Thank you.

However, I can see I’ve conveyed a misleading impression. Lisa didn’t exactly make it out of the morass. She mostly did, but succumbed at times and in varying degrees, such that she survived but didn’t prosper.

A month ago she OD’d on fucking fentanyl. Her lips were blue. During CPR she suffered several cracked ribs which bothered her to the end.

Her cell phone was cheap and I couldn’t reach her when I wished. I was trying to reach her around the time she died.

I know some here know what I’m talking about.

Happily last Thursday Chalee and Lisa had a birthday party for Diana, Lisa’s daughter, at the Cheesecake Factory in Boston and I happened to call into the midst of the festivities.

It was a happy occasion. Lisa showed no signs of medical or psychological distress. Perhaps it was a high note for Lisa to exit.

I leave her to Jesus.

Beautiful and sad. I’m glad she found her way out of the morass. Sorry for your loss.

Here’s a poem I wrote for Lisa years ago. Anyone who has dealt with trauma and substance abuse knows the drill.
__________________________________________

Every Little Star
for my sisters, Lisa and Chalee

is there any place where people eat apes Lisa asked maybe
Africa I said after all the French eat horses the Chinese
eat dogs and sometimes I smiled I eat gingerbread men it was
a few days after Christmas so Lisa giggled and said
sometimes she ate Santa Claus cookies well sometimes I eat
animal crackers I replied and she came back that sometimes
she ate finger cookies but we were running out of foods
shaped like living things so we watched Men In Black since
Lisa likes the weirdest movies Eraserhead used to be her
favorite and we had another video cued up but Lisa fell
asleep in the big recliner in Chalee’s living room as I was
singing the Mister Rabbit song a negro spiritual Mom used to
sing to Cha and me when we were little but Lisa had never
heard it

Mister Rabbit Mister Rabbit
your ears are mighty long
yes my Lord they’re put on wrong

every little star must shine shine shine
every little star must shine shine shine

and I was feeling so close so tender to my little sister
who’d been drinking and drugging and blacking out and waking
up in the bad parts of town or on the wrong side of broken
plate glass windows or in the Charles River for so long we
didn’t know if she was going to make it

Mister Rabbit Mister Rabbit
your eyes are mighty red
yes my Lord I’m almost dead

and I was so sorry that all the fun and tenderness we might
share didn’t seem to make any difference because the next
day she took six Xanax and drank until she couldn’t
recognize her boyfriend and we had to take her to the
hospital and then to detox after bribing her with a Chinese
lunch and a pint of vodka but Chalee said you never know how
these things will go because that was the last time Lisa
drank she’s been clean and sober for six months now by the
grace of God AA and hard work she’s even lecturing before
groups and in prisons while Chalee and I keep talking about
how thankful relieved and proud we are of her

every little star must shine shine shine
every little star must shine shine shine
__________________________________________

Lisa was dealt a hard hand, but she fought bravely and made it to the age of 61. I loved her and I miss her.

Please accept my condolences.

My condolences.