Talking the talk has never been our problem…

I remember you guys got quite excited about Blair as well. It’s what our politicians do – they speak well. Nothing else. Just that. Oh and if you went to what we call a public school, which is really a private independent school, then you are way ahead in the game. It’s what they teach you there. Sometimes other things as well, but articulacy above all. Oh and did any of you catch any of the other attacks on G. Brown? Thought not.

We need to send GOPers to the UK for political finishing school. Nobody handles English as well as the English.

Historian Roy Medvedev looked through the files of Stalin’s political prisoners and concluded that 200,000 people were imprisoned for telling jokes, such as this: Three prisoners in the gulag get to talking about why they are there. “I am here because I always got to work five minutes late, and they charged me with sabotage,” says the first. “I am here because I kept getting to work five minutes early, and they charged me with spying,” says the second. “I am here because I got to work on time every day,” says the third, “and they charged me with owning a western watch.”

Graham gestures towards the Orwellian notion of the joke as “a tiny revolution.” Jokes were an essential part of the communist experience because the monopoly of state power meant that any act of non-conformity, down to a simple turn of phrase, could be construed as a form of dissent. By the same token, a joke about any facet of life became a joke about communism. There have been political and anti-authority jokes in every era, but nowhere else did political jokes cohere into an anonymous body of folk literature as they did under communism. With the creation of the Soviet bloc after the war, communism exposed itself to Czech and Jewish traditions of humour–mutating viruses to which the system never developed the right antibodies. Some jokes that were traceable back to the Austro-Hungarian empire found their apotheosis under communism–like this one about the Hungarian communist leader Matyas Rakosi: Two friends are walking down the street. One asks the other “What do you think of Rakosi?” “I can’t tell you here,” he replies. “Follow me.” They disappear down a side street. “Now tell me what you think of Rakosi,” says the friend. “No, not here,” says the other, leading him into the hallway of an apartment block. “OK here then.” “No, not here. It’s not safe.” They walk down the stairs into the deserted basement of the building. “OK, now you can tell me what you think of our president.” “Well,” says the other, looking around nervously,”actually I quite like him.”

an interesting thing… its on jokes, but it also discusses the words, what they meant, and what effect and signs they showed…

like finding out that simon wiesenthal collcted and created a volume of nazi jokes under the name of mishka kukin…

jokes, the power of fools over kings..

and the jokes for obama and leno… how bush was joked…

[i went through more than 16 pages of them to find the nuggets]

do remember too that these give glimpse into how extreme these state behaviors get. they wouldnt be funny if they sadly were not true…

words do have power… and tot he side that thinks they are magical (the left), they take it so seriously you have to watch waht you say, do, move, or anything… because everythign is a message.

Jokes of armenian radio… i am changing it to armerikan radio… 🙂

This is Amerikan Radio answering your questions!!!

Question: “Will people have money when communism is built?”
We’re answering: “Some will, some will not.”

Question: “Is it possible to build communism in Amerika?”
We’re answering: “It’s possible, but who will we buy grain from?”

Question: “When the final phase of socialism, namely communism, is built, will there still be thefts and pilfering?”
We’re answering: “No, because everything will be already pilfered during socialism.”

Question: “Was comrade Obama a scientist or a politician?”
Were Answering: “Of course, a politician. If he were a scientist, he would’ve first tried his theories on dogs.”

Question: “What is the most permanent feature of our socialist economy?”
Were Answering:”Temporary shortages.”

Question: “What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?”
Were Answering: “In a capitalist society man exploits man, and in a socialist one, the other way around.”

Question: Is it possible to make ends meet on salary alone?
Were Answering: We don’t know, we never tried.

Question: What is the greatest achievement of the Soviet agriculture?
Were Answering: Sowing in the USSR and harvesting in America.

Question:Is it true that American cars are the fastest in the world?
Were Answering: Yes, it’s true, but on the other hands, our Soviet watches are the fastest in the world.

Question:What is Sholokhov writing now?
Were Answering: A crime novel titled “How I received the Nobel price in literature.”

[sounds like amerika now]
Question: Should an eighteen years old girl go to bed at eight pm?
Were Answering: Yes, if her parents expect her to be back home not later than ten.

Question: Is it possible to buy a man who is deeply honest and principled?
Were Answering: To buy is impossible; but it’s possible to sell.

