk it. It’s part of what Ann Althouse (in a different context) calls his “infuriatingly bland” manner—a lack of the spark of passion.
Jimmy Carter was another in that mold, although for different reasons. For example, Carter was a devout Christian—although we certainly know that doesn’t necessarily stop a person from messing around. But somehow, his persona was such that when Carter stated in a 1976 Playboy interview that he’d “looked on a lot of women with lust” and “committed adultery in [his] heart many times,” it seemed more of an attempt to make himself appear macho than a heartfelt confession.
JFK was different. He was cool, all right. But he was raised in a family that trained him in compulsive womanizing, almost considering it a requirement for manhood, including the example of his own father. Whatever running around Obama’s father may have done, Obama wasn’t exposed to it during his formative years.
Obama’s vices of the flesh seem to be limited to smoking, and in his early days to drugs such as pot and cocaine. I’m not saying he was or is asexual; he writes about ex-girlfriends in Dreams From My Father, and I assume that he and Michelle have whatever passes for a regular sex life in the White House, what with the Secret Service and all. But illicit sex never seems to have been one of Obama’s big temptations.
My impression of Obama’s inner life is mere supposition, of course. But I have long been impressed by his interest in control and coolness, especially after I read this article in August of 2008 about the contrast between the offices of then-candidates John McCain and Barack Obama. It’s worthwhile to read the whole thing, but here are some excerpts:
McCain’s office oozes comfy clutter and informality: random piles of books, a fortune-cookie message taped to the desk, an abundance of tchotchkes and bric-a-brac.
Obama’s office feels more like a gallery of modern art: precisely placed objects, sparsely adorned surfaces, clean lines, choreographed displays…
[Obama] played a big part in putting it all together,” said Ashley Tate-Gilmore, the Illinois senator’s executive assistant—right down to selecting the straw-colored tint of the walls and carpeting. When the office was due for new carpeting, he wanted exactly what he had before. That particular carpeting had been discontinued, but Senate officials scrounged around to find an identical replacement.
The decor is carefully choreographed. When an assistant shifted the location of one painting while Obama was away, the senator had it moved back…
Obama’s desktop, once used by former Illinois Sen. Paul Simon, is a testament to discipline.
It is home to two family photos, a very uncrowded inbox, a mug full of pens, and little else.
Of course, such a huge effort at control often means there’s something brewing underneath that might just threaten to break through. In Obama’s case, here’s the only clue:
Are there any cracks in all of this office discipline?
Obama does doodle, his aides report.
And although “doodle” can have a ribald meaning as well, somehow I doubt that’s what Obama’s aides were talking about.
I’ll go with Option C: one, or at most two, very controlled, ultra-secret affairs during his marriage, and none since he became a presidential candidate.
I also believe that Obama has had a few best friends somewhere along the line but who are they? This man can keep his secrets.
The description of his office reminds me of a boss I once had who spent a fortune furnishing and decorating (and painting) his office so it would be just so. He was also something of a womanizer, but not in the Bill Clinton model. He liked to hire young women for jobs they weren’t quite ready for and then have them look up to him as the expert. He’d go out drinking and socializing with a few of his young friends from the office on a regular basis. No one knew if he actually had affairs with any of the young women, but it looked suspicious. He was definitely a narcissist, though, much like our young, egotistical president.
As far as desks go, mine is in the McCain mode…but I know where everything is. But otherwise…
A picture of Einstein’s desk was also a monument to a messy desktop.
Interestingly enough, one certified genius I knew – Dick Feynman – had an office that made mine look compulsively neat…as was his office blackboard.
But the blackboard had the famous quote: “When I cannot create, I do not understand.” That alone made the room worthwhile.
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Judging people by the style of surroindings they create for themselves is part of my professional skills as interior designer.
A few years ago I knew (professionally) two partners, both architects, both graduates of Harvard, of approximately same age. Their personalities and organizing styles could not be more different.
First: strict modernist, a model husband and doting father of a spoiled teenage girl. His desk was more sparse than Obama’s; by the nature of the job he had to manage simultaneously several projects in various stages of design and/or construction – and you would never know that by looking at his desk. Besides a few written notes there were 2 miniature models of buildings by his favorite architects (as paperweights), engineering and architectural scale (one of each), a neat pile of drawings, 4 good quality art markers and 3 fine-tip pens (black, blue and red). That’s it. He was always precise and calm in communications, in 5.5 years I remember him raising his voice just about 3 times. He is a solid professional, steadily bringing small but consistent flow of clients to the company. Favorite color scheme: black, gray and white. Favorite lunch – the same as long as I knew him, brought from home – a yogurt, an apple, a tuna sandwich on rye. If I regret sometimes that I left the company, it’s on his behalf.
