Are you only familiar with the missionary position? There is a very easy and enjoyable way to achieve that effect without drastic surgery. Which reminds me of a story:

A sex researcher was conducting a class. They asked how many positions the students knew. A guy in the back row jumped up and waved his hand but they called on several others. “Four”, “Seven”, then they called on the man in the back. “I know 71 positions” he said proudly.

“Wow!”, said the instructor,”I didn’t even know there were that many.” Then he called on a shy young woman in the front row, who said she only knew one. “That’s OK. Describe it for us” said the instructor. Nervously, she responded, “It’s when the woman lies on her back and the man lies down on top of her.”

The guy in the back jumps up and yells “72!”.

I think the ladies would prefer the tongue above the penis.

Maybe you could tell your sister to close her eyes and imagine the possibilities of a penis with a tongue right underneath it.

:>)

Secondly, Cruz has a very effective team and knows how to operate one of those ‘mysterious’ ground games. They called all of their caucus captains to inform them of what they interpreted to be an end to Carson’s campaign. Unfortunately for Trump, lacking a ground game, did not have caucus captains all across the state. Instead he relied on his fans to show up and speak or not speak for him.

At my caucus a Trump supporter said (and I wrote it down word for word) “I support Donald Trump because he’s the greatest businessman alive and he will balance the budget and wipe away the national debt in four years.” He was totally sincere. I whipered to a fellow Cruz voter, “Does this mean the country will file for bankruptcy four times and default on the national debt?”

I agree that Christie can be very charming. I find self-deprecating humor to be charming also 🙂

If Cruz is the nominee, I predict we will hear an endless parade of insults and snark about his looks and nerdy debate-captain demeanor. Leftists didn’t really use this line of attack with Romney, who is a very good-looking guy, but they won’t be able to resist attempting to personalize and polarize the not-so-good-looking Cruz.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America, in Congress assembled, That any Alien being a free white person, who shall have resided within the limits and under the jurisdiction of the United States for the term of two years, may be admitted to become a citizen thereof on application to any common law Court of record in any one of the States wherein he shall have resided for the term of one year at least, and making proof to the satisfaction of such Court that he is a person of good character, and taking the oath or affirmation prescribed by law to support the Constitution of the United States, which Oath or Affirmation such Court shall administer, and the Clerk of such Court shall record such Application, and the proceedings thereon; and thereupon such person shall be considered as a Citizen of the United States. And the children of such person so naturalized, dwelling within the United States, being under the age of twenty one years at the time of such naturalization, shall also be considered as citizens of the United States. And the children of citizens of the United States that may be born beyond Sea, or out of the limits of the United States, shall be considered as natural born Citizens: Provided, that the right of citizenship shall not descend to persons whose fathers have never been resident in the United States: Provided also, that no person heretofore proscribed by any States, shall be admitted a citizen as aforesaid, except by an Act of the Legislature of the State in which such person was proscribed.

I actually think Christie is quite charming and attractive, particularly from the neck up. And I don’t even drink (maybe that shows why I don’t).

As for Cruz’s face, there is something “off” about him. I actually feel the same way about Trump’s face—very “off,” particularly some of his expressions of pout and/or scowl. But that’s not the way I judge candidates. However, I agree it’s a factor in elections.

A lot of people have pointed out that Cruz has a resemblance to Joe McCarthy. I don’t see it at all, but he certainly looks like Joe McCarthy more than his nose looks like a penis (and anyone who hasn’t been following Lurch’s earlier remark in this thread will think I’ve gone nuts—to coin a phrase—so here’s a link).