DNW:

My parents gave a ton of parties and went to a ton of parties. See this and also see this.”

You should solicit a few pictures from your regular readers and select a few to put up. Your readers could guess who they are.

Not me though. And I don’t want to see Cicero getting his diaper changed either.

“neo on September 21, 2020 at 8:34 pm said:

DNW:

My parents gave a ton of parties and went to a ton of parties. See this and also see this.”

Americans had more, and sought to develop more, social skills, if they aspired to any kind of middle class existence. Except in my estimation, for Southerners who, regardless of “class” would be expected to show hospitality with some measure of grace.

[Though a Yankee myself, It came as quite a shock to me when I met my first quasi-rural dwelling upper-Midwest families [who were NOT FARMERS] as a young adult. I could not believe the stolidity, the unimaginative, dull, glum, almost resentful excuse for hospitality they offered. Being invited to an affair – inevitably subsequent to some ceremonial event – at one of their houses left you (or me at least) feeling guilty for eating any of the meal that was proffered; and I swear they seemed pleased when anything more than a roll was declined. Laughter and joking, seemed out of order too. What the hell was the point of even being with these coarse people who seemed incapable of a lighthearted or jocular moment, and whose main interest – and I am talking of middle aged adults – seemed to be elbowing anyone else away from the feed trough? At that time in my life, they were the only fat and inert people I had ever really seen.]

But for American suburbanites, the earlier period you mention and which I refer to as my childhood life, was good. Our folks – and I’m assuming yours here too – would go to the theater, or night clubs or supper clubs. House parties would be packed, and filled with laughter and good humor, and either recorded or live music.

My generation, across the board, seems to have lost if not all, then much of that ability to entertain or to be entertaining, or to be much interested in the process. It seems limited to the upper middle class and above nowadays. Maybe school teachers, and local bureaucrats, and plumbers never did any of that anyway … and I just never noticed …

It wasn’t until my mid-twenties on a really hot day with some really cold beer that I rethought that impression.

My parents gave a ton of parties and went to a ton of parties. See this and also see this.

I don’t recognize that woman’s clothing, at all. If she were dressed like “mom”, i.e. “Laura Petrie” style, I’d get it.

So, I suppose, what I imagine as “the fifties” is not really the 1950’s, though the suburban neighborhood architecture and furnishings and all must have dated (well, did) to the mid fifties.

I imagine that going back in time to 1947 to 52 would be way different in terms of atmosphere than going back to the fall of 1959.

Yeah and the little brother episodes must have been in 62 or 4 or so. Hmmm.

“When I watch fifties movies I’m often struck by the crowded parties of the time, e.g. “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” I remember my parents would occasionally have parties large enough to fill the living room and leave behind vast debris of beverage glasses, ashtrays full-up, and soiled paper napkins,

It doesn’t seem people have parties like that much anymore.”

Hahaha!!! Boy, are you right. My kid brother – maybe 5 or 6 at the time – would get up early the next morning and we would find him in a tent he made with blankets over a table, eating stale chips, and possibly having drained the last ounce or two from beer bottles left on the cocktail tables. That was when the folks were in their early 30’s. Wasn’t long after that though before the house was always put in order before bed, no matter how damn late.

Where they got the energy and drive …

I was just talking to some of my cousins about that recently.

Whether is was extended family [usually] or their friends; a houseful of dressed up people, cocktails, laughter, dinner, cards maybe, and certainly music, til one in the morning – with a coffee urn and cold cuts finale to send the crowd off home semi-sober, was more the rule than not. Not every weekend of course. But all the holidays, and some days in between.

And they were not limiting it to the kind of ” new house, early mid 20’s ” parties my crowd had. They, the folks, were entertaining like this into their 70’s.

So I began to think about it, and reflected on all the holiday parties and family “reunions” I also held for the last 25 years, and came to the conclusion that whereas my immediate family was still active, and my sig other’s well-heeled family is, my worthless cousins – even those with the financial wherewithal – just cannot be bothered to extend themselves when they could be sitting on their asses, watching TV, and scooping ice cream into their maws from a dish resting on their belly shelves.

And the more deeply I thought about it, the more that I realized that it always was say, 15% of the people in our circle who were the spark plugs, and who ever did extend themselves in any way, for anybody, in the first place.

The rest were, in retrospect, a bunch of selfish, hoarding, grubbing, free riding, uncultured, talent-less – if amiable – peasant ass-wipes. Though less conspicuously so, than their offspring are now.

But I say this, of course, with all due respect.

Oh one last thing. Having the ability to play music – say guitars (you need a couple and guys who can play songbook standards), or piano, counts for an enormous amount.

It doesn’t seem people have parties like that much anymore.

Out of curiosity, did the households have any tendency to cluster by which service the husbands/fathers had been in? Army noncoms on this block, Navy lads over there, anything like that?

n.n., absolutely – she wears it all so well. I guess my mom had one dress in particular, green with white polka-dot, that approached that sort of wardrobe.