I know you all would be very disappointed…
…if I didn’t liveblog the Oscars.
Whaaaa?? you say. But I think we need some lightness for a change. And there’s hardly anything lighter than the Oscars. They nearly levitate with their lack of gravitas—not to mention the hot air of the stars’ pomposity.
Yes, even though I hardly ever watch movies these days, and could hardly care less about the lives of film celebrities, I almost always try to watch the Oscars for one thing: the fashions.
I have no idea who host Hugh Jackman is. But trusty Wikipedia tells me that he’s an Australian star of screen and the musical stage. Jackman played the lead role of Billy Bigelow in a recent production of the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical “Carousel.” So tell me why his singing sounded so ghastly during the opening number that I had to mute the sound?
The usual unctuous, self-congratulatory garbage goes on. Yada yada yada. But as I said, it’s the fashions that interest me.
The following monstrosity made Tinda Winton (who???) look as though she’d been exhumed for the occasion, proving that beige is one of the most difficult colors to wear—especially for those who are somewhat beige and washed-out to begin with:
For a contrast, see Kate Winslet in a classy shade of blue that looks a bit like a moonlit night sky:
Sophia, Sophia, Sophia. Ah, Sophia girl, we’ve got to talk. When I wrote this heartfelt tribute to you a while back, I never could have guessed that you’d betray my trust by turning up as the main character in “Hello Dolly.” But that sad day has come (and the dress is beige, yet):
Beyonce has turned herself into a cross between a divan and a mermaid:
I deserve some sort of special award myself for just attempting to watch this swill. It is far more boring than usual, and that’s saying an awful lot. So far, no video montages of old films either, one of the few things other than the fashions that I usually look forward to.
To top the evening off, Sean Penn just said he’s proud to live in a country that has the (I think the next word was “courage;” not sure though) to elect an elegant man president. Wow.
And now, just when I’d given up—a montage of old films! But unfortunately, the featured film clips are mostly about politics. And some of them aren’t even old. Given those parameters, how did a moment of “The Graduate” sneak in there?
Who watches this crap? Girls and gays.
Well, I am a girl.
11 pm and I’m calling it quits. This has been a fairly dismal show. The most entertaining parts of the evening have been checking in with the hearty souls doing the live blogging. Thanks for your efforts.
Neo, I am afraid we part ways here. My wife is a singer, and she has no complaints about Hugh Jackman’s singing.
And it’s Tilda Swinton: she played the White Witch (very witchily) in the first Narnia movie, and she was tremendous in Michael Clayton with George Clooney. All I can say is, she looks better this year than she did last year.
I wait all year for your Oscar fashions post! 🙂
Oblio: Oops, Swinton. And yes, I remember her astoundingly hideous dress from last year.
And I loved Penelope Cruz’s 60 year old dress!! That was really a beautiful gown.
It’s a nice break! I didn’t watch ’cause I didn’t want to hear sanctimonious political digs where they don’t belong – love the dresses, though!
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I must confess that I no longer watch these awards ceremonies for the entertainment world anymore because of how hostile Hollywood has become towards traditional, patriotic Americans and their values. I especially do not like that Red Diaper Baby Sean Penn. Once these people started coming out with their agendas, and making more films to shove it at us, I tuned them out. But I will go to an occasional movie.
THE BEST films I’ve seen so far this year:
“Defiance”
“Grand Torino”
“I have no idea who host Hugh Jackman is.”
IIRC, he’s the guy who played “Wolverine” in the “X-Men” movies… 😉
I think Sophia gets a pass. Nobody looks that good at her age.
OTOH, I’m with you, neo. I have no use for movies (except maybe the new StarTrek) or the Oscars. It’s a lot of, “Yay us. We really like us.”
Bleh.
I think i’ve figured out whats wrong with movies nowadays with a quote i saw of Benjamin Franklin.
“There was never a good knife made out of bad steel”.
Wow! Clothes do make the man. Kate Winslett looks a lot like Ahnold.
Oh – that’s Tilda Winton. With an L. She is part of the Indy crowd and had a supporting role in the Nicholas Cage vehicle Adaptation
Neo, my wife tells me Jackman was energetic and entertaining, but his singing was “all over the place.” So, Never Mind.
I’ll go sit in the corner now.
Well, at least in the Washington DC area, Masterpiece Theater’s part two of Oliver Twist was competing with the Oscars. No competition really.
I usually have to banish myself to another room during the Oscars; but my wife wasn’t even interested this year.
We are going to see Slumdog this afternoon.
Here’s the singer’s review: I thought Anne Hathaway was cute as a bug, and had a competent singing voice too. “Experienced song-and-dance man” Hugh Jackman seemed really nervous during the musical numbers, and too hopped up to sing well – he was off his air and breathless the whole time. Perhaps he’s actually had some vocal training, but it was hard to tell from his performance. Beyonce was fabulous. Gorgeous to look at, gorgeous to listen to.
I walked away at that point and the rest is taped on our DVR – I can fast-forward through all the tiresome stuff I know I don’t want to hear about, like Bill Maher’s idiotic rant about organized religion, and anything at all that comes out of Sean Penn’s mouth. (Everytime I see him I think about the incident with the aluminum boat in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina – he’d parachuted in to “save” people and forgot to put the plug in the boat, which sank and he had to be saved himself. Typical.)
I watched the Ocars. First time. My Lefty friend was over and he wanted to so I said
oh, well”.
It seems to me that the Ocars have become like to Superbowl..we watch to see the advertisements (in this case the clothes) and are slowly discovering that they are not worth watching either.
In future I will check the date before I invite my friend over again.
For all those who loved Beyonce’s “singing”, please be advised that she appeared to be lip-syncing the whole time. Singing behind a tape, perhaps, because there was a distinct delay in between when her lips moved and when the sound came out.
The fashion industry is the homosexuals revenge on the
straight world. A thoughtful and witty woman could be
dressed in a burlap bag and my love would know no
bounds.
Without the President to bash anymore, there just wasn’t any passion.
The only political statement they could really bring up was gay marriage, and even that was met with a less than enthusiastic reception.
I watched for a little bit, as my wife usually enjoys watching. But it was painful to watch in many ways.
Finally went to bed to do some reading. And my wife, who usually watches to the bitter end, came to bed before it ended.
Most of the time the ladies’ fashions on display at these events are horrible. I’m just an old-fashioned guy who likes classic lines. I don’t like the frilly stuff that looks like a 21st century rendition of the 17th and 18th century at Versailles. Simple, elegant lines will do.
I, like Oldflyer, watched part deux of Oliver Twist – great. The guy who played Fagin was amazing. The only reason I even watched any of it is because Hugh Jackman was hosting. I like him. An under the radar kinda guy in Hollywood. Anyway so as not to bore anyone with the rest of my take if you are interested you and read it at http://truthmyway.blogspot.com
And hey Neo – I even remarked about Winslet’s dress there before I even read your post. Two thumbs up for me.
The Oscars were on?
Vanderleun nails it. I was going to say “women and fags,” but “girls and gays” is differentially more PC.
Consequently, I’ll go with “women and fags.”
I freely admit to watching the Oscars every year, much to the chagrin of my parents – haha. Hugh Jackman is one of my favorite actors because he stays out of politics, (as far as I know) is extremely talented and seems to genuinely care for his family. He’s definitely the main reason I watched this year, having seen none of the best picture films.