Second: an “artistic” personality. A satin green bow tie, striped blue shirt, yellow socks. A frightened and always apologetic girlfriend of 20 years. The papers, samples and code books are not only in his office (desk, credenza and round table covered), but in 10-person conference room (spilling on the floor) and on two desks in the studio. You always knew when he arrived – most irritating pitch of voice. Which he knew how to make almost silent if he wanted to spy on employees. Petty, conniving, always quarreling with contractors and enjoying tormenting designers whom he exploited. At least one of his projects I know of had to be fought for in arbitration. Favorite color scheme…er…imagine Firebird. Favorite lunch – at Le Cirque. He’s a regular feature on all industry gatherings, a very sociable person and a member of number of professional associations and boards. Has reputation of a brilliant architect with rare but big-bucks projects behind his name.
Why am I saying it all, at such length? Appearances are deceiving; the most neat and controlled person not necessarily is a bland character with hidden fears and a skeleton or two in his closet, and, contrary, a bon vivant on appearance might proved to be a very difficult person nursing few psychoses and who makes the life of those close to him living hell.
During WW II the OSS commissioned a psychoanalytic study of Hitler that was quite useful and revealing.
I imagine someone — Hillary, the RNC, someone — must have done a similar study on Obama.
Not that Obama is Hitler by any stretch, but he is a mysterious fellow that no one, as far as I can tell, really understands. Yet he is the most powerful person on the planet right now.
It’d be nice to have a better idea of what makes Obama run. I’m hoping that by the time he is out of office we might have a better idea.
I love this “Elect me and find out” campaign strategy.
Beige could well describe most things about Obama,but it’s all for show.As for the First Couple, they seem uncomfortable around each other, and it’s hard to imagine them having a hot sex life, especially with the MIL just down the hall.There’s a ton repressed about Barry Obama, and watching his veneer crack from time to time, is about the only pleasure I can get from enduring this fakir.
“Can you imagine him overeating, for example?”
What if there was a big sale on arugula at the Whole Foods? All bets might be off at that point.
He loves himself more than women.
Can you imagine him overeating, for example?
I can imagine Obama bulimic.
I don’t think he’s so controlled that he manages wholly to suppress his appetites. I believe that he manages to indulge them secretly and conceal his cheating.
“It is home to two family photos, a very uncrowded inbox, a mug full of pens, and little else. ”
It may reflect something quite simple, that past the impressive image and facade is a veneer lacking substantial details of depth, and that perhaps the essential emptiness of his working desk indicates that there isn’t really a whole lot going on with this guy intellectually; And that’s partially, if not precisely, how he could become an authentic manchurian candidate of his time, the pliable vehicle for the ideologues and real power brokers in the Democratic Party and their political ambitions, cornering voters for the shallowest of reasons, his contrived racial identity, and the vague opiate of notions of hope and change.
I just finished reading American History in Black & White, by David Barton; The Democrats have a long racist history behind them, where as an institution there is probably more blame for the current economic status and problems of our American black culture that could and should be laid at the Democrats doorway, than to any other identifiable group. How ironic to see their current facade, and how they’ve morphed into demagogues of today’s social issues, yet in so many respects they are the same dishonest, incompetent blowhards as ever; But now with an oblivious voter base, including the majority of Jews and Blacks, who don’t seem to give a thought to the ramifications that these left-wing power politics will have for the future of their children and their elderly.
Doodling? How about reading those thousand page tomes of legislation he’s foisting on the American public…
I agree with Amy. There is a remarkable vanity about the man.
I’d also say it has something to do with his Muslim upbringing. The Moooslims place a certain value of personal fastidiousness. To me, it evokes a glassy, sterile mindset. It might be where his lack of originality stems from. He’s good at regurgitating other people’s thoughts but flounders when asked to be creative.
Remember “FOB” (Friends Of Bill)?
Can’t imagine “FOO” (Friends of Obama).
“I’d also say it has something to do with his Muslim upbringing. The Moooslims place a certain value of personal fastidiousness.”
Yes, but as a type with Obama, it’s all on the surface. Splash water on face, hands, and feet before praying, but bathe the remainder of the body…whenever. That’s why those crowds of supposedly “ritually pure” Muslims stink like a billygoat’s rear end when you’re downwind on a hot day. Trust me, I’ve experienced this in person. Unpleasant doesn’t begin to describe it.
I think Obama’s most intimate relationship is with his left hand. Narcissism brought to its logical conclusion.
Two insights into Obama.
Richard Epstein discusses Barack Obama
Richard Epstein is the James Parker Hall Distinguished Service Professor of Law at the University of Chicago, where he has taught since 1972. He was a colleague of Barack Obama when Obama taught as an instructor. Epstein had mutual friends with Obama, and talked to Obama about some issues. His main description is that Obama is under complete self-control
“Obama worked as a community organizer and was in many cases very constructive. He organized public/private partnerships to help the homeless and downtrodden.”
“But, the difficulty you get, for someone who has only worked in that situation, is that he believes the creation of private wealth is something the government cannot influence or destroy. He has many fancy redistribution schemes, in addition to his health plan and new labor laws, which are all wealth killers.”
Obama and God
When God talks to you through your inner voice, it is even better than prayer. Obama experiences this every day, in his own words, revealed in a March 2004 interview with a reporter on religious issues. It may be good when a person declares their submision to God. It may be bad when he claims to have a daily conversation.
