Breaking news: Al Gore will run as Ralph Nader’s VP
What does a man who’s won, not only the Nobel peace prize, but—far more impressive—an Oscar, do for an encore?
Al Gore could merely rest on the very considerable laurels he’s earned as Bill Clinton’s two-term Vice-President, and in the cause of promoting global warming (ooops–that is, promoting the news about global warming). But this man feels the continuing need to serve his country and the world (and not as a waiter, either, although he would look good in the outfit).
Yesterday I noted widespread speculation that he just might be about to step in to break the impasse that’s tearing the Democratic Party apart, and finally offer a true People’s Choice for President: himself. After all, we know that he really won in 2000, and that it was only his extreme politeness that caused him to defer to George Bush in the post-election brouhaha.
The rest, as they say, is history. Al Gore has learned his lesson: no more Mr. Nice Guy, he says.
And so today Mr. Gore has rejected his role as savior of the Party, ignoring all the pleas from distraught Democrats. He has a higher calling.
At a news conference this very morning, Gore dropped the shocking bombshell that he is running for the Vice Presidency. Again. But not with Hillary Clinton, which would have been a historical first: the same person as Veep to both husband and wife.
Constitutional scholars raced to their rulebooks to check whether a third Vice-Presidential term would be possible, and their answer was a resounding, “Yes—although no one ever envisioned that anyone in his/her right mind would want to do such a thing.”
Hand in hand with the head of the ticket, Ralph Nader, Gore announced that the two are burying the hatchet from 2000, the year in which Nader’s entry into the race as the Green Party nominee was widely perceived to have taken sorely needed votes away from Gore. Gore says the beginning of their rapprochement occurred when Nader stated, in a live interview with DemocrayNow’s Amy Goodman, that he believes Al Gore actually won the presidency that year but that it was “stolen from him … by the [Florida] Secretary of State and Jeb Bush” and the US Supreme Court.”
Gore most definitely concurs. So now they are uniting for a greater cause, saving the planet.
I couldn’t find any photos of their joint press conference—which was notable for the fact that Ralph Nader actually smiled for the first time in his adult life—but I managed to find this artist’s rendering of the historic event:
At the press conference, Gore dropped another bombshell—as if one weren’t enough. He said that the cause he and Nader will fight to promote awareness of is that of global cooling.
Yes, folks, you heard right. Gore is a man who keeps up with not only the Times but the times. The latest evidence that global cooling may be the new trend has convinced him that this is real, and that something must be done about it:
Now there is word that all four major global temperature tracking outlets have released data showing that temperatures have dropped significantly over the last year. California meteorologist Anthony Watts says the amount of cooling ranges from 65-hundredths of a degree Centigrade to 75-hundreds of a degree.
That is said to be a value large enough to erase nearly all the global warming recorded over the past 100 years. It is reportedly the single fastest temperature change ever recorded ”” up or down.
Some scientists contend the cooling is the result of reduced solar activity ”” which they say is a larger driver of climate change than man-made greenhouse gases.
If in fact this climate change is driven by solar activity, Gore and Nader admitted they would be hard-pressed to find a solution. “But we cannot ignore this truth,” said Gore to great applause, “even though it might be inconvenient.”
The two suggested that, if they are elected to the highest offices in the land, they will find a solution, somehow. They ended their press conference with a sly dig at their opponent, Senator Obama:
“And he thinks he’s the candidate for change?” they chorused in unison. “Well, Obama, think again!”
OK, I admit, you got me with that caption…..I went and checked Drudge, then came back to this…heh.
Hmmm. What is the date today, again?
rafinlay: just a coincidence, I’m sure.
April Fools!!?!?
Hey Neo –
You left out the part where they will be touring the country. Instead of a standard campaign bus, they will be in a Corsair convertible.
I, too, ran to Drudge until I the remembered the date! 🙂
A very good April Fools joke, it had the air of plausibility.
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I thought to myself, “You have to be joking.” Then I remembered the date.
Make that a “Corvair” convertible, Ike….I used to have one. I miss that little “deathtrap.”
I thought the “Gore to step in to save Democratic party” was the ACTUAL april fool’s joke.
Yes. You could imagine Obama and Clinton amiably stepping aside to let Prof. Gasbag lose it all for them (again)…
Har-de-har-har.
One of these days, neo, one of these days…..
Bang! Zoom!
To the moon, neo, to the moon!
You had me until the “global cooling” line. I can believe Algor would be suicidally idiotic but I can’t believe he would admit being wrong about anything.
Good one, neo.
It was entirely plausible until it mentioned Nader smiling. A gas pain mistaken for a smile, maybe, but a smile? No.
You got me. I don’t think my eyes could have gotten wider. Good Job.
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Too cruel, too cruel of a joke.
Neo . . .
You got me too. I can’t believe it. I was all ready to run and tell my husband that Gore was running with Nader. We already had a conversation today about whether or not Gore was a lunatic.
I was caught as well. Hook line and sinker, 3even though I had no idea why Gore would make such a move.
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Very entertaining post, Neo.
I was going to say “a nice piece of political theater” for Al Gore, until I read the comments about APril 1.
Now instead of his theater, it is yours, Neo.
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I miss Lyndon LaRouche.
It was so believeable because…………I wanted it to be true. Drat!
Stumbling on this on the 4th left me unprepared for the April Fool’s article that it was. Excellent post. Had me fooled for about three or four paragraphs….thanks.