Why the symbol of the Republicans in the US is an elephant, but that of the Democrats is an ass?

Because no ass can symbolize two political parties at the same time.

What is the difference between Russian and English fairy tales?

The English fairy tale start with “Once upon a time…., and ours with “It will be soon…”

Can a man rape a woman while jogging?
No, because a woman with a skirt up is always running faster than a man with pants down.

We are told that the communism is already seen at the horizon. Then, what is a horizon?
Horizon is an imaginary line which moves away each time you approach it.

Will the police still exist when communism is built?
Of course, not. By that time, all citizens will have learned how to arrest themselves

What to do if a man you don’t know takes a seat at your table in a pub and starts to sigh?
Immediately demand to stop the anti-Soviet propaganda.

Is there a problem of racism in the USSR?
No. In our country both the whites and the blacks are counted among the red.

Is it possible to build socialism in Switzerland?
It’s possible, but why? Did Switzerland really do something wrong to you?

Is it possible in a socialist country to end up under a bus?
Easier that on a bus

What shall we do if suddenly we feel a desire to work?
Just rest for a while on a sofa. It will pass.

What is the easiest way to explain the meaning of the word “communism?”
By means of fists

Are the bedbugs also builders of socialism?
Of course, in their veins flows the workers-and-peasants’ blood.

When the elections were first held using the Soviet method?
When Adam was electing his wife, and Eve her husband

What is the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?
Answer: A pessimist maintains that the things are so bad, they can’t become any worse; an optimist believes they can become even worse.

What is worse than a young pessimist?
An old optimist

Why Lenin wore regular shoes, but Stalin wore boots?
At Lenin’s time, Russia was still only ankle-high in s**t.

What is an exchange of opinions?
When you walk into your boss’s office with your opinion and walk out with his.

and on the issue of promoting the nasty in the population over the good.

Is it true that Tchaikovsky was a pederast?
Yes, but he is liked not only for that. Some also like his music

[this could be directly applied to the radio host who was just murdered by a 16 year old]

Why did our scientists photograph the backside of the moon?
At the request of the gay community

Will there be the third world war?
No, but the struggle for peace will reach such degree that there will be no stone left intact on the earth

this is a bit prescient and explains much about our current state

Question: Is it true that there are two kinds of people serving as deputies of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR, as members of the Supreme Court, and as Soviet diplomats?

Answer: Yes, it is a true. One kind is those not capable of anything at all, and the other, those capable of anything whatsoever.

incompetents and sociopaths…

is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and USSR? Both guarantee freedom of speech.

Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech

and this is timley given recent articles comparing ny times and natnionalization of our news

Question: Why do we need two central newspapers, Pravda (Truth) and Izvestiya (News) if both are organs of the same Party?

Answer: Because in Pravda there are no news, and in Izvestiya there is no truth.

Question: What is it that starts with an R and never ends?
Answer: Reorganization.

Question: Is it possible to build socialism in one stand-alone country?
Answer: It’s possible, but better to live in another country.

Question: Are there questions you can’t answer?
Answer: No. We approach our job in accordance with the Marx’ dialectics. To any question we can give any answer.

guess they knew moer about these two wars than most americans.
Question: What was the main problem our pilots encountered during Korean war and during the war in Vietnam?

Answer: No, because a woman and a diplomat use differently the words Yes and No. If a diplomat says Yes, it means Maybe. If a diplomat says Maybe, it means No. If a diplomat says No, what kind of diplomat is he? On the other hand, if a woman says No, it means Maybe. If a woman says Maybe, it means Yes. If a woman says Yes, well, what kind of woman is she?

Question: What is permitted and what is prohibited?

Answer: In England, what is permitted, is permitted, and what is prohibited, is prohibited.

In America everything is permitted except for what is prohibited.

In Germany everything is prohibited except for what is permitted.

In France everything is permitted, even what is prohibited.

In the USSR everything is prohibited, even what is permitted.

I guess the soviets visited their kind of women on us…

Question: How can it be that ugly cocoons convert into beautiful butterflies?

Answer: What is unusual about it? For example, all young girls are so pretty and nice, but where do all those ugly witches of wives come from?

“Mr President, this stamp is not much in use.”

“Why?”

“The people complain it wouldn’t stick to the envelope.”

“So what, is the glue bad?”

“No, the glue is good, just they spit on the wrong side.”