Judging people by the style of surroindings they create for themselves is part of my professional skills as interior designer.
I consume indoor space with a (jaundiced) aesthetic eye. I appreciate the work and talents of a good interior designer (don’t call them ‘decorators!’).
My workspace is wholly different than my home. I work as a software engineer with an Air Force program on base. Because of the long, long hours, seemingly everyone plasters their corner of the cubicles with photos of spouse and kids and other kitschy krap. I have no pictures of my wife/kids. Somone had the gall and bad taste to ask me about this and I said: “Don’t want to drag my wife and kids into this!”
No items of “flair” and an “awards pile” on the back corner of my desk where I pile award certificates and plaques I’ve gotten. Nothing hanging up; and I took down my nametag above my desk: “You should know whose desk this is!”. It’s a classified environment so I assiduously throw away every scrap of paper at the end of the day. Other than a pink squeekie dinosaur on my computer, my desk looks entirely unoccupied. I am the perfect cube-mate.
My home? An adobe house my dad hand-built. rustic, charming, organic, dark and full of pipe tobacco smoke, pinon woodsmoke in the winter, just the right amount of functional clutter and ‘liveable’ furniture with top-end appliances: think Obi Wan’s adobe abode in Star Wars….
My definition of pure luxury: being able to spill anything anywhere without a care. Blood? Urine? Scotch? Who cares: comes right out!
If I ever make it out of cubicle land (there is no upward mobility in defense engineering until my 5 baby-boomer direct supervisors start dropping dead; I’ll be the “junior” engineer until I’m 60.)….
If I every make it out of cubicle land and into an office, in sheer defiance of modern corporate culture I’ll have nothing: No pictures. No kitschy desk crap. No “I love me” walls of awards. No bookcases of “look what I read” technical books. Nothing. Just pure austerity and engineering competence!
Bernie Madoff and every shyster, hack, goniff, poseur and wanker care very deeply about their office decor: I can tell when I walk into their offices.
In my benighted career I’ve come to associate nice office decor with dishonesty and incompetence: a sconce? You’re an idiot. A wall of awards? You’re an insecure idiot. Pictures of wife and kids? You’re going to be divorced, idiot. Fine art? You’re an effete idiot.
Work and Home do not mix. Not even a little. More people should have the courtesy to remember that; like Obama: Wear a goddamned coat and tie in the Oval Office!
Gray: that’s why I love engineers. They make sense. (well, I might be engaging in “I love me”mode, since my first diploma is in industrial engineering. And my dad is one, too).
And thank you for making a distinction between designers and decorators. No pretty ruffles and kitty pictures here!
“No pretty ruffles and kitty pictures here!”
Agree on the ruffles, but you’re hittin’ close to home on the kitty pictures, Sister! If it weren’t for the pictures of my cats, my humble abode would lack most of its decor. (Yes, I’m a bachelor. How’d you know?)
waltj – we are talking office, not home. Besides, for moral encouragement you can always carry your cats’ likenesses in your wallet…just don’t stick them on the walls all around your office!
Oh, ok. I guess I’ll have to take them down, then;-).
It may be a flaw of mine, I admit. But, I don’t appreciate “suppositions” of my President. I think there are enough hard reasons to dislike the man and his policies without perambulating the Freudian landscape of his Id.
I say “flaw” because I was probably the last person to concatenate the long series of innuendos, accusations, and DNA evidence that proved Clinton’s predilection toward sexual predation.
“Oh, ok. I guess I’ll have to take them down, then;-).”
And don’t forget to wear your tie waltj, you wouldn’t want to create a bad image; Especially when your inbox is empty, and somebody walks in when there’s finally time for a bit of doodling…
“…Especially when your inbox is empty…”
Yeah, any day now. “Walt, I know you’re on your way to your retirement luncheon, but could you just take a quick look at these accounts” is more like it. Well, beats bitching about unemployment by a country mile, I suppose.
I’ll go with Option Weewee
I think Michele would break his neck if he cheated on her. She is a fearsome woman. I recall during one of his interviews possibly with Rick Warren when the “above my pay grade” comment was made he also made a reference to “sacred sex”.
Perhaps he considers sex to be a devine act.
The Wookie Michelle is a fright to behold.
Obama does seem to be controlled by strong women figures. Probably adds a different dimension to the Palin factor.
Ymarsakar just might have it:
“Obama does seem to be controlled by strong women figures. ”
Why is so little attention paid to his mother and, particularly, grandmother? It’s not like the information is unavailable, rather that most commenters seem seldom have know women like them, or the “religious” environment they chose; enough has been reported for anyone who has lived in the same milieu to come to some pretty standard conclusions.
And, as one commentator on this blog has said, Obama’s private school in Hawaii suggests the source of some of the “cool” attitudes; he reminds me so much of some super-smooth Hawaiian students escaping the Vietnam draft in a can’t-fail program that couldn’t avoid a bit of science, hence me.
His chief of staff that plans his schedule is also a woman.