OTD = Older Than Dirt (that what I tell the much younger Nuclear Chemical Operators (NCOs)) that I work with that I am.

Then again it ain’t the military so they aren’t the other kind of NCOs.

I completely understand a decision to avoid moving into an institution, no matter how nice. But we need to keep in mind that we can become suddenly disabled at any time, a danger that is all the more important to plan for if one member of a couple is seriously impaired, especially mentally, and if there are animals who need daily attention as well.

Whether a family member or a neighbor’s weekly check could have improved on the ultimate outcome of these events.

Lesson, yes. But only those heeding it will benefit.

https://youtu.be/XiTh8UpbeEI?si=tx1MczMq4jPLEZQJ

Skilled nursing facilities try to be as short term as possible. But if you need SNF, you really NEED the “skilled nursing” part of it. And admittedly, there are some people for whom it isn’t that short term a solution. A friend with ALS wound up in one — she could no longer live on her own, she needed specialized care that her children could not give. Another friend with ALS was able to stay at home because he and his wife (and his kids) were wealthy and could afford around the clock home skilled nursing he needed. My dad had IPF and was at home for several months, but towards the end, he needed too much care and moved to a SNF. He was there for less than a month.

Caring for people with Alzheimers can be extremely difficult. One woman I met had to commit her husband to a memory care facility. She was a tiny little woman, and he was a brawny man with early onset dementia. When he ceased to recognize her, he’d started beating her up. It was heartbreaking.

I hope that I can afford ALF when that time comes. Some are very nice. They have happy hours, movie nights, ice cream socials… Often times, the food is not too bad. People vilify them without knowing much about them.

Admittedly, ones that have been taken over by private equity go down the toilet… But the destruction and gutting of businesses by private equity is a different topic.

My wife and I are both in our 90s. We made the decision many years ago to steer clear of nursing homes if at all possible. A few years back we asked our daughter to come live with us to help us as needed. She was amenable and it has been a blessing.

We’re still able to do our daily chores – cleaning, gardening, cooking, shopping, and we both drive, though not at night. We need no domestic help, but our daughter often does things that we can’t quite manage anymore. She just took us out to a restaurant for dinner after dark. She also orders food for us on her cell phone when we need it. Neither my wife nor I have cell phones.

We would feel much less secure without our daughter living with us. We are both noticing our age more now and I’m wondering how long we can keep on this way. At some point we may need some nursing care that our daughter can’t provide and one or both of us may become unable to walk. It’s not an easy path, and the only certainty is that we’re not going to get any better as time goes on. Like Gene Hackman and his wife, we just have to keep on keeping on and hope for the best. The end is near, but not quite yet.