It’s sad to see the bigotry come out of the woodwork after the earlier, more thoughtful responses.

Translation: how dare people disagree with that their PC betters have told them! Back in line, or we’ll slap more labels on you and your “opinions”…

Shouldn’t such a shift in our shared cultural and moral norms be based on actual observation rather than pity-mongering?

Is it really “bigotry” to say so?

Anne:

Unless you can get inside a gay man or woman’s head to verify these claims, don’t judge or make sweeping statements. I have gay friends who have gone through hell because of their sexual orientation and if possible would have “turned straight” in an instant in order to live an easier, happier life in their communities.

We don’t need to get inside anyone’s head – all those with experience of alcoholism, drug abuse, anorexia, or other compulsive-addictive behaviors knows how hard it is to resolve the underlying issues and walk away from these dysfunctional, compelling habits.

Such people will also have experienced the manipulative narcissism that runs through these behaviors – in which the sufferers urge those around them to become codependent with their behavior and the worldview that feeds it.

We also have ample data documenting the dysfunction of the homosexual “lifestyle” – and the continued mental distress of out-n-proud homosexuals, which prove that the proffered solution doesn’t help anyone – except Gramscians intent on dismantling Western morality.

Again:
Shouldn’t such a shift in our shared cultural and moral norms be based on actual observation rather than pity-mongering?

Is it really “bigotry” to say so?

Anne:

the sooner we accept homosexuality as a quirk of nature and as a private thing that does not define a person’s identity, the sooner the more distasteful aspects of gay culture, which are a response to years of marginalization, will crumble.

Translation: the sooner we become codependent with gay dysfunction, the sooner these unbalanced narcissists will leave us alone.

Riiiiiight.

Also unexplained is how exactly accommodating the in-your-face gay-rights agenda will somehow restore modesty – does Anne really think the gay rights movement DOESN’T want sexual orientation to “define a person’s identity’?

Round and round it goes – the only fixed points being the catechism of politically correct opinions and the pantheon of officially hip victim groups.

The information is not unavailable. Don’t let the pink fascist’s threats deter a search for the truth.

Here’s an example of the truth straight from the source.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ADh8Fs3YdU

The Show Must Go On

Empty spaces – what are we living for
Abandoned places – I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for…
Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore
The show must go on,
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.
Whatever happens, I’ll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I’m learning, I must be warmer now
I’ll soon be turning, round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I’m aching to be free
The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly – my friends
The show must go on
The show must go on
I’ll face it with a grin
I’m never giving in
On – with the show –
I’ll top the bill, I’ll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the –
On with the show –
The show must go on…

We have gay friends who were married, realized they were gay, and divorced. But we also have a formerly gay friend who opted out of the gay life-style, got married and went straight.

In the current zeitgeist, couple 1 are to be celebrated, even if their lives are dysfunctional – and couple 2 are ignored at best – or the Leftist trope of “false consciousness” is used to discredit their lived experience.

For the first group it is at least somewhat of a choice. For the second group I described, the other extreme, it is not.

On its face, this reflects oft-repeated shibboleths, and preserves the idea – demonstrably false, but drummed into our heads! – that homosexuals are “born that way” – which neatly sidesteps moral evaluation of the behavior, and has with repetition slid from “occuring in nature” to “normal and healthy” in most people’s minds.

And so there are a range of outcomes, expressions of this “trait”.

And so lived experience – including 20 years of marriage – are irrelevant to the idea of identity.

Here are some quotes from a psychologist who specializes in same-sex attraction (SSA) – one of the few who has not succumbed to the overweening political correctness in his field. It’s from an article dealing with a similar case – a man who, after 20 years of marriage, decided he was “gay after all”:

For these men, their deepest-level problem is not about sexual orientation but about something more fundamental: identity, attachment and belonging. Gender-identity conflict and attraction to men are only surface symptoms. This is the problem that the media chooses to ignore, and which both sides of the debate fail to acknowledge.

As such a man’s identity evolves, there will be an excited “discovery of my True Self,” followed by disillusionment, then a new “real discovery of my True Self,” and then again, disillusionment. At the base of this desperate search is the anguished grasp for a stable personhood…. This periodic disillusionment leaves behind devastated individuals who have invested deeply in the person; in John’s case, Anne, his wife of 20 years (and) his three teenage sons

John and his supporters in the gay community want to frame the latest change in his story as proof that people who experience SSA were simply designed and created for homosexuality, but we would be deceived if we believed this simplistic paradigm.

Can John really believe that he’s going to find love and happiness walking away from his wife and three sons? John says he never in his life felt loved. However, I conjecture that no one has ever truly loved John more than his own wife, Anne.

Read the whole thing for a more closely observed profile – and a clinical precis of such men that may or may not jibe with your friend’s experience.

http://josephnicolosi.com/my-old-friend-john-paulk/

What they shouldn’t do, in this day and age, is pretend to be what they are not.

You have no idea what his intent was, or whether he was faithful during the time he was engaged to be married. If he is anything like my friend’s husband (and this was the point of my story about my friend), his intent was to be faithful. When he realized he would not be able to fulfill this vow if he did take it (in other words, he would be deceiving her if he were to get married), he broke off the engagement and did not get married.

The situation would of course be different if his intent was to deceive her and be unfaithful to her if they ever did get married. But you have no basis for concluding that was his intent.

So, no oath, just a commitment off the record to defraud. It’s just a matter of irreconcilable differences before the fact. No different than any other “friend with benefit” situation. His dysfunctional relationship is the same in form, if not in substance, as enjoyed by a majority of American men and women. Still, eight years, that is leading beyond what can be considered reasonable, or is that also now considered “normal”?

Never mind. He is behaving within the acceptable norms and to the expected standards of the community within which he resides.

What wife? What oath?

This was his fiance, and he broke off the engagement before they got married.

As far as I know, Collins has never been married.