All parents should be like Mr. Trende…full of hope, kindness, willing to teach their child all they can, doing what’s best for the child, and love…love in full, always love.

My mother died about fifteen years ago. Several years later I learned, thanks to genealogical research, that she had an older half brother that I’m positive she never knew about.

Her father had been married before he married her mother. He and his first wife had a kid and not long after, they got divorced. The child stayed with his mother. About ten years later, my mother’s father then married my grandmother. He died when my mom was still a very young child. About ten years after that, his first wife died. Their son was almost twenty. He went to live with his aunt, his mother’s sister. He was living with her when he died at the age of 46. That was in the early 60’s.

Since learning of him, and of what little I know of his history, I’ve wondered if he had been somehow disabled — maybe mentally challenged. The 1910’s were a very different time. When his aunt died, she was likely laid by him. (She never married.) If someone passes by their graves, and sees the headstone, they may wonder as Trende writes above.

Trende’s essay has inspired me to learn more about a half-uncle i know nothing about.

You sound like a crappy old man that does not have any idea what autism is, yet, decides to hold forth with your uninformed opinion bereft of knowledge and sympathy.

I have personal experience with this. Why don’t you just STFU and rest in your ignorance.

Crappy DNA? Insufficient parenting in the past?? Or a desire to reveal one’s own shortcomings?

I have little doubt they’ll be visiting. But this is the logical next step for an 18-year-old, and group homes can be the best solution if they’re good. I think Trende is just saying he hopes that his son will continue to be happy, as he was when he was in school. With a kid who’s not good at expressing himself, the family has to rely on their perception of his mood, and on the reports of the group home staff.

Having Hudson stay at home, now that he’s 18, would probably narrow his horizons rather than broadening them. Nor would it be a happy thing for him, probably, because he’s used to school and likes the group setting there. Plus, it would probably necessitate at least one parent quitting work and staying home and taking over the caretaking full time, and the loss of income would be difficult (plus they have two younger children to support and educate). Alternatively, if both parents keep working outside the home, they would have to hire fulltime caretakers for Judson, which is mega-expensive. A group home would probably be best for everyone concerned, but some anxiety about the transition is completely understandable.